Hi there,
So something that has vexed me for an enormous amount of time, is that while sleeping on a bean bag listening to heavy metal, I awoke and uttered the words "Satan take my heart". I had no context for saying this thing, and had already previously confessed sin to God, at a Church in the inner city area (where I lived). It felt like a betrayal, as I said it and I begun to doubt myself very heavily.
What I have learned in the meantime, is that as much as I feel like saying this thing, had some importance, the truth is: I don't think for even a minute that he cared what I had said. This left me with a power vacuum, that was very hard manage. I would try all sorts of ways to reinterpret it and they would seem to make sense - "I didn't mean it" "I didn't justify it" "I didn't verify it" - but then doubt would creep back in again and I would be lost where I was again.
The truth that has started to dawn on me now, is that I may never escape the grip of those words but for my testimony. Jesus said "we will be judged even for our idle words" - I tell you that that is never more true, than when you are wrestling with the Devil, as to who is more in the truth (who is more secure in the truth). There is a lesson in this and I am happy to suffer for my brother's sake, that they see the damage their words can do, especially in this excess of what it is to trust what you live for Hell, God, Sin, Devil. It basically boils down to a twisted sense of humour, in a snare of godless entertainment.
So, just be warned. I need prayer. Maybe not all prayer, but specifically that prayer that my heart not lead me astray. I can cope in Christ - I hope this message gets to you. Don't play with the world, don't be enticed by its power. We are to encourage one another and I know I can trust you to take this message seriously. In the end, being able to depend on the faith, will deliver me - though I carry these chains in the meantime, as a reminder that God's power to come, is far greater, than anything that could snare me in this world.
God bless. Enjoy music. Redeem the time (for the days are evil).
So something that has vexed me for an enormous amount of time, is that while sleeping on a bean bag listening to heavy metal, I awoke and uttered the words "Satan take my heart". I had no context for saying this thing, and had already previously confessed sin to God, at a Church in the inner city area (where I lived). It felt like a betrayal, as I said it and I begun to doubt myself very heavily.
What I have learned in the meantime, is that as much as I feel like saying this thing, had some importance, the truth is: I don't think for even a minute that he cared what I had said. This left me with a power vacuum, that was very hard manage. I would try all sorts of ways to reinterpret it and they would seem to make sense - "I didn't mean it" "I didn't justify it" "I didn't verify it" - but then doubt would creep back in again and I would be lost where I was again.
The truth that has started to dawn on me now, is that I may never escape the grip of those words but for my testimony. Jesus said "we will be judged even for our idle words" - I tell you that that is never more true, than when you are wrestling with the Devil, as to who is more in the truth (who is more secure in the truth). There is a lesson in this and I am happy to suffer for my brother's sake, that they see the damage their words can do, especially in this excess of what it is to trust what you live for Hell, God, Sin, Devil. It basically boils down to a twisted sense of humour, in a snare of godless entertainment.
So, just be warned. I need prayer. Maybe not all prayer, but specifically that prayer that my heart not lead me astray. I can cope in Christ - I hope this message gets to you. Don't play with the world, don't be enticed by its power. We are to encourage one another and I know I can trust you to take this message seriously. In the end, being able to depend on the faith, will deliver me - though I carry these chains in the meantime, as a reminder that God's power to come, is far greater, than anything that could snare me in this world.
God bless. Enjoy music. Redeem the time (for the days are evil).
