Hyphenated last names

[RedPonyDriver]

I kept my last name when I married. All my professional certifications are with that name...so I am C. I. M-S. Latinos hyphenate. I am married to D. L. R. His last name is German. I could have changed mine to S-R.
It has nothing to do with feminism and everything to do with the colossal headache of changing my name.

 

[LinkH]

Retaining a last name doesn't have to be ideologically motivated. For women in certain careers, there can be an economic motivation. I've heard of a dentist who built a brand under her maiden name and wanted to keep it. Some actresses also choose to keep their names. I've heard of academics doing this, too, since it would be hard to realize works published under their maiden name and married name are from the same scholar.

In these cases, though, I don't see why a name change would hurt. Actresses can have stage names that aren't their legal names can't they? A dentist could keep her maiden name on the door, change it to a middle name and change her legal paperwork. She could use her maiden name in the name of an LLC or DBA. I don't know how they set those up legally. I don't see why it would matter if readers could connect pubs to academics. An assistant prof going up for tenure could just submit maiden name pubs along with married name pubs and explain it if her coworkers didn't already know she'd married. Is there any reason that it is important for people to know you wrote something other than to get tenure, full professor, etc?

 

[mkgal1]

Sounds like your trying to rationalize the extremist feminist view

"Extremist feminist views"? That's what it's called when a woman doesn't change her name after marriage (just like her husband doesn't)? What makes that so "extreme"? How is it hurtful?

Like Verve said, why does it even matter? I don't see VG as "rationalizing"......but explaining (and giving excellent reasons for why a woman doesn't change her name. Why does she need to "rationalize" that, anyway? Do you believe she has some hidden reason she doesn't truly want to disclose and her explanations were excuses (b/c that's what "rationalizing" means)? They sounded like practical and genuine reasons to me.

I think it's a silly thing to be mad over. I'm pretty traditional and from the South, but I didn't change my name for a long time after I was married. It was mainly because of my profession and the name I was known by in my career, but eventually I did legally change my name to my husband's. I was already socially using his last name. He really didn't care either way. He knows I love him and that I will continue to no matter what my last name happens to be. I felt loved on having his support for whatever I chose to do. I chose him in marriage and in life and that is evidenced by my actions each and every day; not soley by my last name. A rose by any other name will smell as sweet.

I agree (it's a silly thing to be mad over). I also agree that love isn't demonstrated by whether or not a wife takes her husband's name (or not).

 

[Larniavc]

Its just part of the devils plan to create as much chaos as he can in order to split a splinted society up even more.

How much chaos was fermented when I conjoined my sir name with my wife's sir name?

 

[mkgal1]

How much chaos was fermented when I conjoined my sir name with my wife's sir name?

I'm sure that spun the earth out of control for a bit there.

 

[mkgal1]

For the record----even if it *is* about feminism.....doesn't that just mean that neither the husband nor the wife have to go through the hassle (and expense) of changing their names (fair and equal treatment)? How is that so "ebil"?

 

[Larniavc]

I'm sure that spun the earth out of control for a bit there.

Truly.

Even worse, I have a double barrelled first name! I'm greedy for hyphens.

 

[Larniavc]

For the record----even if it *is* about feminism.....doesn't that just mean that neither the husband nor the wife have to go through the hassle (and expense) of changing their names (fair and equal treatment)? How is that so "ebil"?

My wife an I had to jump through multiple hoops to get our names hyphenated. Institutions seemed to have a mental block about the fact that the husband would also want to change his name.

Even six years later my work place intranet won't let me change my name.

 

[ScottA]

Hoping to get both male and female perspectives, but I will say I am more of a traditionalist and spoke to my now wife about this well before I popped the question, but why do people do hyphenated last names?

I was always taught, being from the South I guess, that the woman would take her husband's last name and then move her last name to be her middle name. My wife on the other hand legally kept her full name and just added my last name to the end of hers, but officially, on paper at least, her last name is not hyphenated and was changed to mine. Just curious about people's thought process around this.

It is for the same reason that the lineage in the Bible is primarily of males.

The model we have from scripture should be honored as correct for all the right reasons: Taking the man's last name is a demonstration of "coming under" the authority of God. This is a practice of doing what is right by God, that we can either participate in or turn against. The meaning is elaborated upon in the marriage of Christ to His bride, the church, as becoming "One" (as opposed to, together but not one).

Hyphenated names, means: Together, but separate, not One.

 

[mkgal1]

My wife an I had to jump through multiple hoops to get our names hyphenated. Institutions seemed to have a mental block about the fact that the husband would also want to change his name.

Even six years later my work place intranet won't let me change my name.

That's aggravating. I wonder if it's that difficult for everyone to change their name where you work?

 

[Larniavc]

That's aggravating. I wonder if it's that difficult for everyone to change their name where you work?

We have a clunky intranet in the NHS where innovation is the stuff of a madman's dream.

 

[mkgal1]

The model we have from scripture should be honored as correct for all the right reasons

There are a lot of models in the Bible that are about culture of that time, and not necessarily how God would want things. I think it's wise that we are able to discern what's culture and what's God's desire for redemption and His counter-cultural ways.

 

[Larniavc]

Hyphenated names, means: Together, but separate, not One.

Dunno about your judgement on my wife and mine relationship parameters. We see ourselves as a team and that is perfect for us.

We call ourselves 'Team Paws'.

 

[ScottA]

There are a lot of models in the Bible that are about culture of that time, and not necessarily how God would want things. I think it's wise that we are able to discern what's culture and what's God's desire for redemption and His counter-cultural ways.

I gave the biblical precedence.

 

[ScottA]

Dunno about your judgement on my wife and mine relationship parameters. We see ourselves as a team and that is perfect for us.

We call ourselves 'Team Paws'.

And that is "perfect" for someone who does not wish to represent God. Have it your way.

 

[HannahT]

It is for the same reason that the lineage in the Bible is primarily of males.

The model we have from scripture should be honored as correct for all the right reasons: Taking the man's last name is a demonstration of "coming under" the authority of God. This is a practice of doing what is right by God, that we can either participate in or turn against. The meaning is elaborated upon in the marriage of Christ to His bride, the church, as becoming "One" (as opposed to, together but not one).

Hyphenated names, means: Together, but separate, not One.

That's a bit of stretch. You are more than welcome to your opinion, but the bible says the two become one in marriage. It says nothing of last names. I have NO idea what Mary and Joseph's last name was - nor Moses or any of the other people in the bible. Surnames started in medieval Europe, and so that would mean - according the current opinion - everyone was separate not one. Makes no sense. We all know that isn't so. As humans started to travel more you needed to learn to distinguish people, and so you could be John from a town or John the (insert occupation), or John so and so's son.. If you were predominate? It changed again.

We have the same name, although we did discuss prior to our wedding. It was also due to professional reasons. I didn't mind changing mine, but I did tease him about giving me one back...if we had a male child. My son has my father's name now. Thrilled my father to death! We didn't tell him until after he was born. So, our son has both of our names - his last name is the same as ours.

Some cultures take the male name, some cultures keep their own, and yes I have even heard of cultures where you take the female name. They are all one in marriage.

Learning about how last names - or surnames came about is pretty interesting to read about. WELL, if you like history that is. I do. It's also interesting that in this day and age some people don't even have last names at all.

 

[ScottA]

That's a bit of stretch. You are more than welcome to your opinion, but the bible says the two become one in marriage. It says nothing of last names. I have NO idea what Mary and Joseph's last name was - nor Moses or any of the other people in the bible. Surnames started in medieval Europe, and so that would mean - according the current opinion - everyone was separate not one. Makes no sense. We all know that isn't so. As humans started to travel more you needed to learn to distinguish people, and so you could be John from a town or John the (insert occupation), or John so and so's son.. If you were predominate? It changed again.

We have the same name, although we did discuss prior to our wedding. It was also due to professional reasons. I didn't mind changing mine, but I did tease him about giving me one back...if we had a male child. My son has my father's name now. Thrilled my father to death! We didn't tell him until after he was born. So, our son has both of our names - his last name is the same as ours.

Some cultures take the male name, some cultures keep their own, and yes I have even heard of cultures where you take the female name. They are all one in marriage.

Learning about how last names - or surnames came about is pretty interesting to read about. WELL, if you like history that is. I do. It's also interesting that in this day and age some people don't even have last names at all.

You are speaking of life in the world, from our perspective. But history is rather His story...and if His word does not leave you with the take-home-message that the biblical lineage of God's children is "named" by the names of men, for that very reason...then you should read it again.

 

[HannahT]

You are speaking of life in the world, from our perspective. But history is rather His story...and if His word does not leave you with the take-home-message that the biblical lineage of God's children is "named" by the names of men, for that very reason...then you should read it again.

Actually, we were speaking of last names - or rather the history of the surnames. That was the subject - surnames. If you read the read the subject line again? It more about hyphenated last names - or surnames.

As I said Mary didn't have a last name. She didn't need a last name, nor did Joseph...and we still grasped the lineage you speak of. His story is the same without them. So, I'm not sure what you point is. It really make no sense.

 

[ScottA]

Actually, we were speaking of last names - or rather the history of the surnames. That was the subject - surnames. If you read the read the subject line again? It more about hyphenated last names - or surnames.

As I said Mary didn't have a last name. She didn't need a last name, nor did Joseph...and we still grasped the lineage you speak of. His story is the same without them. So, I'm not sure what you point is. It really make no sense.

You're letting all of that obscure the simple matter of names and what they [should] mean to anyone who cares what God has to say. The precedent for all that mumbo jumbo is God handing out names, establishing a marriage of oneness, and listing out His children after their father.

None of what you are saying has any relevance to the matter of precedence. On the contrary, everything I have offered...is in complete alignment with the matter of precedence.

 

[HannahT]

No I'm not obscuring anything. They didn't need surnames at that time to reach your conclusion. If it wasn't need then - its not needed now. I believe Joseph and Mary were one without it. According to your opinion - they were not. In marriage he (God) brings the oneness to the couple. That is the only true name they need for that to happen.

So, on the contrary - you sir - are handing out the mumbo jumbo as you call it.

God's ways do not change, and yet according to you? It seems they do. Surnames is what is modern. Lineage has always been there with or without the surname.