I'm addicted to Oxycontin

[Emira86]

Hi I'm Emira. I've been addicted to OC's for about a year and half. It's been especially bad the last 4 or 5 months. It's at the point I can't not use and I know what's going to happen if I keep using. I've become so lost and so different from the person I use to be. I'm embarassed and beyond ashamed of it. I've lost my family and most of my friends and it's so hard to know I've let it get this far. I use to be in college and looking forward to my future. Now I live to get high. I use to be a good person and now I can hardly get the motivation to get out of bed.

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

Well Emira, I really do feel your pain and I know your struggle first hand, I was addicted to pills, including OCs for 4 years, I have been sober now for 2 by the grace of God.

I see you are Muslim, I think though that since you are posting this cry for help in a Christian forum you are open to other avenues that will set you free from your prison. Well Emira I have good news!

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives And recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are oppressed;
19 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord.” (Luke 4:18,19)


This is what Jesus said when He first started His ministry in Israel. He said that He has come to "to set at liberty those who are oppressed".

Oppression can take many forms but it always has one root: SIN. Sin is a serious evil in the sight of God, it provokes and mocks His holiness and is blatant hatred for Him and His creation. God, Yahweh is completely holy and pure, it is His nature and humans as His creation are called to live in holiness also: "because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.” (1 Peter 1:16)

But you see God the Father in His mercy knows the state that His creation are in, He knows that sin is our death warrant, that we are completely helpless in our state of sin, we can not stop sinning and when we die we must pay the penalty of hell for the abominations we have committed.

And if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than with two hands to go to hell, to the unquenchable fire. And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life lame than with two feet to be thrown into hell. (Mark 9:44)


Our situation is very desperate, we have no hope in this world, that is unless the Lord would have mercy on us. Now we have come to the good news. You see those words that Jesus spoke are in red for a reason, that red represents the blood that was shed for mankind, His blood was the sacrifice that God's holiness and justice demanded for your sin. Jesus suffered and died in our place so that we could be free from the condemnation of sin and the power of it.


Emira come to Jesus Christ, study about Him yourself, He loves you and He will give you the freedom you need and want. Are you not sick of the hell you are living in? Jesus wants to rescue you, don't worry about what you have heard about Him, just have faith that Jesus sees you and loves you, God bless you and I will look forward to your response.


"Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.” (Acts 4:12)

 

[Emira86]

Congrats SOS! I hope one day I can get sober to. It's just taken over so much of my life. I'm hanging around with people I would never hang around with, doing things I never use to do, just living a life I never wanted to live. I'm stripping, I'm just so far from what I want to be. I feel like there is no point sometimes.

My family is Muslim. I was raised Muslim for most of my life. I don't practice anymore so you could probably call me an agnostic or an atheist right now. I am open to any religion really. I was born in Bosnia so I've been exposed to Christianity living there and here in the United States. My boyfriend use to be Christian so he has told me a bit about it to. So I would be open to Christianity.

I am attracted to Christianity because it seems more open to me about recovering from addiction. I'm dead to my family because of what has happened and it's so hard. It's hard knowing I can never atone for my mistakes in there eyes. Christianity doesn't seem as unforgiving as Islam can be.

I know I'm really, really, really sinning. It becomes a long spiral down. I just feel like I can't stop. I don't want to go to hell though and I don't want to die. So something has to give. I just feel powerless to save myself. Seems like the world hates me and just wants me to go away.

 

[Christos Anesti]

I'm dead to my family because of what has happened and it's so hard.

That must be awful. I'm just a sinner but you have my prayers.

Whenever you are afflicted or in a weak moment it can never hurt to ask for the mercy of God. "Lord make haste to help me*", or "Lord have Mercy", or the Jesus prayer that is prayed constantly by many of monastics "Lord Jesus Christ Son of God have mercy on my a sinner". Doing that can set to flight the thoughts that trouble you.

I'm not sure if you have ever heard of Narcotics Anonymous but many people find that going to NA meetings and working the steps can be very helpful to their recovery .

* From Psalm 70:

Make haste, O God, to deliver me!
O Lord, make haste to help me!
2 Let them be put to shame and confusion
who seek my life!
Let them be turned back and brought to dishonor
who delight in my hurt!
3 Let them turn back because of their shame
who say, “Aha, Aha!” 4 May all who seek you
rejoice and be glad in you!
May those who love your salvation
say evermore, “God is great!”
5 But I am poor and needy;
hasten to me, O God!
You are my help and my deliverer;
O Lord, do not delay!

 

[singpeace]

This is a scripture for you that you can read out loud like a prayer. I felt like it would be good for you.

Know that the Lord loves the oppressed and crippled child. He knows what your abilities are and what is impossible for you. Seeking him first will make the rest of your decisions fall into their proper order. Trust him, and be courageous. Nothing is impossible!


Psalm 51
1HAVE MERCY upon me, O God, according to Your steadfast love; according to the multitude of Your tender mercy and loving-kindness blot out my transgressions.
2Wash me thoroughly [and repeatedly] from my iniquity and guilt and cleanse me and make me wholly pure from my sin!

3For I am conscious of my transgressions and I acknowledge them; my sin is ever before me.

4Against You, You only, have I sinned and done that which is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified in Your sentence and faultless in Your judgment

6Behold, You desire truth in the inner being; make me therefore to know wisdom in my inmost heart.

7Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean [ceremonially]; wash me, and I shall [in reality] be whiter than snow.

8Make me to hear joy and gladness and be satisfied; let the bones which You have broken rejoice.

9Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my guilt and iniquities.

10Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me.

11Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me.

12Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.

13Then will I teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted and return to You.

14Deliver me from bloodguiltiness and death, O God, the God of my salvation, and my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness (Your rightness and Your justice).

17My sacrifice [the sacrifice acceptable] to God is a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart [broken down with sorrow for sin and humbly and thoroughly penitent], such, O God, You will not despise.

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

Congrats SOS! I hope one day I can get sober to. It's just taken over so much of my life. I'm hanging around with people I would never hang around with, doing things I never use to do, just living a life I never wanted to live. I'm stripping, I'm just so far from what I want to be. I feel like there is no point sometimes.

My family is Muslim. I was raised Muslim for most of my life. I don't practice anymore so you could probably call me an agnostic or an atheist right now. I am open to any religion really. I was born in Bosnia so I've been exposed to Christianity living there and here in the United States. My boyfriend use to be Christian so he has told me a bit about it to. So I would be open to Christianity.

I am attracted to Christianity because it seems more open to me about recovering from addiction. I'm dead to my family because of what has happened and it's so hard. It's hard knowing I can never atone for my mistakes in there eyes. Christianity doesn't seem as unforgiving as Islam can be.

I know I'm really, really, really sinning. It becomes a long spiral down. I just feel like I can't stop. I don't want to go to hell though and I don't want to die. So something has to give. I just feel powerless to save myself. Seems like the world hates me and just wants me to go away.

It's not about a religion Emira, its about Jesus Christ, He is alive and He is God, He has died for the sins of the world and He wants you to call on Him.

for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him.
13For “whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)

Religion cant save you, rules and regulations cant save you, even giving up sinning (although that is part of it) cant save you. There is only One who can save you and make you new and that is the Lord Jesus Christ, He alone came to set the prisoner of sin free.

Sin is real, death is real and hell is real, God must punish sin because He is holy, Jesus Christ stepped in for us and took that wrath, He stayed (He did not have too) on the cross and poured out every ounce of His blood so that he could cover our sin and declare us righteous in His sight.

It sounds complicated, but it really isn't Jesus came to earth because He loves us and wants us to be free from sins power and from its penalty, He came to offer forgiveness for the sins we have committed. God is holy (this is a point you must see), He is completely separate from this world, He is pure, (their is no sin or evil in Him) and what the Bible tells us also is that He is love: "He who does not love does not know God, for God is love." (1 John 4:8)

Because God is love He sent Jesus Christ (who is God the Son) to die in the place of sinful man who could not save themselves (because we are evil).

Emira, the most important thing that you could ever do in your life (eternity) is to call on the name of the one true God. Call on the Lord Jesus Christ to save you, to forgive you and to give you eternal life. He will if you ask Him and when you do, ask Him that He will grant you repentance from all of your sin. He loves you and He wants to save you, but you must leave your sin behind, you can not take it with you in this holy relationship with God. Ask Him to free you from the bondage of sin in your life and He will, His blood was shed for this.

May God bless you and if you do not have one yet, buy a bible and start reading it as soon as you can, start with the book of John.

In the love of Christ, Joshua

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
—John 14:6

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
—Romans 3:23

because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
—Romans 10:9-13

For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with him.
—1 Thessalonians 5:9-10

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.
—John 3:16-17

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

This is a evangelist who used to preach at my church:
YouTube - Hell to Pay - Steve Hill

 

[Detroit313]

As a recovering pain killer and heroin addict of 10 years, I know how you feel. I myself was also thrown out of my family, and after a year of clean time have I finally been allowed back, but the point is that I AM welcomed back into my family. While Christianity and religion are important, while you're strung out any connection with any God is impossible. I'm actually kind of surprised at the response of Bible verses and trying to convert her to Christianity instead of addressing the problem she came seeking help for, and what needs attention first. Part of the DISEASE of addiction is being spiritually and morally bankrupt. In my world when I was in active addiction, the last thing I wanted to hear was Bible versus. I think its more important right now to help you get clean, if thats what you want.

First things first, if you're ready to quit getting high, then you need to ask for help and get clean. Nobody can decide whether you're ready or not but yourself. What I can tell you is that using drugs never gets better, easier, cheaper, or under any control. Every hit will make it a little bit worse, I promise you. OC's led me to shooting up heroin. For years I tried convincing myself I was under control, that if I used this way it would get better or if I didn't do it that way it'd be easier. If I had more money, If i had a place to live, blah blah blah, and it NEVER got better. It just kept getting worse. I'm lucky to be alive, I've been brought back to life many times after overdoses that left me not breathing with no pulse. This statement has proven true for me and every addict I know: using drugs leads addicts to ONLY 3 places: Jails, Institutions, and Death.

No matter how many Bible verses are read to you or how far your family pushes you away, its not going to stop you from getting high. Only way its going to happen is if you decide you don't want to do it anymore. I know because the same things never stopped me, people prayed over me, took me to church, read the Bible to me, and I just nodded out through the whole thing. my family kicked me out, and told me not to come back. I failed out of college. It was get high n be homeless or stay clean , and I got high. then it was get high and lose family or get clean, and i got high. finally it was get high n go to jail or stay clean, I went to jail. It wasn't until I'd had enough that I was able to stay clean. If you've had enough then I'm here to help you in any way I can, but you will need to get at the VERY least into a detox, cuz I'm sure you know about how horrible being dopesick can be, I personally couldn't make it 24 hours on my own. Also check out some kind of rehab. If you have insurance, call them and ask who they cover, if not most counties have programs that will send you to treatment for free or very low cost, and finally there's free programs. Also, call the Narcotics Anonymous hotline you can find it online, they'll know where to start for treatment in your area, and get you involved in the program. I know how horrible it is to be strung out but also scary being clean can be. But I promise you if you give living clean a chance it gets better. Not always as quickly as we'd like, but it does get better.

Don't get me wrong, God is the ONLY reason I'm clean today. One of the basic principles of the recovery programs are accepting that only by giving your will over to God will you get better (Steps 2 and 3). God is the only way to get clean, I am not saying otherwise. Through the love and grace of God and his people, I went from a homeless junkie, a thief, liar, cheater, blasphemer, and sinner, to the man I am today. I'm not perfect, nowhere near it, but I'm trying hard, and through God I am doing well. Today I'm back in college, I have my family back, I got my license back, I have no more warrants out for my arrest, my arms aren't covered in scars, I have friends again, and I'm content with the way things are going. This was only possible with God. And it's true that planting the seed at any time will help, but the first step to finding God for an addict is to stop using, addiction steals your soul. In addiction the drug is the master, not God, and God said He can be the only master. But the drug ALWAYS comes first in active addiction. Therefore, before being able to truly turn your life over, one must stop using. I know it seems impossible to stop when your using, and as I said, in my opinion and the opinion of AA/NA and its members it is at least VERY difficult or impossible to stay clean without fellowship and God, but it is possible with God, there are millions of recovering addicts to attest to that.

As it says in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

"...our personal adventures before and after made clear 3 pertinent ideas:

A. We were alcoholic (addicts) and could not manage our own lives
B. That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism (addiction)
C. God could and would, if He were sought"

I really hope you decide to get clean, and I'll help you in any way i can, feel free to contact or message me. Just know that you never have to use again if you don't want to. NA works if you work it, God will do for you what you cannot for yourself (He did for me) and if a junkie like me can do it so can you.

*EDIT*
AA/NA are not Christian organizations, and call God a "Higher Power", and for their purposes any power greater than yourself will do. Many people get turned off to the program when they hear about God, but it doesn't have to be Jesus, although most people end up believing in God, all it takes to start is admitting you're not the highest power out there. Its how I got started, believing the "group conscience" of AA/NA was a power greater than me, and it worked for a while. Eventually I desired something deeper and more spiritual than that and I've since accepted Jesus. It is, however, not a religious program but a spiritual one. One of the most popular lines is "Religion is for people who don't want to go to Hell, Spirituality is for those who have been there and don't want to go back". Regardless, I didn't want to scare anybody away from the program by thinking they HAD to believe in any sort of religion or God in the traditional sense. All it takes is a belief in something greater than yourself.