How to know/test God's will with regard to a specific decision

[peckaboo]

Hi,

I am brand new on this forum and was hoping for some advice as indicated in the thread title. My husband Adam and I, both in our early 20s, have been married almost a year. We were both brought up in Christian families - both sets of parents are full time missionaries - but both rebelled as teenagers / university students and have only come back to faith in the last few years. So although we both have more "head knowledge" than a lot of brand new Christians, we don't have a lot of experience in applying that to our daily life.

We've suddenly been faced with a big decision to make, in that Adam has been offered a job in Hong Kong (we currently live in the UK). We have two weeks to make the decision. We both want to do God's will, but don't know, in practical terms, how to go about doing that. We pray for wisdom, but are there biblical guidelines as to other proactive steps we should be taking? How do you know what's your own yearning for adventure/stability and what's God's voice telling you to go/stay..?

Any advice would be appreciated!

 

[Lee52]

peckaboo,
All of us have faced similar dilemma in our lives. For me, in my early days as a Christian, I had to set a fleece before the LORD, vis-a-vis the OT principle. I am a rather hard-headed, opinionated person, much to my chagrin, these days. I had to ask GOD to specifically open and close doors so that there was no doubt as to HIS will for my life.

Hong Kong would be a tough sell to me. The mission field there would be much more difficult now than it was before the Communist takeover there. You do not say what your husband's vocation is, but in all things for Christians, Christ must be the center. For new Christians, Satan seeks to redirect your energies toward financial and business rewards over service to Christ.

I am not saying that this is the case for you, but I have seen it used in the past to interfere with growing Christians.

Prayer does work. Together, you must pray for HIS will to be done in your lives. You must admit any issues in your lives that would make something out of HIS will seem more acceptable to you.

If I were you, I would ask for the LORD's alternative job offer to come in, if this job is not in HIS will. If this job is indeed HIS will for you, then no other offers will come.

In the lives of new Christians, it is a bit more difficult to know GOD's will. THAT is when GOD teaches us to listen to HIS "still small voice". (1 Kings 19).

Present your fleece to the LORD and then listen for the still small voice.

Be blessed,
Lee52

 

[peckaboo]

Thanks for your response, Lee. I've always been a little bit frightened to "lay a fleece" as it were, because of that bit where Jesus says (something like) "it's a wicked and perverse generation that asks for a sign". You prompted me to look into that verse in a little more detail, though, and I see the context and their motives for asking were different. So thanks for the advice

By way of additional information, my husband has just graduated with his architecture degree. He has received a couple other job offers from more prestigious firms in the UK, but both firms are known for expecting 50-60 hour workweeks, and we both felt that the demands of his university course had been quite hard on our new marriage and it was important for him to have some time to invest in the relationship. The firm in Hong Kong is not asking such extreme hours of him.

 

[heron]

It is still spiritual to use research and common sense while praying for answers. Read Proverbs while you are making your decision, and avoid rushing in fear of losing an opportunity.

The move itself will consume a significant amount of time. Changing bank accounts, notifying friends, transitions of housing, storing items, adjusting to equipment there...that could take a month's worth of errands.

Take a look at this page when assessing the expected hours:

Business Communication Styles in China and Successful Communication with Chinese Businesses and Colleagues :: World Business Culture

Congrats on his degree and job offers!

Look also at the potential strain on your marriage if you are not able to connect with internationals or English-speakers. Also the strain that he might endure if he is considered an outsider among other workers. The potential to advance in a prestigious local firm seems higher... and they will probably have international projects.

It's an exciting opportunity, and a great excuse to travel! Just don't be afraid to include sensible facts and personal preferences.

 

[Peripatetic]

Big decisions are tough, and we don't always get clear answers when we pray. Also, the right answer isn't always the easiest. I've made decisions that I regretted, then later came to realize that those hard times were very important chapters of my life.

I'll echo what heron said: pray, do the research, be practical, and make and informed decision.

 

[razeontherock]

It is still spiritual to use research and common sense

Congrats on your opportunities and make the most of them! (Have you really nailed down working hours and conditions at the HK offer?)

 

[tturt]

"How to Hear God's Voice in a Noisy World" by Teresa Seputis might help. It contains exercises along with the text. http://www.amazon.com/Teresa-Seputis/e/B001KJ0Y4W/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1310446776&sr=1-1

 

[peckaboo]

Thanks so much for this helpful advice It's good to get some other Christians' perspective on this.

We're still praying, but also waiting to hear more details about what exactly the project, working hours/conditions etc will be like, and trying to communicate with other expats living in Hong Kong to see what their experiences have been like.

Thanks again!

 

[heymikey80]

Probably the best way is to seek out the views of others ("counsel"). Proverbs constantly point out the value of other people's inputs.

It appears there are some serious trade-offs and concerns about investment in family in a hectic city, in comparison with remaining in familiar surroundings & culture and yet losing a lot of time to yourselves.

I would think investment in yourselves would be more difficult in an unfamiliar culture. I realize the huge work week is quite a drain on your relationship, though. It doesn't sound great in either situation.

The Hong Kong connection might work out though, if your move there is streamlined by the UK's special connections there.

Bein' 'Merican, I would probably inform the firms local to me to see if the offer in Hong Kong can leverage them away from demanding extreme hours. But I don't know how the U.K. or employers there actually deal with it, though. If it's just a "normal expectation" of the job, I'd be skeptical the situation could improve no matter what the Hong Kong offer provided. Also, the employee might not have the opportunity to advance if he isn't pulling the hours the company wants.

 

[peckaboo]

Well, we held off making any hasty decisions. In that time Adam was offered a job by another firm, but heard from other employees at that firm that they were routinely working 70-80 hour weeks! Thankfully he turned that offer down, and we continued to speak to both sets of parents, and to my sister (who's married to a Dr so also has experience of long working hours, husband being absent at all hours of the day and night etc) and kept praying that God would make it obvious to us what the right decision was. Anyway this week Adam was offered a job with a firm which is in reasonable commutable distance from where we live now, and is in an area that's not too expensive to move to if we wished. They specialise in the two fields of architecture that are most interesting to him, and he already knows another Christian guy at the firm! In addition the firm encourages their employees to join sports teams etc, and not just work all the time - they told him to expect about a 45-50 hour working week. It's perfect Thanks again for all the wise advice.

 

[ciel_perdu]

Hi Peckaboo

These are some reliable ways to know God's will. You have to be very honest when looking at them. You could have boxes beside each for yes, ?, and no. I will list them in order of importance.

Jesus Teachings

Your conscience

Direct Revelation

Godly Counsel

Circumstances

Coincidences

Desires

Miracles/signs

If you approach it with a honest heart and a willingness to hear what you don't want to hear, then you're likely to have more of a leaning one way or the other with regards to the desicion your thinking about.

Hopefully these things will help.

 

[SharonL]

You were wise in not jumping off and making fast decisions. Peace will always come with God's Will. The Holy Spirit will not lead you down the wrong path. But I would not turn away from a good job because of the demands - most people starting out always put in the hours to get ahead, that just comes with the territory. But look ahead to the future and see what direction you want and take the job that leads in that direction as long as you have peace about it.