How would you label these beliefs?

[cloudyday2]

Right now my account says "atheist" (partly because I don't know how to change it). I like calling myself an atheist, because it makes me feel smart, but my beliefs don't qualify as atheism.

I know that I should be an atheist, but I also know that I am not an atheist. I think God exists, and maybe Jesus exists too somehow. I think the Bible and Christianity is 99.9% malarkey, but God apparently responds to Christians in spite of their errors. I suspect the historical Jesus was not a very nice person and is probably completely unrelated to any actual Jesus that exists with God.

Mainly, God seems to answer prayers and interact. I can't dismiss these things even though I know that I should. If anything I have more faith in God that I ever had in the past while at the same time I have less faith in the theology of Christianity. I don't consider myself a seeker and I have no interest in any religion except Christianity. Christianity is my native religion, and it is fun to discuss.

So I don't know how to label myself (even if I knew how to change the label in my account which I don't LOL)

 

[paul1149]

I know that I should be an atheist

God seems to answer prayers and interact. I can't dismiss these things even though I know that I should.

Just wondering why you think you "should" be an atheist, when your beliefs don't follow suit. What kind of pressure causes that?

 

[Job8]

I don't consider myself a seeker and I have no interest in any religion except Christianity. Christianity is my native religion, and it is fun to discuss.

You could label yourself as "ALMOST PERSUADED" and contact the moderators to help you with the technicalities.

 

[dms1972]

One has to ask the moderators to change it to something else. I was looking for it in my account settings myself a while back, before the update users could change it themselves.

 

[Haasrecht]

I would describe that as 'undecided.' It seems to be a sort of collection of thoughts rather than a set of beliefs that can be labeled.

 

[cloudyday2]

Just wondering why you think you "should" be an atheist, when your beliefs don't follow suit. What kind of pressure causes that?

It's not peer pressure. I have some minor mental illnesses that distort my perceptions (mostly depression). I can't simply believe what seems right based on my perceptions. I must sanity-check. So that is the pressure.

 

[cloudyday2]

I would describe that as 'undecided.' It seems to be a sort of collection of thoughts rather than a set of beliefs that can be labeled.

That is true. I see myself as several different people that disagree. The intellectual part of me is settled on atheism. That is the part of me that usually types posts on forums. Other parts of me cling to belief in God. I don't expect them to ever agree.

 

[cloudyday2]

One has to ask the moderators to change it to something else. I was looking for it in my account settings myself a while back, before the update users could change it themselves.

Thanks, that is how I remember it too. I was looking for that screen, and could not find it. I wasn't sure if I was missing it or if it was gone.

 

[cloudyday2]

You could label yourself as "ALMOST PERSUADED" and contact the moderators to help you with the technicalities.

Thanks. I'm not sure if "almost persuaded" is accurate, but maybe some other label like "inconsistent".

 

[dms1972]

Maybe "Honest"?


I don't think i am the best person to advise here however.

 

[cloudyday2]

Sometimes I have thought about calling myself some kind of Christian again. When I used to call myself a Christian (I was raised as a Christian), I had doubts about the existence of God. Now I have fewer doubts about the existence of God (although I am uncertain), but I have almost no confidence in most Christian teachings. I don't think any other religion is correct, and I don't think those things matter much anymore. I'm very apathetic about religion. I'm definitely not at all "spiritual" LOL

 

[dms1972]

I don't mean to take back what I said by my edit. I do find things difficult myself. I am probably somewhere in the existenialist camp, or have been.

I wondered a bit when much younger did I have a sensus divinitas, (a kind of sense, or intuition of there being a God) - then I became more athiestic and nolonger had that sense, and concluded I need to choose to believe their is a God, so I am not sure where that puts me.

 

[rockytopva]

So I don't know how to label myself (even if I knew how to change the label in my account which I don't LOL)

But go thou thy way till the end be: for thou shalt rest, and stand in thy lot at the end of the days. - Daniel 12:13

I believe that we are all unique creatures. And that we will all stand in our lot at the end of days. I have often thought that there may be millions of lots to categorize people in and they will stand in their group. I would say to pray that the Lord will lead you to a congregation that you will be happy to stand in judgement with. When the Lord shows you those paths then you can change your icon.

28 But Paul cried with a loud voice, saying, Do thyself no harm: for we are all here.
29 Then he called for a light, and sprang in, and came trembling, and fell down before Paul and Silas,
30 And brought them out, and said, Sirs, what must I do to be saved?
31 And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house. - Acts 16

In Acts 16 Paul told the jailer to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and he would be saved. So salvation in itself is very easy. You can get saved right there in front of your computer merely by calling out and believing on the Lord Jesus Christ. You then can change your status to Christian until the Lord leads you to a specific denomination.

 

[paul1149]

It's not peer pressure. I have some minor mental illnesses that distort my perceptions (mostly depression). I can't simply believe what seems right based on my perceptions. I must sanity-check. So that is the pressure.

Ok, thanks. That gives me some perspective. I couldn't quite understand the setting behind the question. It's a good thing to check your beliefs and perceptions. This is what the Bereans did in Acts 17.11, and they were commended for it.

I like calling myself an atheist, because it makes me feel smart...

I suspect the historical Jesus was not a very nice person and is probably completely unrelated to any actual Jesus that exists with God....

I don't consider myself a seeker and I have no interest in any religion except Christianity. Christianity is my native religion, and it is fun to discuss.

There are a few observations I can make. The first is about a profoundly distorted apprehension of who Jesus is and what He is like. The Jesus in the Bible is the most compassionate person you will ever meet. It is a compassion rooted in truth, not mere sentiment, so your comment about Him not being "nice" could have some merit, depending on how you define the term. While Jesus someday will judge the world in righteousness, His main purpose is to save what was otherwise hopelessly lost, not to condemn. That in my view is pretty "nice".

The second pertains to not being a seeker. Jesus promises that all who seek, find. But if you won't seek, then what do you suppose you will find? It's simple math.

The third is about the lure of atheism. I was there once, and I would agree that it does appeal to intellectual pride. But how vain and stupid I was back then, and life wasted no time in bringing that lesson home. When I was finally broken, I very quickly became a seeker myself, and desperately so. Christianity wasn't on the radar even then, but once it appeared there was no remotely worthy competition.

I would encourage you to take Christianity off the cultural shelf you have relegated it to. Dust it off and take a good objective look at it - at what it really says, not at what you were taught or come to believe. I am certain you will find some major surprises.

As to your question, I would suggest you give a thoughtful read to the parable of the sower and its ensuing explanation. You'll find it in Mt 13. This queen of the parables is the revealer of hearts. Find your condition there and you will know what you need to attend to.

If you enjoy discussing Christianity, that's an ok thing. But if you begin to look into it for the purpose of finding out who Jesus really was and what He did for you, that's a far better thing. There is a reason so many throughout history point to Him and claim a radically changed life.

 

[dms1972]

I always seem to be recommending books - and I read the OPs comments about christian theology. I went the theology road for some reason (even though people told me not to). I've been struggling with faith in respect to the giving up my self-reliance, self-security. But systematic theology doesn't always help in that case.

I got to the point a couple of times of almost throwing theology books. Under this and long before this I believe doubts about the Bible had crept into my mind also.

Everyones struggles are different, but I wanted to suggest a book, that doesn't contain a lot of heavy theology and controversy and which might be helpful to the OP.

Its called

Faith and Understanding - Howard Taylor.

If its something you have read and not found helpful, then I apologise for mentioning it again, and hope you'll find other material, or someone to speak to better suited to where you are at.

Be careful as to what you read and I'd suggest avoid stuff heavy on controversy. Perhaps over 90% of what I read in books has little or nothing to do with my own difficulties, and sometimes has added to them. That not to say there are no helpful books out there. But getting into all the different christian debates on this or that isn't always the best way to learn.

 

[ViaCrucis]

Agnostic seems like a good fit. I think Agnosticism runs a whole spectrum between Theism and Atheism. One could be Agnostic very close to the Atheist side of the spectrum, which might describe where you are at; I'd also argue that one can also be an Agnostic Theist and an Agnostic Atheist. It's a big category, and seems to fit here.

-CryptoLutheran

 

[seashale76]

I call this deism. That's what I was for a long time. I had a very love/hate relationship with Christianity. I wasn't quite as apathetic as you claim to be though. I actively read about, researched, and attended services of other belief systems during that time. As much as I hated Christianity at one point, it was the person of Christ that brought me back to even considering it again.

 

[dms1972]

Agnostic seems like a good fit. I think Agnosticism runs a whole spectrum between Theism and Atheism.

You are right there are a variety of agnostic positions and attitudes. Agnosticism is quite a complex topic. The question of God approached philosophically has become an incredibly complex one over the last 500 years or longer. Its not always a philosophic issue either sometimes it can be attitudinal.

I think some experience of cognitive disonance is common. I'd guess most people experience it, including scientists in their work. It means that a current way of looking at, or thinking about things no longer comprehends all the data.

Josef Pieper has written a very good treatise called Faith, Hope, Love - I've been reading it on and off for a while. However his approach and language is a bit alien to the tradition I grew up in.

 

[cloudyday2]

I call this deism. That's what I was for a long time. I had a very love/hate relationship with Christianity. I wasn't quite as apathetic as you claim to be though. I actively read about, researched, and attended services of other belief systems during that time. As much as I hated Christianity at one point, it was the person of Christ that brought me back to even considering it again.

Can you describe what you mean by the "person of Christ" that brought you back? Do you mean the parables and admirable character traits portrayed in the gospels or something else?

 

[cloudyday2]

Agnostic seems like a good fit. I think Agnosticism runs a whole spectrum between Theism and Atheism. One could be Agnostic very close to the Atheist side of the spectrum, which might describe where you are at; I'd also argue that one can also be an Agnostic Theist and an Agnostic Atheist. It's a big category, and seems to fit here.

-CryptoLutheran

I also have some sort of psychological problems that make thinking about religion very difficult. I was diagnosed with brief psychotic disorder and delusional disorder several years ago. Here is a article about delusional disorder in my favorite source of information WIKIPEDIA!!!! ( somebody was criticizing Wikipedia in another thread but I love Wikipedia ). I do not know if I really had or continue to have delusional disorder, but it is a hard problem to treat. People with delusional disorder usually can't accept that their delusional beliefs are wrong, and they usually don't accept treatment. Somebody said that each person's brain is unique, and these psychological diagnoses are only rough categories. I suspect that whatever I have is pretty mild, but it is a problem sometimes. I don't take any medications, and I am able to fool most people into thinking I am normal
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delusional_disorder

Last night I went to sleep and woke-up 30 minutes later feeling like I had slept all night. I wanted to type something on a forum about my thoughts in hopes that somebody might have experienced something similar and be able to help me think. I couldn't organize my thoughts enough to explain what they were like. I couldn't even decide if my thoughts were strange or if I simply thought that my thoughts were strange. I just wanted to make the thoughts in my head stop. That went for about an hour or so. Finally I focused on petting my cat, and that helped my brain settle down.

Atheism is like a solid rock in stormy sea sometimes. Seeking answers seems to lead to problems for me, so I strive to be an atheist.