I'm SOOOOO sorry if this is in the wrong category. I just didn't know where to put this. But this is an urgent, super serious need of help!
For years I've been terrified of going to hell.
I believe 110% with ALL my heart that God exists. I accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I have a Bible that I love dearly and take THE BEST CARE of it as I can. It has NO rips or any harm to it WHATSOEVER and I've had it for years!
I don't pray often, which I know i should. Should I start lpraying every morning and night?
I don't believe in the stories of Adam and Eve and Noah and such, but I do try my VERY HARDEST to believe in it. I just can't seem too. I respect EVERY story in the BIble fully, but I can't force myself to believe it. I mean, I believe that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, but the other stories... I just can't.
Does God understand that I'm trying my hardest to believe everything?
I do absolutely NO wrong. I've never hurt anyone in my WHOLE life with words or anything; my hands have never touched a person harmfully. I always help homeless people when I see them. I respect everybody. I never express hatred.
I just want God to know that I love Him more than anything. I have never once put anyone BEFORE Him.
I suffer from severe depression, severe anxiety and suicidal thoughts on a daily basis. Practically every second. The only reason why I haven't killed myself is that's going against God and I would never do that! I respect God and I would never throw away what He blessed me with. Even if I struggle everyday.
But I'm still SO terrified of going to hell. Can someone help me with knowing for sure that I'll go to Heaven? Because I want to be with God. I want to be with my family that has passed.
Please don't tell me to go to church. I REALLY REALLY would LOVE to, but with my severe anxiety, I don't want to have anxiety attacks there and ruin the whole thing. That would be disrespectful to God. (I've trie deverything to cure my anxiety FOR YEARS AND YEARS. Please don't give me any ideas on curing it, as I've tried everything and I've given up.)
Thank you.
If a loving God exists, He will not send anybody to hell. Hell-condemning God is like sweet grandmother torturing kittens. Impossible!
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