Is it wrong?

[Warrior_For_Jesus]

Hello. I am a very confused teenager. lol..
Well, my boyfriend and I went to a teen conference over the weekend held by a local church. We heard some really good preaching and we both made some serious decisions.
Ok, well, my boyfriend and I have been holding hands, kissing, hugging, and putting our ars around each other and stuff. But at the conference, they preached about how it was wrong for a man to touch a woman and stuff. My boyfriend and I, who are both Christians were both convicted that maybe we shouldn't touch anymore until we knew it was right. Even stop holding hands.
When I got home from the conference, I starting crying and my mom wanted to know what was wrong. I told her that I was confused and about my decisions. She told me that there wasn't a problem with holding hands and giving pecks as long as you keep them at that and don't go to far. I told my boyfriend that I thought it would be ok to hold hands and just give pecks every now and then. But I'm still not sure, and neither is he. I'm already praying about it. But I thought maybe someone could help me out on here. So your help is greatly appreciated. (=
~ Alyson ~

 

[Canuckmom]

I think the danger in hugging and kissing is that it can so easily tempt you to do more. These expressions of love actually belong in marriage and to raise up all these desires when you are still in your teens is setting yourselves up for trouble. Some folks would say that if young people are not in a position to get married they shouldn't be going out together at all, which in your teens you most likely are not ready for yet.
Our daughter recently married after a supervised courtship. The first kiss they shared was at the wedding. They are very happy together and have no regrets that they had such a courtship.
I hope I was able to be of help;-)

 

[the particular baptist]

Our daughter recently married after a supervised courtship. The first kiss they shared was at the wedding. They are very happy together and have no regrets that they had such a courtship.
I hope I was able to be of help;-)

God bless your efforts. We plan on doing the same with ours. It is encouraging to know people have successfully seen it through.

in Christ,
flavio

 

[IronManMatt]

In the Bible there are no rules about dating or what kind of physical contact is allowed. However the bible is very clear about God's ban on fornication (sex outside of marriage). Dating couples might have it in mind to wait for marriage to have sex but then will often tempt themselves through physical contact that comes close to being sex. I think you should figure out what your bonderies are going to be with your boyfriend in regards to physical contact and then stick to them. There is nothing inhertenly sinful about holding hands, hugging, or even kissing your boyfriend. You should probably talk to your mom or another older christian woman about this issue. Then you should (you, not your boyfriend) figure out what our boundries are, tell your boyfriend what they are, and don't cross them. If you can create boundries and stick to them you I think you will be better able to enjoy time with your boyfriend without risking turning it into a truly sinful relationship.

 

[DeaconDean]

Hello. I am a very confused teenager. lol..
Well, my boyfriend and I went to a teen conference over the weekend held by a local church. We heard some really good preaching and we both made some serious decisions.
Ok, well, my boyfriend and I have been holding hands, kissing, hugging, and putting our ars around each other and stuff. But at the conference, they preached about how it was wrong for a man to touch a woman and stuff. My boyfriend and I, who are both Christians were both convicted that maybe we shouldn't touch anymore until we knew it was right. Even stop holding hands.
When I got home from the conference, I starting crying and my mom wanted to know what was wrong. I told her that I was confused and about my decisions. She told me that there wasn't a problem with holding hands and giving pecks as long as you keep them at that and don't go to far. I told my boyfriend that I thought it would be ok to hold hands and just give pecks every now and then. But I'm still not sure, and neither is he. I'm already praying about it. But I thought maybe someone could help me out on here. So your help is greatly appreciated. (=
~ Alyson ~

Let me guess, hum...did the message have something to do with 1 Cor. 7:1?

God Bless

Till all are one.

 

[DD2008]

Stay as far away from dating as possible until you are old enough and responsible enough to suffer any potential consequences.

There is a lot to be said for having a friend of the opposite sex. We should love one another for our personalities and save our physical intimacies for marriage.

 

[JCFantasy23]

I personally see nothing wrong with pecks, hugging, and hand holding. But some may be too tempted by it for their own tastes, others may grow closer through this bond. Pray about it and find what is right for you with God.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

For what it's worth, I don't think the verse that says, "It is good for a man not to touch a woman" meant it was *bad* for a man to touch a woman. But sometimes even when there is nothing wrong with it, that doesn't mean there is something right with it. I wouldn't call hand holding or light hugging/kissing wrong, but maybe a better question would be, "Is it safe?" If you feel tempted, then cut back on affectionate touching.

 

[nhisname]

Hello. I am a very confused teenager. lol..
Well, my boyfriend and I went to a teen conference over the weekend held by a local church. We heard some really good preaching and we both made some serious decisions.
Ok, well, my boyfriend and I have been holding hands, kissing, hugging, and putting our ars around each other and stuff. But at the conference, they preached about how it was wrong for a man to touch a woman and stuff. My boyfriend and I, who are both Christians were both convicted that maybe we shouldn't touch anymore until we knew it was right. Even stop holding hands.
When I got home from the conference, I starting crying and my mom wanted to know what was wrong. I told her that I was confused and about my decisions. She told me that there wasn't a problem with holding hands and giving pecks as long as you keep them at that and don't go to far. I told my boyfriend that I thought it would be ok to hold hands and just give pecks every now and then. But I'm still not sure, and neither is he. I'm already praying about it. But I thought maybe someone could help me out on here. So your help is greatly appreciated. (=
~ Alyson ~

The best advice I can give you is listen to the Lord. Don't put yourself in a compromising situation where it would be easy to go to far.

 

[StreetPreacher82]

The best advice I can give you is listen to the Lord. Don't put yourself in a compromising situation where it would be easy to go to far.

 

[Cody2]

Make sure you don't go anywhere by yourselves. Always be around people. That is the best advice I could give you.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Make sure you don't go anywhere by yourselves. Always be around people. That is the best advice I could give you.

Repped.

 

[ChrisJ1968]

the doctrine described in 1st Corinthians chptr 7, goes to keep people within the framework of GOD's law of fornication. sexual activity is meant to be within marriage only. Read verse two for the reason why.

 

[edie19]

I think the danger in hugging and kissing is that it can so easily tempt you to do more. These expressions of love actually belong in marriage and to raise up all these desires when you are still in your teens is setting yourselves up for trouble. Some folks would say that if young people are not in a position to get married they shouldn't be going out together at all, which in your teens you most likely are not ready for yet.
Our daughter recently married after a supervised courtship. The first kiss they shared was at the wedding. They are very happy together and have no regrets that they had such a courtship.
I hope I was able to be of help;-)

I agree with this 110%.

I really see no reason for early to mid teens to have a boyfriend/girlfriend.

The rules at our house were always
1. No dating until age 16 and then only group dates
2. No "single" dates until a senior in high school

My daughter is a college senior and still doesn't date, never has. She's extremely discerning and has, I think, a very good attitude towards dating. She wants to be sure she knows the person before she would date them and based on that knowledge she knows that he's a person she wouldn't consider marrying, she won't date them.

Oh, and whoever she marries darn well better ask my husband's and my permission before asking my daughter.

 

[JerryL]

I agree with this 110%.

I really see no reason for early to mid teens to have a boyfriend/girlfriend.

The rules at our house were always
1. No dating until age 16 and then only group dates
2. No "single" dates until a senior in high school

My daughter is a college senior and still doesn't date, never has. She's extremely discerning and has, I think, a very good attitude towards dating. She wants to be sure she knows the person before she would date them and based on that knowledge she knows that he's a person she wouldn't consider marrying, she won't date them.

Oh, and whoever she marries darn well better ask my husband's and my permission before asking my daughter.

As Mark Driscoll would say, "Whoever dates my daughter, better love Jesus." Mark is a funny guy, I love his "Rants".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_MLUuNKjZU

 

[edie19]

As Mark Driscoll would say, "Whoever dates my daughter, better love Jesus."

I assumed that was a given since we're in the Baptist forum.

But yes - she would tell you being converted is the first requirement

 

[hsmommyofmany]

Hello. I am a very confused teenager. lol..
Well, my boyfriend and I went to a teen conference over the weekend held by a local church. We heard some really good preaching and we both made some serious decisions.
Ok, well, my boyfriend and I have been holding hands, kissing, hugging, and putting our ars around each other and stuff. But at the conference, they preached about how it was wrong for a man to touch a woman and stuff. My boyfriend and I, who are both Christians were both convicted that maybe we shouldn't touch anymore until we knew it was right. Even stop holding hands.
When I got home from the conference, I starting crying and my mom wanted to know what was wrong. I told her that I was confused and about my decisions. She told me that there wasn't a problem with holding hands and giving pecks as long as you keep them at that and don't go to far. I told my boyfriend that I thought it would be ok to hold hands and just give pecks every now and then. But I'm still not sure, and neither is he. I'm already praying about it. But I thought maybe someone could help me out on here. So your help is greatly appreciated. (=
~ Alyson ~

you are so sweet...what a wonderful heart for the Lord you have...praise God for that. coming from a person who did not have such convictions as a teen...please, please keep you distance physically. you are young, the temptations are great. if hand holding and pecks make you tempted to do more then dont do it. everyone is different but please, take it from somone who knows, you will regret it if you give into it. i have regrets everyday about the decisions i made as a teen and young adult. the choices you make leave a permanent scare, no matter what anyone tells you. stay pure, you will reap the rewards! God bless you and your boyfriend. i am praying that my daughter turns out to be as convicted as you at her age.

 

[JerryL]

I assumed that was a given since we're in the Baptist forum.

But yes - she would tell you being converted is the first requirement

I was talking about my daughter, but yes, she is the same way as yours. He has to be a Christian for her to even have a 14yr. olds crush.

 

[mandyjw]

I don't think that hugging, kissing and holding hands are going to lead you into sin. However, if you feel like it's wrong, you probably shouldn't be doing it. You and your boyfriend need to decide what is right for yourselves before God.

When I was 17 I dated a guy with really strict parents. All the rules he had to follow seemed to make us miserable when they didn't only add to our temptation. Some of our other friends ended up getting married very young before they even got a chance to really know each other because of the pressure of similar rules. My boyfriend and I wanted to do the same and if we had I'd hate to think where we would be now if we hadn't waited to get married. Back when the Bible was written it was normal for people to get married very young. Now our society and churches expect us to wait much longer and until college is over with or we have jobs. That causes a lot of issues with dating and that is why a lot of people make these rules.

I don't really see how you can have a healthy relationship with someone and really get to know them as a person when you can't be alone with them or even talk to them without other people listening. I understand that the people who make these rules are only trying to help you out but sometimes they can hurt you. Just be careful and read your Bible, think about it, talk about it and pray about it. People sin in a lot of different ways, sometimes even in their attempts to avoid sin.

 

[ChristianMama84]

Good for you!! Stick by your convictions, no matter how hard it gets. Have an accountability person, don't be alone, and keep on following Jesus, you're on the right path!! I wish I had followed Jesus instead of the world, but instead I let the devil in the door with the little things and as a result my dh was the 3rd person I have had sex with. I honestly wish he were the first and I regret not waiting for him.