Is Sex Sinful in Committed Relationship

[Ashley_123]

God bless

 

[Southernscotty]

Welcome to CF Ashley
Yes it is sin. Wait until you are married or get married..

 

[HereIStand]

Try to avoid it. That you are aware of it shows that you have a strong faith. God bless.

 

[HatGuy]

While all of us pretty much hate the fact that it is a sin, that doesn't change the fact that it is. I wished it wasn't when I was engaged! But it'll be better for the two of you to refrain until marriage. SO much better. Just hold off, it'll be worth it.

 

[CodyFaith]

Hey,

Yes it is sin. Wait. Wait. Wait. God knows our weaknesses, but he provides a way out if we look for it.

 

[1 John 4:1]

I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years. We are young but we are both Christian and strong in our faith. We have only ever been with eachother & want to be married one day & are excited for our future together. However, one thing we struggle with is sex. We both know it is sin and we know we are young but it can be difficult to avoid temptation and we have definitely failed in the past.
Is having sex when you are in a committed relationship really a sin? Especially when you both plan to be married. We are just young (20) which is why we are not married as we are still finishing our degrees and dont have a place together yet . We are both just very lost and struggle with this a lot.

"But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
1 Cor 7:9

Marriage isn't a ceremony or a legal contract it is a promise/commitment. There is never any obligation in the Bible to get a civil contract to be considered married in the eyes of others. (although that is probably wise to enforce your commitment and avoid the appearance of evil) If you are committed to be with each other forever and you consider yourself to be married then you are married. I would just worry that it's easier to break that commitment if you don't have any outside recognition of your marriage.

There's no legal/social reason (I see) why you can't get married even if you can't live together at the moment. So my question for you would be: why haven't you gotten married yet? (made the promise and had the ceremony and gotten recognition from others that you are married) (I don't think it's important to get a government marriage license especially given we live in a secular society) Until you both get your own place it's just important to not get pregnant.

 

[CodyFaith]

1 Corinthians 7:9

Marriage isn't a ceremony or a legal contract it is a promise/commitment. There is never any obligation in the Bible to get a civil contract to be considered married in the eyes of others. (although that is probably wise to enforce your commitment) If you are committed to be with each other forever and you consider yourself to be married then you are married. I would just worry that it's easier to break that commitment if you don't have any outside recognition of your marriage.

There's no legal/social reason (I see) why you can't get married even if you can't live together at the moment. So my question for you would be: why haven't you gotten married yet? (made the promise and had the ceremony and gotten recognition from others that you are married) (I don't think it's important to get a government marriage license especially given we live in a secular society) Until you both get your own place it's just important to not get pregnant.

That is not true. If you are not married according to customs at the current time and/or laws of the land, you are not married. In no instance in scripture did the covenant of marriage deviate from this principle.

 

[Inkfingers]

If the "committed relationship" is not marriage, yes it's sinful.

 

[1 John 4:1]

That is not true. If you are not married according to customs at the current time and/or laws of the land, you are not married. In no instance in scripture did the covenant of marriage deviate from this principle.

Could you give me a source? I realize in the old testament they had a theocracy that regulated marriage. I am just talking in context us being in a secular society. Where in the Bible are you required to get a government permit to be married? (although this might be wise to do under certain circumstances where does it say you have to?)

 

[Southernscotty]

Marriage is a legal union between one natural born male and one natural born female that is celebrated as such with a ceremony and if it is before God and it is real, Then you best not deny it to the government to gain more income or better insurance. That would be sin.

 

[CodyFaith]

Could you give me a source? I realize in the old testament they had a theocracy that regulated marriage. I am just talking in context us being in a secular society. Where in the Bible are you required to get a government permit to be married? (although this might be wise to do under certain circumstances where does it say you have to?)

I have no specific source for it. But we both can agree that scripture states we are to follow the laws and customs of the land except when they deviate from God's laws. We are to submit to the authorities of the land, the powers that be, and are to respect customs. Paul wrote these things in the letters, but this type of wisdom was always with righteous men, from Abraham to the New Testament. The book of Esther is a good example of the humility we are to take in regards to laws and customs, and also a good example of when we are permitted to disobey them (Mordecai's refusal to bow). Another example of permitted disobedience is the men refusing to commit idoltary in Daniel 3:18.

 

[1 John 4:1]

Marriage is a legal union between one natural born male and one natural born female that is celebrated as such with a ceremony and if it is before God and it is real, Then you best not deny it to the government to gain more income or better insurance. That would be sin.

Actually you get some tax benefits with being in a marriage so you wouldn't be denying the government anything . . .

Again, could you give me where you are getting this definition? Who was around to perform a ceremony for Adam and Eve?

 

[Enigma42310]

If you want to have sex then why not work on getting your own place together and getting married? I used to not think it was a big deal but there's a good chance you'll regret it later on, there's a dignity and pride you'll have about yourself if you stay true to your convictions and do the right thing. Honestly I had sex before marriage and did end up marrying him but I would still feel better about myself if I had waited.

 

[Southernscotty]

Actually you get some tax benefits with being in a marriage so you wouldn't be denying the government anything . . .

Again, could you give me where you are getting this definition? Who was around to perform a ceremony for Adam and Eve?

Some people claim marriage if it is convenient and yet not if it entitles then to lose healthcare benefits or say a single woman with three kids keeps "single" on the forms to keep welfare and yet tells everyone that she is married. That is wrong!! God was present, Most important guest they could have :] Talk about VIP

 

[1 John 4:1]

I have no specific source for it. But we both can agree that scripture states we are to follow the laws and customs of the land except when they deviate from God's laws. We are to submit to the authorities of the land, the powers that be, and are to respect customs. Paul wrote these things in the letters, but this type of wisdom was always with righteous men, from Abraham to the New Testament. The book of Esther is a good example of the humility we are to take in regards to laws and customs, and also a good example of when we are permitted to disobey them (Mordecai's refusal to bow). Another example of permitted disobedience is the men refusing to commit idoltary in Daniel 3:18.

I don't know of any court cases where the government sued or arrested people who were living together and considered themselves married but didn't get a government permit . . . Do you really want to try and follow all the blue laws too? Top Craziest Laws Still on the Books The government really doesn't seem to care about this.

 

[Dave-W]

However, one thing we struggle with is sex. We both know it is sin and we know we are young but it can be difficult to avoid temptation and we have definitely failed in the past.

You both know it Is a sin. I think you have your answer right there.

Believe me, almost all of us know first hand how strong that temptation is.

Avoid being alone together.
Find and utilize accountability partners who will call you on the carpet if you go too far.
Get into pre marital counseling.

Or get married now at the local courthouse or justice of the peace; and save the big ceremony for later. One of my daughters did that with our blessing.

 

[1 John 4:1]

Some people claim marriage if it is convenient and yet not if it entitles then to lose healthcare benefits or say a single woman with three kids keeps "single" on the forms to keep welfare and yet tells everyone that she is married. That is wrong!! God was present, Most important guest they could have :] Talk about VIP

Ok well I'm not really familiar with this issue, if people can get benefits they aren't supposed to have then that's wrong.

However, taking this logic of (government permit + ceremony = married) the other way, would you consider people married who are living together and then are automatically considered married by the government? Common-law marriage in the United States - Wikipedia oh right, maybe they have go through the motions of a wedding ceremony, see that's problem I have with this . . . they haven't made a commitment.

 

[1 John 4:1]

"That is wrong!! God was present, Most important guest they could have :] "
Ummm, so if me and a woman get together and pray and then commit to being married then that's fine? (I thought you had a problem with this) Matthew 18:20 "For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst."

 

[Kevin Snow]

Ok, this is the issue here that no one is stating or understanding. Sex is marriage. You are already married through the sexual union. God commanded this:

If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the bride-price for her and make her his wife. ~Exodus 22:16

And that's it! If you were a virgin to this man, then all God requires is that you ante up and pay the bride-price and get married. But the sexual union is most certainly the marriage. The ceremony is just where you make public oaths that you won't go with anyone else. But GOING with them is the sex, which you have clearly already gone.

What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. ~Mark 10:9

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. ~Genesis 2:24

One flesh is sex. This is the beginning of all marriage, its the sex.

 

[Southernscotty]

"That is wrong!! God was present, Most important guest they could have :] "
Ummm, so if me and a woman get together and pray and then commit to being married then that's fine? (I thought you had a problem with this) Matthew 18:20 "For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst."

No... You ask me who they had perform the ceremony? I said God and He is the most important guest at any ceremony