Is putting your baby up for adoption a sin, or at least against what God would want?

[RDKirk]

I was speaking with some fellow Christians on the matter of abortion and whether it is still a sin if the woman has been raped. We concluded that it is still a sin, but disagreed on what should then be done with the baby. They all said that ideally, the baby should be put up for adoption because it is not the mother's responsibility to care for it. They also said that if the mother was poor, it would be better for the mother's sake to give the baby up.

I feel their belief is wrong because it shows a lack of faith in God to provide and also does not reflect God's love. I believe that the love we are to have should be unconditional, endure through pain and fear, and does not abandon. It just seems conditional to me. Why would the baby not deserve its mother's love or nurture just because she struggles with money? It seems as if the mother would be thinking of herself. But what about the baby? It wants and needs its mother's love. I do understand the mother was forced into intercourse and didn't ask for the baby, which is truly unfortunate, but the baby did not ask to be born either. It is a victim just as the mother is, so why punish it? Wouldn't enduring through this pain and uncertainty and still loving the baby with all your heart be the epitome of the love God wants his people to have? I also believe it would be better to raise the child yourself with God so that it grows up with faith instead of handing the baby over to people who likely won't raise it with God in their life. I think the following verses support my stance: Proverbs 3:5-6, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, and 1 Timothy 5:8.

The people I discussed this with are very upset at my views and believe they are insensitive and unsympathetic to the plight of women who go through this. I'm wondering if they are right and if it really is best to give the baby up. Maybe it is me setting these standards, and God thinks differently. Maybe I'm misinterpreting or misapplying the verses I mentioned. I just don't understand why God would want or condone this abandonment. So if you disagree, please help me understand why my views may be wrong. Any insight is appreciated. Thank you.

What you believe is wrong is not necessarily a sin to God, despite your own rationales.

Jochebed essentially put her son up for adoption (technically, she abandoned him, but she actually put him into God's hands), and scripture never condemns her.

God's provision is supposed to be us, His people, His believers. That was true in the Old Testament in Israel. God didn't continue to rain manna every day. The Mosaic Law was written to provide for widows and single mothers (fatherless children). His believers were His providers.

That continued to be true in the Christian congregations. God didn't rain manna on the widows and single mothers, the congregations provided for them.

So, if a pregnant woman has no faith in God's provision....that's a matter of her observing that God's (so-called) people are sitting on their hands and not providing for widows and single mothers as we are supposed to do.

 

[comana]

That is what people join CF for - to post opinions. If you need a link to support the poster's opinion, start posting totally unbiased links in all of your own messages.

BTW my opinions are always based on known facts and logic. I would beat you every time if we had an argument about the morality of abortion.

Opinions should be stated as such. This a debate board and it is normal to ask for citations on what appears to be stated as facts. Debating against pure opinion is pointless as opinions rarely change.

 

[RDKirk]

Blaming this on irresponsible sexual behavior is not the answer. Women in committed relationships ( marriage or long term) also find themselves choosing abortion . Conditions in the US specifically are counter to supporting women in pregnancy or even start a family with a committed , supportive partner. Until we as a society face the actual rather than imagined reasons women seek abortion, the desire to abort will out weigh rather than to keep or put up for adoption.

I think meeting the issue of Christian women who seek abortions could be done if just Christians as a community took responsibility as a community for it.

That calls for deeply re-thinking our position as Christians, men and women, in this society. We have to raise our children in a Christian culture and community which rationally eschews the practices and values of unbelievers and provides to young Christian men and women a more enriching life. We have to be willing to provide real family and community support to young men and women who marry early ("It's better to marry than to burn with lust")

God continually tasks in both the old and new testaments to care for widows and fatherless children (that would be single mothers). In my military career, I attended many congregations, but only one where the pastor was as serious as God is about making sure the widows and fatherless children in the congregation were cared for. He was the only pastor who actually kept a list of such women as Paul instructed.

But if we expect single women to keep their children, that's what we as a Christian community should be doing as standard practice.

 

[Larniavc]

I'm talking about what Christians have historically considered orthodox for 2,000 years.

Grabs popcorn.

 

[Larniavc]

There are zero benefits to a man marrying a woman with children compared to marrying a woman without children.

Unless they love each other. Frankly I'm surprised you didn't include that.

 

[GodLovesCats]

There are zero benefits to a man marrying a woman with children compared to marrying a woman without children.

That is a blatant lie. Single women who get pregnant are more likely to get abortions than married pregnant women because they cannot take care of their children alone. If abortion is illegal somewhere, she is forced to quit school and/or her job to just be a stay at home mom and will be a bad one. Also, children need both a mom and dad caring for them, even if one parent is not biologically related, because men and women serve different roles in parenting. If you want abortion to be illegal, you want more women marrying divorced men and vice versa for the benefits of children who otherwise would have been aborted.

 

[RDKirk]

That is a blatant lie. Single women who get pregnant are more likely to get abortions than married pregnant women because they cannot take care of their children alone. If abortion is illegal somewhere, she is forced to quit school and/or her job to just be a stay at home mom and will be a bad one. Also, children need both a mom and dad caring for them, even if one parent is not biologically related, because men and women serve different roles in parenting. If you want abortion to be illegal, you want more women marrying divorced men and vice versa for the benefits of children who otherwise would have been aborted.

My comment had nothing to do with abortion.

You didn't name a single benefit to the man, so how have you proven "No benefit to the man" to be a lie?

You presented nothing but a strawman argument, responding to something that wasn't said.

 

[RDKirk]

Unless they love each other. Frankly I'm surprised you didn't include that.

I said, "...compared to marrying a woman without children." That couple, too, would love each other. More importantly, they would have had a chance to cleave to one another before the children entered the relationship.

The proper man/wife cleaving is extremely difficult when children are already present. "You're not their father!" and "You're not my daddy!" is always one breath away. And if the biological father is still in the picture, it becomes even more difficult.

 

[Jonathan_Gale]

It doesn't really benefit men, except in the most superficial way of casual sex. In longer terms, there is no benefit to men. It's not for no reason that all cultures have developed marriage rules that ensure wives are bound to their husbands and vice versa. Even in polygamous cultures, men are bound to their wives.

But such superficial way of casual sex is exactly what many men want, it especially benefits the wealthy men who might be in their middle age crisis seeking some thrill with a pretty young thing, that's almost become a cliche.

 

[GodLovesCats]

But such superficial way of casual sex is exactly what many men want, it especially benefits the wealthy men who might be in their middle age crisis seeking some thrill with a pretty young thing, that's almost become a cliche.

And these are the same men who want to force their wives to have children no matter what. No man should get what he wants at the expense of any woman.

 

[Jonathan_Gale]

Blaming this on irresponsible sexual behavior is not the answer. Women in committed relationships ( marriage or long term) also find themselves choosing abortion . Conditions in the US specifically are counter to supporting women in pregnancy or even start a family with a committed , supportive partner. Until we as a society face the actual rather than imagined reasons women seek abortion, the desire to abort will out weigh rather than to keep or put up for adoption.

Yeah, we've got a culture of death instead of a culture of life, and there's too much deception and ignorance. How is it empowerment for women to have a super vacuum machine stuck into your womb and sucking a living soul out of you?

 

[Jonathan_Gale]

And these are the same men who want to force their wives to have children no matter what. No man should get what he wants at the expense of any woman.

I find that hard to believe. It is true that most women have such a "baby fever", an innate, strong urge to experience pregnancy and motherhood, but the same is not necessarily true for men. In the ancient tribal agricultural society, children were absolutely blessings, the more the better; but in modern urban setting, another child is just another mouth to feed.

And this is the tricky part in the abortion debate, it's always centered around woman's right and the unborn's personhood, but nobody ever mentions the father. But think about it, from the father's perspective, if the woman chooses life, he would be tied to the child and forced to pay child support for the next 18 years; if he's married and already has a family and a reputation, then such infidelity could cost him everything, it could ruin his whole life; if she chooses abortion, however, then it ends quietly in the hollow tube, there's zero consequence or responsibility, he doesn't even have to know because it's "a medical decision between the woman and her doctor," and it encourages and emboldens him to continue sleeping around. So what would you choose in this situation? The answer is quite obvious.

 

[comana]

Yeah, we've got a culture of death instead of a culture of life, and there's too much deception and ignorance. How is it empowerment for women to have a super vacuum machine stuck into your womb and sucking a living soul out of you?

It’s like you don’t even read what I post and just go off on your own rants.

 

[RDKirk]

But such superficial way of casual sex is exactly what many men want, it especially benefits the wealthy men who might be in their middle age crisis seeking some thrill with a pretty young thing, that's almost become a cliche.

Getting "exactly what you want" isn't necessarily a benefit. Most adults know that.

 

[Jonathan_Gale]

It’s like you don’t even read what I post and just go off on your own rants.

You don't seem to have read mine either. I made it clear that abortion is mainly attributed to this sick hookup culture and its proponents, women are just victims of it.

 

[RDKirk]

You don't seem to have read mine either. I made it clear that abortion is mainly attributed to this sick hookup culture and its proponents, women are just victims of it.

You are off-topic.

This thread is not about abortion, it's about adoption.

 

[Jonathan_Gale]

You are off-topic.

This thread is not about abortion, it's about adoption.

These two are tightly connected. The more adoptions, the less abortions. Sadly adoption is far less convenient and acceptable than abortion.

 

[Pommer]

Yeah, we've got a culture of death instead of a culture of life, and there's too much deception and ignorance. How is it empowerment for women to have a super vacuum machine stuck into your womb and sucking a living soul out of you?

Most abortions today go like this:
Here take this pill. Take this other pill home with you and take it tomorrow.
Have a nice weekend!

 

[Larniavc]

The proper man/wife cleaving is extremely difficult when children are already present.

I don’t really see how that is such a big problem. Families reconstitute successfully all the time.

You said there were zero benefits? Did you mean that or was it hyperbole?

 

[RDKirk]

I don’t really see how that is such a big problem. Families reconstitute successfully all the time.

You said there were zero benefits? Did you mean that or was it hyperbole?

I said, and I said it to you again: "...compared to marrying a woman without children."

Well, there would be one exception: If the man wanted to be a father, but was nonvirile.