How should young men deal with masturbation?

[Elijah Obadiah]

I don't know how to control the lusts and passions of my youth, and every day, for most of the day I face temptations at school or at the computer.

I suggest marriage as a viable option.

 

[Hardesty]

This matter is common in our society to both men and women regardless of marital status.
Knowing that as long as we are in the flesh, we will have to deal with the flesh. The Holy spirit is leading the process of sanctification in your life and it is wise to keep step with Him(Gal.5), rather than charging ahead of what he has accomplished in us so far.
Everyone will agree that scripture does speak of temperance. Often when we attempt to stop something we are soundly defeated. However, that which we cannot conquer we can learn to control. This could start by setting the number of times it happens in a week.
In exercizing temperance we develop character, so this too works together for good to those of us who love God (Rom. 8).
I also recommend spiritual work to occupy yourself: less time to wrestle with the other.
Write more music.
Never forget that you are not alone, we are all being sanctified.

 

[MatthewSwinson]

I have also delt with this problem. Just seek God for help. Ask and believe that God can free you of this burden.

 

[Yahu]

I don't see that a man releasing his seed as any more evil then a woman having her period. It causes a short period of ritual uncleanness. It is a natural function of our body which is based on hormonal levels. Managing those hormonal levels is needed to keep us from being driven by our sex drive to actually do something that is evil.

I would advise not fantasizing over another man's wife or in the violation of a virgin. By doing so in your mind is a willingness to do the act if you had the opportunity.

As a man that lost my wife many years ago, would it be sin to remember our loving relationship? IMO, no.

Many use the story of Tamar and Onan as a teaching against spilling your seed. But the problem is they have to twist the story out of context. Onan's sin was GREED. He wanted the double portion of the inheritance with his elder brother already dead without an heir. He didn't want to give his brother that heir because that child would have inherited the double portion of Judah's eldest son. He wanted the sex with his brother's wife but refused to give her a child and that was the purpose of their sexual relationship.

 

[firemountain7]

Please read this post if you want PRACTICAL and REAL advice on how to finally beat this problem.
overcoming masturbation testimony « firemountain7

 

[iamauthentic]

accountability.

find at least one person who you know is strong in the Lord and someone that you come into contact with atleast once a week. tell him you struggle with this. the most important step is exposing ur sin for what it is. once sin is exposed in the light, it can not survive. telling another person is exposing sin into the light. its hard, and uncomfortable, and embarrassing, but it is how we defeat sin. it isnt enough to put this online to a bunch of strangers. tell someone that you can trust and have a relationship with. Choose a Godly person and make sure its a man. have him keep tabs on you atleast once a week where he asks you how ur faring.

be in prayer. i trust you have repented and have come to God with this issue. keep doing that.

 

[sean michael]

I strongly suspect, as the bible states, that we will be judged by our fruits, and not by how good we are at not doing something. There aren't many sure things in life. Jesus was crystal clear on gods will for our lives, and how we help others. Masturbation is something that virtually every living creature does. I suspect if it were that important, Jesus would have said something. Jesus is searching your heart for genuine sincere love for your fellow humans in his name. He isn't counting your trips to the bathroom. I understand the guilt and shame complex. Jesus died so you wouldn't be guilty. Because you're innocent? NO, because you're guilty? He has redeemed you, and now, the devil is thine accuser. Stop helping him. Get busy living and leave the dying to the dying. Its not your element

 

[smith111]

masturbation is sexual immorality, you cannot be Holy and practice masturbation.

if you were to think of a priest and then I told you he masturbates.........would you see him as unholy ? I would

Understand the Bible is not about being fair and making your life comfortable. The Bible only allows you to marry and have intercourse but even this can be turned into an idol.

Masturbation is hard to overcome but if one is to be holy they must refrain from it because we are of a higher calling.

 

[AMR]

staff edit

Again, you have been informed about the creedal basis of this forum yet you now attempt to elevate matters to divisiveness. Please refrain from this attitude if you want to discuss, not debate, topics related to Presbyterianism.

The answer this question can be reviewed here (posted when I was serving as one of the CF Chaplains):

http://www.christianforums.com/t7501993/#post55778322
http://www.christianforums.com/t7513944/#post56129953

AMR

 

[hedrick]

To my knowledge, there's no specific Reformed doctrine of sexual holiness. Reformed folks historically have been very concerned with it, but I believe that was a common Christian approach. Similarly, today mainline Presbyterians take roughly the same approach as other mainline Christians.

Of the traditional Presbyterian standards, the only explicit treatment is in the Westminster Catechism:

Q. 139. What are the sins forbidden in the seventh commandment?
A. The sins forbidden in the seventh commandment, besides the neglect of the duties required, are, adultery, fornication, rape, incest, sodomy, and all unnatural lusts; all unclean imaginations, thoughts, purposes, and affections; all corrupt or filthy communications, or listening thereunto; wanton looks, impudent or light behavior, immodest apparel; prohibiting of lawful, and dispensing with unlawful marriages; allowing, tolerating, keeping of stews, and resorting to them; entangling vows of single life, undue delay of marriage; having more wives or husbands than one at the same time; unjust divorce, or desertion; idleness, gluttony, drunkenness, unchaste company; lascivious songs, books, pictures, dancings, stage plays; and all other provocations to, or acts of uncleanness, either in ourselves or others.

Masturbation isn't listed explicitly, but it's pretty clear that traditional Presbyterians would see it as included in that description. However many Christians today are no longer so concerned about it, and I would think that would include Presbyterians as well.

 

[sean michael]

I like how you make the distinction between natural desire, and its distortion of evil lust as Paul said, nothing is unclean of itself, til man defile it

 

[Yahu]

staff edit

Yes, and when a man does have a 'wet dream', by biblical law he was ritually unclean the remainder of the day and until he washed while women were ritually unclean for the duration of the entire period.

How many Pharisees concerned about masturbation lock up their wives and daughters during their period? A man releasing his seed is no more evil then a woman having a period. It is a normal biological function.

Anything can be turned to evil. Eat is good while gluttony is carrying it to evil. Fantasizing over violating a virgin, rape or stealing another man's wife is turning desire into lust.

You will find that Yah is commonly in the middle ground of many doctrines while extremist tend to battle each other. The demonic position is 'all sex is good' while the bondage to law camp is 'only in a legally approved, church sanctioned marriage'. Where is Yah's position? Be responsible in your sexual activity and don't harm yourself or others by your actions.

 

[AMR]

,,, many Christians today are no longer so concerned about it, and I would think that would include Presbyterians as well.

It would help if you would qualify your use of "Presbyterians" in the large to mean those from your own denomination so as to not give the impression, say, for example, that NAPARC Presbyterians would necessarily agree with you.

 

[hedrick]

If a man goes several days with no sexual behavior, as we know, he will have dreams where he will be filled with lust, become sexually aroused, and secrete semin involuntarily, nd this is all by gods design

I wouldn't use lust for that. For Jesus lust is not sexual feelings but directing them to wrong ends.

 

[LilLamb219]

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