Introverts in the church

[Tigger45]

I've visited dozens of churches and just can't find a home church. That's why I searched for this forum. Please pray for me. I really want to fit in.

 

[LivelaWahrheit]

I've visited dozens of churches and just can't find a home church. That's why I searched for this forum. Please pray for me. I really want to fit in.

Don't worry, friend. Jesus has special friends already picked out for you

 

[Alive_Again]

I've visited dozens of churches and just can't find a home church. That's why I searched for this forum. Please pray for me. I really want to fit in.

What a wonderful prayer and a delight to God (that He put within you) to want to be in the right place at the right time.

Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
Heb 10:25

You obviously understand the importance of staying in fellowship with God and His people. You no doubt realize the importance of being a sheep in a sheepfold and all of the blessings God provides in this very special place (just for sheep). It is to be highly regarded.

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments; As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life for evermore.
Psalms 133:1-3

Yes! For here the Lord commands the blessing.

Here's a little something I believe the Lord quickened once when I heard another ask for prayer along these same lines. It is a righteous prayer indeed!

We know faith comes from hearing the Word of God in our spirits, so I'll give scripture to remind you of what you probably already know, but it does a person good to stir up "our pure minds by way of remembrance".

And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
Matt 21:22

God has an army behind Him that work on the earth to bring about that which He desires. We cannot see them, but there are more with us, than are against us. I would surmise that most blessings are conveyed to us in some form or fashion with the ministry of angels.

For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.
Psalms 91:11

The Lord uses them to help keep us in God's ways. Although we can get out of divine order, and we sometimes hinder them with our sin and unbelief, they stand ready to do what they do for the heirs of salvation.

Are they not all ministering spirits, sent forth to minister for them who shall be heirs of salvation?
Heb 1:14

They listen for people to get into agreement with what God has already declared and what a provision for the believer God has given us!

Bless the Lord, ye his angels, that excel in strength, that do his commandments, hearkening unto the voice of his word.
Psalms 103:20

It's now up to us to believe and although you've prayed (and others too), here's a good way to keep yourself from being doubleminded about it and to keep your believing active and working...

Try praying this prayer... (out loud)

Father, I delight in your Word. Please direct me to the place of sweet fellowship you have appointed for me in this day and time. If need be, use your angels to give me divine appointments, and let me know in my know-er when I reach that place. Protect me from the wolves that eye your sheep, and I'll know by the peace of your kingdom within, when I reach that appointed place, in Jesus' name. Amen!

If anyone asks you after praying this if you know where you're supposed to be fellowshipping, just declare that God is working even now to direct you to that place. Don't say I don't know, but just affirm your prayer because God started working the moment you stood asking and believing to bring you your answer.

Be open to meeting new people and if you feel compelled to go somewhere different (even the grocery store), do it even if it seems odd. You might even wear a Christian shirt, or something that identifies you with the kingdom. (This usually increases my faith because as you affirm Him publicly, He affirms you in the presence of His holy angels.) Just be grateful that God heard your prayer and don't be frustrated if it is not immediately forthcoming. You can visit places if you're not sure and you'll know by the peace if that is the place God has appointed for you.

Some people have described being in the wrong place as "showering with your socks on", or something along those lines. I've attended what I believe were good churches, but I knew I wasn't supposed to make them my home church. I believe that God is good at what He does, and if we'll believe Him for this and let His resources work to help direct us or connect us with the right persons or circumstances, we'll rejoice that we're His children and that He fulfills His Word today.

(It's exciting to me to review these things because we KNOW God wants us in fellowship and of course He wants us to be where He wants us to go and He delights that we ask Him first and dare to believe Him for the answer! We know from the Word that He's got tons of angels and it takes faith to look out into the horizon and "see" with the eye of faith that He's using them on our behalf.

 

[Tigger45]

Wow, thank you {Alive Again}. As I was reading your response to my post simultaneously when I read the word "doubleminded" the preacher on tv was speaking it also. I take that as a confirmation from the Lord! No way could that be a coincidence.

 

[Alive_Again]

Awesome how God can stimulate our faith in Him and His Word by such things.

 

[meadowlark]

What a wonderful prayer and a delight to God (that He put within you) to want to be in the right place at the right time.

Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
Heb 10:25

You obviously understand the importance of staying in fellowship with God and His people. You no doubt realize the importance of being a sheep in a sheepfold and all of the blessings God provides in this very special place (just for sheep). It is to be highly regarded.

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments; As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life for evermore.
Psalms 133:1-3

Yes! For here the Lord commands the blessing.

Here's a little something I believe the Lord quickened once when I heard another ask for prayer along these same lines. It is a righteous prayer indeed!

We know faith comes from hearing the Word of God in our spirits, so I'll give scripture to remind you of what you probably already know, but it does a person good to stir up "our pure minds by way of remembrance".

And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
Matt 21:22

God has an army behind Him that work on the earth to bring about that which He desires. We cannot see them, but there are more with us, than are against us. I would surmise that most blessings are conveyed to us in some form or fashion with the ministry of angels.

For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.
Psalms 91:11

The Lord uses them to help keep us in God's ways. Although we can get out of divine order, and we sometimes hinder them with our sin and unbelief, they stand ready to do what they do for the heirs of salvation.

Are they not all ministering spirits, sent forth to minister for them who shall be heirs of salvation?
Heb 1:14

They listen for people to get into agreement with what God has already declared and what a provision for the believer God has given us!

Bless the Lord, ye his angels, that excel in strength, that do his commandments, hearkening unto the voice of his word.
Psalms 103:20

It's now up to us to believe and although you've prayed (and others too), here's a good way to keep yourself from being doubleminded about it and to keep your believing active and working...

Try praying this prayer... (out loud)

Father, I delight in your Word. Please direct me to the place of sweet fellowship you have appointed for me in this day and time. If need be, use your angels to give me divine appointments, and let me know in my know-er when I reach that place. Protect me from the wolves that eye your sheep, and I'll know by the peace of your kingdom within, when I reach that appointed place, in Jesus' name. Amen!

If anyone asks you after praying this if you know where you're supposed to be fellowshipping, just declare that God is working even now to direct you to that place. Don't say I don't know, but just affirm your prayer because God started working the moment you stood asking and believing to bring you your answer.

Be open to meeting new people and if you feel compelled to go somewhere different (even the grocery store), do it even if it seems odd. You might even wear a Christian shirt, or something that identifies you with the kingdom. (This usually increases my faith because as you affirm Him publicly, He affirms you in the presence of His holy angels.) Just be grateful that God heard your prayer and don't be frustrated if it is not immediately forthcoming. You can visit places if you're not sure and you'll know by the peace if that is the place God has appointed for you.

Some people have described being in the wrong place as "showering with your socks on", or something along those lines. I've attended what I believe were good churches, but I knew I wasn't supposed to make them my home church. I believe that God is good at what He does, and if we'll believe Him for this and let His resources work to help direct us or connect us with the right persons or circumstances, we'll rejoice that we're His children and that He fulfills His Word today.

(It's exciting to me to review these things because we KNOW God wants us in fellowship and of course He wants us to be where He wants us to go and He delights that we ask Him first and dare to believe Him for the answer! We know from the Word that He's got tons of angels and it takes faith to look out into the horizon and "see" with the eye of faith that He's using them on our behalf.

Such a gracious and well informed answer. That really spoke to my heart also.

 

[Alive_Again]

I'm convicted to not be doubleminded about praying for my wife, who has really been under attack and keeps lapsing into bitterness.

Speaking of angels (not that I dwell on that very often), I always thought one led me to a guitar I was looking for unsuccessfully. I went to a guitar show where thousands of guitars were. I am left handed and it's hard to find many guitars, especially for a decent price. I went by every table in that huge hall and didn't see one left handed acoustic guitar that I could afford (out of the very few leftys there). Just as I had said within myself that I was leaving, a bearded man came up to me on the floor (about 6' 7") and asked me what I was looking for. (I didn't even say anything out loud about leaving.) He told me to go to a pawn shop that was 1 mile from my house. (The guitar show was 25 miles from the house.) The guitar was an acoustic/electric (my first preference), was left handed and was better than the last 3 guitars I had owned. It cost me less than $200 (most of the guitars at the show were at least $400 or a lot more), and it was right by the house!

When I walked out of the place with it, I knew God worked to bring me this exact guitar. It occurred to me that the man was probably an angel, and praise the Lord for connecting me with it. I used it in the music ministry and was well pleased to have it... Thank you Jesus!

 

[Lumiere]

i am introvert aswell don't like small talks

I would sit down with your pastor and tell him exactly what you've told us - you are aware that idle chit-chat is not your forte, and you are very shy. Ask if there are ways you can help the church that do not involve a lot of social interaction - maybe do some office or yard work, or something like that. God uses all personalities, and does not expect you to change your base personality just because you are His.

 

[W2L]

One of the purposes of the gospel is to transform you. If you cannot work within Christian society how will you commit the things which you have word from faithful witnesses to faithful ones who can do likewise? How will you go into the world and make disciples?

I too was an introvert and a scholastic, but I came to realize that is incompatible with the evangilistic and edificational missions of the church. It's a hard thing to do, but you must struggle to break down the your barriers.

God gives different gifts to different people, so how is it we're all called to make disciples?

 

[Doug Melven]

I know the feeling of being an introvert. I am one.
For a long time I did not want to stay after service for fellowship, after all I have my relationship with Jesus, and I really don't need the encouragement of others.
At least that is what I told myself.
But what if they needed my encouragement?
I have a whole bunch of Scripture memorized and what good is it doing if I don't share it with others?
God didn't bless me with an ability to memorize Scripture just so I could have a head full of Scripture.
He blessed me with this gift so I could encourage others with a Word from God.

God has blessed you with some gift, you need to use it to benefit someone besides yourself.
I believe the basic reason we introverts don't want to be around others is fear.
What will they think of me?
Are they looking at me?
I wonder if my clothes are good enough? Is there a spot or rip somewhere I don't know about?
What if they call on me to pray? Will they recognize I am not that secure in my relationship with God?

But when we fear the LORD, we have strong confidence. Proverbs 14:26
And we know He approves of us, so what others think of us, shouldn't really matter. Luke 12:4-5
We need to magnify the LORD and minimize what others think of us.

Psalms 34:3 O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together.

 

[A_Thinker]

I'm torn about something spiritually and could use some perspective. My pastor has often times commented on people who don't hang out after the service is over (which I don't). He also has commented on how some of us don't participate in small groups and we don't attend the breakfasts or prayer meetings (which I don't) but that we need to.

I'm an introvert. I find hanging out making small talk uncomfortable. I don't like groups with several new people. This has nothing to do with the church or my spiritual walk, it's just the way I am. In every other area of my life I am exactly the same... When confronted with a problem, I don't immediately look to others for help. When pursing hobbies, I don't search for people with the same interests. When I have an evening of leisure, I don't go out and meet new people. And spiritually, I don't seek out fellowship. Professionally I have to spend time with people and so of course I do, but after a week I'm drained, and the last thing I want to do is hang out for coffee after service or spending the afternoon in a small group. I'd much rather go home and spend time in scripture, alone.

My professional world is bad enough. I constantly hear "You need to get out there! You need to network! Meet people! Get involved!" and when I hear it from my pastor I just want to put my head in my hands and sigh.

My issue: What is my responsibility to my brethren in the church? I mean, my salvation is secure, I'm comfortable with who I am, Jesus certainly knows this about me... why is it so important that I mingle? In the professional world I have to be who I'm not and be outgoing, engaging, and extroverted. But at my home church I just want to be who I am, sit quietly and listen to the service, and then go home. Why is that so wrong? How do the other Christian introverts manage their relationship with the church?

I, too, am an introvert.

At one point, I resorted to praying to God ... "Lord, if mingling with my Christian Brothers/sisters is something You want me to do, You are going to have to enable me, because, on my own, ... I cannot do it."

Since then, God has slowly drawn me in. I would say that His major tool was to involve me in some ministry ... and, therefore, the people in that ministry. I even found a very outgoing wife in one of my ministry partners.

Pray about it ... and let yourself be open to saying "yes" to requests for ministry partnership/volunteers.

Get to know your fellow christians a few at a time. Though you'll likely remain an introvert (I did) ... God will slowly open you up to others.

BTW ... I still sneak out the back door every now and then. Just not every week ...

 

[Doug Melven]

At one point, I resorted to praying to God ... "Lord, if mingling with my Christian Brothers/sisters is something You want me to do, You are going to have to enable me, because, on my own, ... I cannot do it."

This is a great prayer which can and should be applied to every are of our life.