I lost my daughter

[rachelrhin0]

Hi everyone! I'm new to the forums. My name is Rachel. Last year I got pregnant for the 1st time and delivered my daughter 12 weeks too soon. She lived a tough life in the NICU for 4 long months before passing away. We never got to bring her home. She passed on 3/9/08. Two weeks later my lil brother was in a terrible car wreck and was in the hospital for 2.5 months suffering from a severe traumatic brain injury. During his hospital stay I find myself pregnant again. I loved and still love my daughter dearly. I cry from time to time but nothing like I expected I would. I miss her but know she's in a better place. I feel like I've missed the greiving stage of this pocess some how wether it be from attening so closely to my brother shortly after her passing or becoming pregnant so soon after. But now I find myself angry all the time. Not at her death but at any little thing. I find that I have a poor attitude towards a lot of things now. Rya and I are now having more problems than ever. We decided today to see a counselor. I'm hoping that we can work through some things. Has anyone here lost a child. Or even if you haven't lost a child, do you have any advice for me? Thanks in advanced!

Rachel

 

[Ariel]

Oh Rachel, I am so sorry. (((hug)))

I have lost two children to miscarriage. I know that's not quite the same as carrying a baby to term and then losing your little one. How your heart must grieve.

I just want to say to you, to confirm something you said--your little girl is alright. She is growing up in heaven with Jesus. Someday you will see her again.

Grief is a strange thing. We can put off grieving as you may have done. But sooner or later it makes itself known, and it has to be dealt with.

It may help you to know that there are stages of grief. One of them is anger. This is not uncommon when going through the grieving process.

Realize that these stages do not last forever, you do eventually move on. But while you are grieving, yes, you can have unexplained outbursts.

I am praying for you.

 

[NostalgicGranny]

I am praying for you too.

Grief is strange and you may not grieve for any two people the same. It doesn't mean that you loved one less than the other. Just that at that point in your life you are grieving in the way that you need to. So please give yourself a break. It is ok to grieve in what ever way you are comfortable with, so long as it isn't destructive to you.

 

[visionary]

God has blessed you with another one... to replace what you have lost because he knows how much you are hurting. Cry for the loss and laugh for the gain... Know you are blessed and God loves you... Take care of the man of yours for he is hurting too. Comfort one another for it is right and will help you both to heal.

 

[Savedsis]

Praying for you...God bless

 

[kaykay9.0]

Also praying for you. I'm glad you and your husband decided to see a counselor. I think most people who have lost a child could benefit from that even if you don't recognize it at first. Yes, I have a lost a child. My 16 year old son, who was our only child, was killed 7 years ago in a car accident. Since then, I have written a grief recovery type book for bereaved parents. If you would like a copy, just pm me an address where I could send you copy and I would be happy to do so. Hopefully, it might minister to you in some small way.

 

[bliz]

I am so sorry for your loss.

Grief will find it's way out, but not always in a form we are expecting or at a time we expect. I think you are very wise to seek counseling.

My mother died almost 5 years ago, but only recently, when my dad moved, did I go through all of her stuff and I have been surprised to find myself grieving her loss in a way I didn't when she died.

 

[nateboy]

PLease please please EVERYONE pray for Rachel and her family. I am on another forum with her and didn't know she had posted on this one.
Last week, she gave birth to a beautiful little girl named Hannah - born at 32 weeks. He precious little girl didn't make it. Her two angel babies are the most beautiful I have ever seen and their stories have touched so many lives. My heart breaks for this wonderful family like no other.

She has been through so much and needs all the prayers we can give her right now.

 

[fairygailie]

do still post here rachel? i lost a stillborn baby many years ago and know ALOT about grief. i was a facilitator for many years after that. also lost my mom a year ago new years eve. my dad too. he died while i was pregnant again during my 8th month.

so yea....if i can help...let me know.

 

[RyanLeeParis]

I'm terribly sorry, Rachel. There's a line in The Bible though which says it all: Job 1:21 - "Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."

 

[wildlily]

Prayed for you. God send you peace in knowing this life ends and we go beyond to heaven,we reunite.

 

[Just Believe]

I went to a Christian based greif counselor in 2007 for 3 months and she let me know that everyone goes through different stages of greif at different times.

It's ok to bounce around from feeling angry, to being in denial, and then jump back to anger. It's a process that sometimes takes a lifetime.

I don't think you've missed out on any steps of the greiving process. You're exactly where you need to be.

 

[NostalgicGranny]

I am still praying for you.