I hate starting new threads....

[Cadillac]

But I am afraid I am gonna have to with this one.

As parents, people try to block children from offensive and negative sounds and images. You can restrict TV time, or as I know some people to do, not have a TV at home at all. You can tell a child to or not to wear this/that, say this/that, do this/that.

But will somebody tell me, what is one to do if you are at the red light and somebody pulls up in their "tricked out" (hate that word) ride with all windows down and explicit song, graphically describing some vile sexual act blaring for everybody within that ZIP code to hear.

How do you block that out? How do you explain profanities, or sexually graphic lyrics to children? I understand that at home you have some power over that, but in public?....

So, help me out.

P.S.I am not a parent, but still am conserned about some parental issues now so I would know what to do in the future.

 

[andiesmama]

Well, my daughter is only 2, but when it comes to that (and I'm sure it will), I'll just tell her that those are words that some people use but not our family, the main reason being because those words don't make God happy when we use them.

I don't plan on actually explaining what the specific words mean, I'll just tell her that those are words our family doesn't use & leave it at that.....at least that's my plan now, it'll probably change when it happens!! hehe

 

[2lplvr]

I control what is in my power to and inform my children of as much as possible beyond my control. I personally feel assaulted when I hear lyrics like that because I know what they mean. My children are aware of the fact that if they have never heard mommy or daddy say it they can probably conclude it is profanity and having discussed profanity, they understand that these are words used out of ignorance or malice and they should not follow suit. The oldest ones understand when I say "that word is really cruel and it should not be said".

 

[lucypevensie]

You're right, it can't all be blocked out at all times. So you just deal with it as it happens. You don't have to repeat the appropriate language lesson to your kids every time someone says the f-word or uses an inappropriate term. If you've told your kids that the F-word is a very bad word that should stick, even if they hear it again later. I'm not saying that we should think it's no big deal for our kids to be hearing and seeing bad things. But if you tell your kids what God says is right and wrong that tends to stick with them.

And if they ask what exactly that word means I'm pretty naive about such terminology myself, so I can ofter honestly say I don't know exactly, I just know it's not good.

 

[Melbelle]

I would pick up my cell (If I had one) and call the police and tell them that this is disturbance and get the license plate number and give it to them. Then when my son ask's I'll tell him that it's evil and that God does not approve of them words just as mommy and daddy do not approve. I will tell him that Satan is attacking and to cover there ears.

 

[alaskamolly]

I am very honest with our children and so is my husband. We let them know that those are people who are on Satan's Team (whether they know it or not) and that's what happens to people who give their lives over to anything that isn't God. Some look worse than others, but that's what happens when you let your flesh rule your way of life, instead of the Lord.


It makes a HUGE impact on them--and they also realize how "real" the battle is for the world--that we aren't just feeding them hokey Bible stories but that this thing is For Real. The world really is under siege, there really is a devil, and there really are people that are totally ruled by him.

We also do our best to communicate compassion for the people under his dominion--that they have no idea, on one level, what they are participating in and what they are missing out on (in the Lord). Satan has blinded their eyes to the truth, and they will never be set free unless we pray for them (and I mean really pray and really care, not just say some trinket prayer--heehee).


My 2 Cents, quickly typed (time to clean up the kitchen now!),
Molly

 

[LynnMcG]

Oh, you mean like the night before last when my daughter was telling me about all the bad words she hears from her aunt? How do I stop her from seeing her aunt who is a witch (and believes it's a choice my child should be able to make so she WILL tell her about it) and tells us that swearing is just a part of who she is?! Well, when Sarah tried to explain these swear words to me the other night I explained that these were bad words, which she knew already. She was truly amazed that her aunt knew so many!

It's impossible to block out the outside world (especially when part of it is related to you!). But it's so important they learn from it! We do our best to teach them right and wrong at home. Get the to church. Pray over them, pray with them, pray for them. They MUST be out in the world at some point. But my children WILL be salt and light. My daughter already preaches to the kids on the school bus and she's only in kindergarten. Can you imagine how bold she'll be in the years to come?! It's going to be so cool to see!

 

[karla]

My children are still young (4 and 2), but I am teaching them that we make choices. We choose to do this or do that and that are choices should be something that God would be proud of. We live at the bottom of a hill, at the top is a Jr. high School, and let me tell you it is appaling at how loud, rude, disprectful, and bad mouthed some of those kids are. Anyways, a bunch came down yelling at eachother and F this and F that and my daughter turned to me and said they are making abd choices right mommy. Made me feel like I was doing something right. I think from a young age children can understand what is pleasing to God and what is not. We can't keep them from all the evils of the world and I'm not sure that it would be right to. We need to teach them that there are choices to be made choices that either please God or choices that make him sad. I feel like I am raising children who will be able to discern what the right choice is and follow it. At least I hope and pray that is what will happen throughout their lives

 

[AmposGirl]

well, first of all I am the VERY PROUD owner of TWO of these so called "tricked out" vehicles. My fiance has one, a lowrider truck with hydraulics and I have a SUV with 20 inch rims on it. Personally, In my vehicle, I do not listen to this music, but in my fiances truck, he does have his two 15" speakers that fill the back cab of the truck pumping the negativity and curse words. But my daughter hears them all the time, and she knows that just because the man/woman saying these "bad words" say them in the songs does not mean that we say them. Neither myself or my fiance say curse words, even while singing the songs, and have never said them in front of her. I used to say them wayyyy before she was born, but that was in my more sinful days... But anyway, My point is that you just need to explain to your child the difference in words they should and should not say.

Andiesmama had a great point, Tell them it makes God sad when you say them and if they ask why the singer says them, Just say because they dont go to church and they dont love God.

BUT please do not direct the songs as the driver of the vehicle does not love God or whatever. Just because we listen to a kind of music or watch a certain TV show, doesn't mean we are not Christians.

karla also had a great point, teach them at a very young age what you should do/say to make God happy with you. Teach them how to make choices. Sounds like she is doing a wonderful job! My daughter will say "Granny doesn't need to say that word", or "Granny doesn't need to smoke those cigarettes, does she?" I am very proud of her!

 

[sara elizabeth]

We let them know that those are people who are on Satan's Team (whether they know it or not) and that's what happens to people who give their lives over to anything that isn't God. Some look worse than others, but that's what happens when you let your flesh rule your way of life, instead of the Lord.


It makes a HUGE impact on them--and they also realize how "real" the battle is for the world--that we aren't just feeding them hokey Bible stories but that this thing is For Real. The world really is under siege, there really is a devil, and there really are people that are totally ruled by him.

I can see how this would make a very big impact on them. It sounds kinda strong, but it really does tell it like it is.

Our children are our most precious possession. We should gaurd their innocence as carefully as we do their physical safety. To me, this would mean not purposely exposing them to anything unclean. Those kind of words have a way of sticking in a child's mind.

 

[Zoomer]

It's impossible to shelter our children from every bad thing in the outside world. It's our job to prepare them as Christians to face the outside world.

 

[alaskamolly]

I think there needs to be a mixture of both. I mean, you don't go throw plants out of a greenhouse until they are ready to face the elements "full-time," you know. A lot of parents just chuck their children out there and say, "Good Luck!" Not wise parenting!!!


But at the same time, if we don't tell them what goes on in the world, WHO WILL? The world will--and then the world will also define it for them. So we beat the world to the punch, and we define sin correctly.

My oldest, who is 6, already knows about Christian's being persecuted and tortured in other countries (she's known about that for a long time, actually), and similar things. In fact, just in this last month or two she's learned about abortion and about the Nazi party and what they did. I mean, I don't go into a play-by-play detail, but I don't spare the basics either, if you know what I mean. The conversations just came up naturally--like all good ones do--and the discussion just kind of went to those areas...and so I went ahead and approached the subjects.

I am always very very careful to put the blame where blame is due: sin's power in the world, and the Enemy's power over those enslaved by sin. God is the one who sets us free from ourselves--without Him, we've all got Hitler living in us.

My three year old knows all about the Devil--"I not on the devil's team, I on God's team--like my Daddy!" He says fiercefully. We do not shy away from letting them know that the Devil wants to destroy them, but that the Lord is a mighty warrior and that the Devil cannot beat the Lord.



I just think the battle really is for real--there really is a War going on--this isn't some sweet little Christian game we're playing--it's life and death. If our eyes could be opened to see the spiritual realm around us, I think we'd all get about 100% more serious in our parenting than we are (and I'm speaking for myself there!).


I like how one Christian author said that the reason we are so drawn to fairy tales and to the Lord of the Rings trilogy and to Braveheart and other such stories is simply becuase they are just a picture of what's really going on around us all the time. When we wake up and realize how we are truly LIVING IN an adventure (on a much grander scale than those stories), that there really ARE orcs that are after us and our children, that there really IS a battle being waged, and when we realize the stakes are so high...we will be VERY careful to armor our children in truth and teach them how to fight.



Warm Regards,
Molly

BTW--we don't have "tricked out" cars where I live, and I wasn't calling anyone "not a Christian" who has one--I was simply explaining what I do when blatant sin is paraded in front of my little lambs.

 

[Busybee]

My children are aware of the fact that if they have never heard mommy or daddy say it they can probably conclude it is profanity and having discussed profanity, they understand that these are words used out of ignorance or malice and they should not follow suit. The oldest ones understand when I say "that word is really cruel and it should not be said".

and my daughter is the exact same way. I've taught her that God doesn't like stuff like that.

When we get into the car now, she'll very seriously get upset if the radio isn't on the Christian music we listen too. It's cute really. I haven't forced it on her, but it's what mommy listens too during the day and in the car. She loves singing along about Jesus.

She's also the same way about tv. Just last night she brought me the remote and told me to turn that ugly word cartoon that was about to come on. A station my husband had been watching.

 

[AmposGirl]

Let me go back and clarify something. I was reading over each response and everyones resopnse, then my own... I am not saying, which it did sound like, that the words being used in the songs are alright, as long as you teach your children they are wrong. The words are wrong and the songs are pretty bad, BUT at the same time, You have to teach your children to be ready for the real world. So, Just take that oppertunity to teach them the aspects of what you as Chrstian parents and what God would want them to do. They will listen. My point was that you should not blame the "tricked out" vehicle with the offensive language for bringing these words up. If it wasn't that, it would be something else. There will be a time when they will ask, whether it be at school (if they attend) or at church, becuase their are hypocrits in churches as well. I know the first time I ever saw a man in the church standing outside smoking a cigar, I was devestated and confused. So, Just be ready to teach them each and every oppertunity you have.

 

[andiesmama]

I agree with Stephanie...using all opportunities as teaching examples is great...

Molly, I loved your 3 y.o.'s quote about being on God's team like Daddy...too cutie!!

 

[jenelis]

It's impossible to shelter our children from every bad thing in the outside world. It's our job to prepare them as Christians to face the outside world.

BRAVO!

I agree. I have a 6-year-old in first grade and she faces things daily that I would prefer she not ever have to deal with.

I see my role as one to show her what I expect as part of our decision to chose God and the path we believe he wants us to take. I have taught her that others may not make the same choices and that's between them and God.

TRUST ME... she's heard the *F* word, but I think God *D* it is the worst one she hears frequently. She has asked pint-blank what the *F* word means and I told her it was a bad word-- kind of like calling someone or something ugly... and to think how she'd feel if someone called her ugly-- so that's why we don't say ANY bad words.

 

[Sharae]

Hmmmm - yes, this is a sticky one! My kids are older now, 15, 12 & 12, and so thankfully we're past the "shock-that's-a naughty-word" stage, but when they were younger we tried hard to teach them, most importantly, that we live for Jesus. I remember painting a word picture for them once when they had heard a particularly foul barrage of words - I told them that our words and our voices are for praising God with, and if we dirty them with ugly words and sounds it was kind of like drinking clean water out of a dirty cup. That seemed to capture their attention and they didn't want to make themselves dirty like that. Once they got older and understood what the words meant, it was easier for them to understand that some things are simply inappropriate or disrespectful to say, and that the problem is really with the attitude behind the words, and not the words themselves. .............here is where it gets a bit tricky. Bad language is not always necessarily a choice. Our current next-door neighbour has a 3 or 4 year son who has probably never heard his parents (or their friends) speak without punctuating their sentences with some of the worst words I've ever heard. So, in casual conversation or playing games the little guy drops his F-bombs, C-bombs and every other sort of 'bombs' without any idea that they may be inappropriate. We've always tried to help our kids not judge others for their lanuage (since we don't know where they've come from or what they've lived through), but to pray for them, that an opportunity would present itself for them to learn that there is a better way to talk / live when you become friends with God. The sad thing is that once heard, those words have a way sticking like glue! How often I've had to choke back a 'naughty word' that just springs to mind when I get a fright and get mad!

 

[Cadillac]

Ok, here is another question, cause you all know by now I hate starting new threads.

When your children ask you where babies come from, what do you tell them?

 

[AmposGirl]

LOL You should start a new thread for tha one. not many people will look at this one for a new questions.

But my daughter has asked and we have just said their mommys tummys. BUt she is only 3, so she doesn't really understand the whole concept yet. But when she is old enough, i will surely tell her, not sparing any details. LOL

 

[Busybee]

Ok, here is another question, cause you all know by now I hate starting new threads.

When your children ask you where babies come from, what do you tell them?

My daughter is 4. Her questions have consisted so far of

Where did Hailey (the baby) come from and how did she get in your tummy? I told her that God help mommy and daddy put her in there.

She also wanted to know how she got out of my tummy. After I stumbled around a bit searching for an answer, she started laughing and told me "your tu tu". Our good word for private area.

Well I'm not going to lie to her, she's already figured it out (I assume from when I watched babystory on tv even though they blur out everything and she was 3 at the time lol). So I just said yea and left it at that. She was content with that answer.

Until she gets older and those answers don't satisfy her, I won't be volunteering any new info to her