i cant forget her

[GOD bless you]

i was in love with the pastor's daugther, we were friends but i wanted something more, doing that i lust after her, and tried to be with her anytime, i end up creeping her out and making a fool of myself, this made me rage and i stopped talking to her and her family, and eventually distancing myself from the church i was going, one year later, i cant forget her, failed my classes, failed the Lord, failed the church, became more cold towards everyone and idk what to do, im doing some things to get right with the people i failed and return to my original church, but im still feeling love for her, and i want that to stop, i really want some advices from a christian perspective, im 19 years old

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

i was in love with the pastor's daugther, we were friends but i wanted something more, doing that i lust after her, and tried to be with her anytime, i end up creeping her out and making a fool of myself, this made me rage and i stopped talking to her and her family, and eventually distancing myself from the church i was going, one year later, i cant forget her, failed my classes, failed the Lord, failed the church, became more cold towards everyone and idk what to do, im doing some things to get right with the people i failed and return to my original church, but im still feeling love for her, and i want that to stop, i really want some advices from a christian perspective, im 19 years old

that's tough man. I want to say that as someone who deals with an obsessive mind about literally anything I completely understand. I think it's important for you to think of the realities so that your mind can have closure. Realize that she didn't reflect the same feelings towards you and that any further pursuing her is like trying to go to a dead end, it just ends. Now once you've realized that know your worth, even spend time in the dead end and get closure and realize you are still valuable and there is someone out there for you just because it's not this one person does not mean there aren't others out there that would feel the same to you. Know you are valuable to God and you are a valuable young man, and now that you know that out of respect for her and yourself turn from the dead end, get back on the road you were on before you met her, and continue on. You can reconcile yes but don't force anything, sometimes it's better to leave those things alone.

Look man definitely i have been there where there's a girl i've obsessed over and i hated myself for it. Don't do that, sometimes the thought of them may return but pay it no mind. You need to know your value and that you will find someone. Just because this person doesn't like you doesn't mean you won't find someone else, and you are young you're only 19 don't stress if you haven't found someone yet. Find who you are and when you have that self confidence that whether single or in a relationship you will do well then you have achieved walking in that self confidence. I remember when I started being in serious relationships was when I really had a firm foundation in my relationship with God at the age of 25. He provided me with what I needed and then people wanted to be with me. Life is not perfect but as long as you are close to God I am 100% certain God will give you what you need. I've seen a post of a woman who prayed for a man for 10 years and God finally provided that for her. Do not give up. God provided a woman for me when I was 28 and we got married. It is possible. Don't give up

 

[GOD bless you]

Don't give up

Thanks brother, im glad to know people who had the same issues as me, this is very warming to hear

 

[Maria Billingsley]

i was in love with the pastor's daugther, we were friends but i wanted something more, doing that i lust after her, and tried to be with her anytime, i end up creeping her out and making a fool of myself, this made me rage and i stopped talking to her and her family, and eventually distancing myself from the church i was going, one year later, i cant forget her, failed my classes, failed the Lord, failed the church, became more cold towards everyone and idk what to do, im doing some things to get right with the people i failed and return to my original church, but im still feeling love for her, and i want that to stop, i really want some advices from a christian perspective, im 19 years old

I'm not sure what you did to " creep her out". It sounds like you were not honest about your feelings that resulted in an extreamly uncomfortable situation. Your self focus of lust shows lack of real love and concern for her. What ever you did it requires a deep honest apology. Then, I would suggest you stop blaming her for your failures. This is now becoming an obsession. This is sinful behavior.
Go back to your first love Jesus Christ of Nazareth so that He fills you with His Holy Spirit instead of the antics of the adversary's temptations. He will help you. Prayers for you.
Blessings.

 

[GOD bless you]

I'm not sure what you did to " creep her out". It sounds like you were not honest about your feelings that resulted in an extreamly uncomfortable situation. Your self focus of lust shows lack of real love and concern for her. What ever you did it requires a deep honest apology. Then, I would suggest you stop blaming her for your failures. This is now becoming an obsession. This is sinful behavior.
Go back to your first love Jesus Christ of Nazareth so that He fills you with His Holy Spirit instead of the antics of the adversary's temptations. He will help you. Prayers for you.
Blessings.

Amen, thank you

 

[Jonaitis]

I know this may be uncomfortable for you, but if you are currently attending a church, have you tried talking to your elders? You should seek the counsel and guidance of the shepherd of the flock concerning such personal issues, that is what they are there for. They are there to look out for your spiritual well-being and to provide assistance in private matters.

 

[GOD bless you]

I know this may be uncomfortable for you, but if you are currently attending a church, have you tried talking to your elders? You should seek the counsel and guidance of the shepherd of the flock concerning such personal issues, that is what they are there for. They are there to look out for your spiritual well-being and to provide assistance in private matters.

i will try to do it, thanks, do you think the age of the elder matters?

 

[FPhelps]

i was in love with the pastor's daugther, we were friends but i wanted something more, doing that i lust after her, and tried to be with her anytime, i end up creeping her out and making a fool of myself, this made me rage and i stopped talking to her and her family, and eventually distancing myself from the church i was going, one year later, i cant forget her, failed my classes, failed the Lord, failed the church, became more cold towards everyone and idk what to do, im doing some things to get right with the people i failed and return to my original church, but im still feeling love for her, and i want that to stop, i really want some advices from a christian perspective, im 19 years old

your human, not stone, forgive yourself about that incident. Dont dwell on it!

 

[Joined2krist]

Lust is sinful. I think you should ask God for forgiveness and pray for peace

 

[FPhelps]

Lust is sinful. I think you should ask God for forgiveness and pray for peace

he didnt do much anyway, i disagree completely.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

Lust is sinful. I think you should ask God for forgiveness and pray for peace

While lust is a sin i feel he was not intending to lust, and everyone has crushes. It takes maturity and time to learn to be attracted to someone without lust, but when they are struggling it might be difficult for them to hear they are lusting.

That being said i commend you for saying what is not always easy to say to others. im not saying your wrong or right about them lusting, i guess i can see both sides. On one there is a crush, on the other there is possibility of lust, its a balance to walk the straight and narrow in the end Jesus will help us

 

[FPhelps]

28 But let a man examine himself ! Its not our role to be examining the lives of other people, its our job to be examining ourselves

 

[biblelesson]

i was in love with the pastor's daugther, we were friends but i wanted something more, doing that i lust after her, and tried to be with her anytime, i end up creeping her out and making a fool of myself, this made me rage and i stopped talking to her and her family, and eventually distancing myself from the church i was going, one year later, i cant forget her, failed my classes, failed the Lord, failed the church, became more cold towards everyone and idk what to do, im doing some things to get right with the people i failed and return to my original church, but im still feeling love for her, and i want that to stop, i really want some advices from a christian perspective, im 19 years old

We all have gone through this. I have learned it was not that I could not let go so much as my shame for acting a fool. That is what drove me to want to set it right so I would not be seen as a fool. It’s just your pride. If I can suggest something: get a journal and write about your own feelings of shame and guilt and how you might be feeling rejected and why. Pray for the Holy Spirit’s guidance as you write. Do this in private and keep your journal in a safe place. Some journals have locks. Continue daily for about an hour until the Holy Spirit Heals you. Don’t forget to pray and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you just as you start to write. The Holy Spirit will guide you!

 

[biblelesson]

Lust is sinful. I think you should ask God for forgiveness and pray for peace

You sound like Job’s friends. We are forgiven in Christ. There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus.

 

[anetazo]

I had similar thoughts. Sometimes i day dream about what would happen if I asked out particular girl. The big picture is Luke 9:62. We as Christian people must stay focused on serving God. That's why we study the bible and plant seeds for God. Thiers lost souls in the world, who need help. We must stay connected to reality and not fanasty land. Peace.

 

[Joy]

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