If you have had pre-marital sex, are you unqualified for marriage?

[faceofbear]

Topic.

I am newly saved, and it seems as you read through the Gospel, Jesus' expectations of marriage is really high. Before I was saved, I had sexual relations and I was wondering if this means if I get married will I be an adulterer and make my wife an adulteress?

(ALSO off topic)
Is it possible that your bed becomes a master of you because you rely on it for comfort and sleep? For some reason I feel like I need to start "fasting" from my bed. So I was wondering if this could be the Lord calling me to be faithful in a small thing, or if it is just my curiosity from being newly saved.

 

[homewardbound]

Topic.

I am newly saved, and it seems as you read through the Gospel, Jesus' expectations of marriage is really high. Before I was saved, I had sexual relations and I was wondering if this means if I get married will I be an adulterer and make my wife an adulteress?

(ALSO off topic)
Is it possible that your bed becomes a master of you because you rely on it for comfort and sleep? For some reason I feel like I need to start "fasting" from my bed. So I was wondering if this could be the Lord calling me to be faithful in a small thing, or if it is just my curiosity from being newly saved.

No, it doesn't disqualify you from marriage. You were guilty of fornication, not adultery. You'll have some baggage, but nothing God's grace can't handle. Just be sure you are 100% open and honest with your future spouse about any prior intimate relationships. You owe that to her for several reasons.

No, your bed can't be your master. If you're spending too much time there, laziness might be your master.

 

[spirituality-in-Christ]

Topic.

I am newly saved, and it seems as you read through the Gospel, Jesus' expectations of marriage is really high. Before I was saved, I had sexual relations and I was wondering if this means if I get married will I be an adulterer and make my wife an adulteress?

(ALSO off topic)
Is it possible that your bed becomes a master of you because you rely on it for comfort and sleep? For some reason I feel like I need to start "fasting" from my bed. So I was wondering if this could be the Lord calling me to be faithful in a small thing, or if it is just my curiosity from being newly saved.

You are not disqualified. God's standards are very high but he wants to help people when they fail not write them off and disqualify them.

God could be asking you to sleep, for example on the floor, for a time perhaps as a test like you said about being faithful in something small. This may not be the case at all, but as you grow through the Christian life you learn to know the voice of the good shepherd (Jesus) better and better and then you recognise what he wants and expects of you.

 

[Big Country]

^^^^ That's good advice.

Congratulations on choosing life over death! I'm excited for you.

For the record, Jesus' expectations for everything are really high. As the good book says, Be Holy for I am Holy.

 

[childofGod31]

Focus on getting to know Jesus Christ personally and intimately. (Study the Bible, think about Him, meditate on verses, talk to Him, meditate on His character and actions...)
The rest of the things we do (self-imposed hardships) can ONLY do ANY good in the context of being in a very close and personal relationship with Jesus Christ. (And I don't mean the relationship where you ask Jesus to come into your heart. I mean the relationship where you daily walk with Him and daily grow in your knowledge of Him.)
If you are willing to be "obedient in little things" start with seeking His kingdom first and with devoting all your time and energy to getting to know Him. (And the rest will follow all by itself) You will be truly blessed and nothing you do THEN would be in vain.

Otherwise, it would be you doing it in your self effort and that was never blessed by God. (If you have any questions, feel free to PM me).

You were worried about not living in adultery, that's commendable. I agree with previous posters: it's ok, first, it was fornication, not adultery, (since you weren't married) and second "you weren't saved" then, and you need to go forth (and don't look back at your passed mistakes).

But there IS one thing to worry about, and it's spiritual adultery. People who are friends with the world (participate in their entertainment, in their actions) are adulterers before God. So we need to be careful and leave the things of the world. And only then can God receive a person.

2CO 6:17 "Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you."

LUK 12:31 But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

JAM 4:4 You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. 5 Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely?

(God is envious when you give your time to other things instead of Him. He loves you intensely and He wants all of you. But don't worry, He is not asking you to make your life miserable. He wants to instead give you abundant life, which is only in Him. Only in our very close relationship. When we love Him intimately and personally, it makes us happy. It's not a hardship. It's a privilege. But most people don't realize that and seek the worldly things first and their life is very unfulfilling spiritually. God has abundant life, true life. What the world has is fakes.)

And it's not only that, but whoever is running after the things of the world, is an adulterer and won't make it to heaven.

1JO 2:15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.


Jesus is the bread for the soul. In other words, when we listen to His words, then we live, then we feed our soul, then we grow into mature Christians. Jesus said: do not run after the things of this world, but instead work to find heavenly bread (which is "finging Him", drawing close to Him)

JOH 6:51 I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. ...57 Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me. 58 This is the bread that came down from heaven. Your forefathers ate manna and died, but he who feeds on this bread will live forever."

JOH 6:27 Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you.

1PE 2:2 Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation,

I wrote something that each Christian should know. Please read it here:

What are God's requirements for entering heaven:
Bible 101 • View topic - Only pure in heart will see God, how to know if your heart..

In what light to see this life:

Bible 101 • View topic - This life is very temporary!

Bible 101 • View topic - How to find abundant life in God

How to make the Bible NOT boring:

Bible 101 • View topic - The Bible becomes a living book

 

[Chris_G]

No, it doesn't disqualify you from marriage. You were guilty of fornication, not adultery. You'll have some baggage, but nothing God's grace can't handle. Just be sure you are 100% open and honest with your future spouse about any prior intimate relationships. You owe that to her for several reasons.

No, your bed can't be your master. If you're spending too much time there, laziness might be your master.

Have to agree with this. I was open and honest with my wife about my past sexual history, some of which was offensive. I confessed this to my Lord and to my wife, and all is well.