How important...

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

Are looks? I know that we all consider looks when looking for a potential person to date, but how important should they be? I've looked through personal ads online and 9 out of 10 guys require that the girl is fit and in shape. This seems really shallow to me. What if she is just average or has a few extra pounds? Does that take away from inner beauty? Perhaps girls look for the same thing...I don't know as I don't go looking at their ads I know guys think more in the "physical" aspect of the body...but how far does that go anyway?

 

[WileyCoyote]

I'm more of a personality man than a looks man. A hottie is pretty to look at, but if she is mean spirited or is stuck on herself, she automatically becomes ugly in my eyes. I LOVE sweet women. I'll take an average looking sweetheart over a hot looking Jezebel girl anyday.

 

[Evie1980]

Yes and no... That is a complicated question as you never know what other people are attracted to and what you are attracted to. People say things like that but they may end up marrying some who you think is unattractive. When I pray about my future spouse yes I pray that he would be physically attractive to me but that is only to me. I don't really care if everyone else finds him attractive or not.

People ask questions like what type of man or woman are you looking for and you have to say tall, short, blonde, brunette etc but you can't really catergorise people like that. It is over simplifying a very complicated decision. Do I like tall people? yes my brothers are very tall. Do I like short people? Of course, I am after all 5 foot 2. Do find blondes attractive? Yes. Do I find brunettes attractive? Yes. I find many people attractive

Also, many people fear that they will get judges solely on their looks and yet they turn around and do it to others. The body imagine industry is a billion dollar industry and yet on the whole, it is only a recent problem. I watched a documentary on it once and they said it was actually the invention of the printing press that lead to body image problems. Before then, there was no mass media so women had no way to compare themselves with other women other than those around them at the time. So if you compared yourself only to your family or small network of friends you really wouldn't have any problems. Also men started at this time carrying pictures of women (known and unknown) and thus women would compare themselves to these pictures to see if them measured up to what the men around them thought was beutiful.

Sorry, I have gone off track... No I don't think the outer looks of a person is the measure that we should use in judging a person. Attractiveness goes more than skin deep. As far as these guys go I am not sure what they are expecting and if they will actually end up with what they said they wanted.... All I know is that God will enable me to be attrcted to the person He wants me to marry. My future husband many not be perfect in your eyes but he will be mighty fine in mine

 

[dvanderdeen]

I have to agree with Evie's post. Everyone is different and has their own view of what they find attractive. Also when it comes to internet dating a lot of people do write down what they think would be ideal, but their definition of what is fit and in shape can be surprising too. In my experience, when I have been asked what I look for in a girl, people actually want you to list of detailed description of looks. When I've been asked what I look for I usually don't give a physical description because I am not picky about that, instead I give a long list of personality traits and beliefs that I am looking for. A few times the people asking me told me to stop and tell them the truth. It seems that if we don't present a list of what kind of features we want, then we are lying to make ourselves look good. I've learned it's best to present something do with physical looks as well as personality if I want to be taken seriously. That doesn't mean that I will only consider someone that looks that way, it's not first on my list of priorities when looking at a potential mate.

 

[K9_Trainer]

I pretty much agree.

A guy can be handsome and sexy, but if he's arrogant and has a rotten personality or acts like a jerk, his doesn't look so good anymore.

But I do think looks are important and that it's important that you are physically attracted to your partner. And for me, a guy's physical appearance says a lot about him and how much he cares about himself. If a guy is not taking care of himself and his own body, how can I expect him to take care of me?

What's interesting is that when people place ads like that, I'm not convinced they're entirely sure they really know what they want and when they use terms like "fit" and "in shape", it puts a lot of women (who are potentially what they ARE looking for) off. You think of fit and in shape and most people think of model thin, size 0 women. Not a lot of women fit that bill. Not to mention model thin and size 0 doesn't necessarily mean they are in shape or fit. I don't know if anybody watched the second season of dancing with the stars, but they had a model in the program. She had NO muscle mass whatsoever.

 

[Mikeb85]

Being 'fit' and 'in shape' has to do with how well you take care of yourself. Anyone can be in decent shape. If someone isn't, especially at a younger age, it shows that they live an unhealthy lifestyle. Personally, I value my health and body, so I take care of myself by eating right and staying active.

 

[Inkachu]

I'm more of a personality man than a looks man. A hottie is pretty to look at, but if she is mean spirited or is stuck on herself, she automatically becomes ugly in my eyes. I LOVE sweet women. I'll take an average looking sweetheart over a hot looking Jezebel girl anyday.

*poke poke nudge nudge*

 

[Inkachu]

On a scale of 1 to 10, looks are maybe a 3 for me. Long as the guy has all his teeth and bathes regularly and doesn't have any skin infections going on lol...seriously though. I'm all about the mind and heart.

 

[iafic]

Hi, can I stick my two cents worth in here?

In my humble opinion...I go by "taste" not "looks." My taste is that I like guys who are "cute." the baby-face kind. Not handsome or gorgeous...you can keep 'em. I like cute. and some of the cute guys I eye, are actually ugly to other people. I want to adore my guy in every way possible. Even in looks. for I NEED him to think I am pretty. So I need to honor him in the same way. I am not trying to look good with a cute guy on my arm...my admiration of his looks are for his ego!!!!!!!!!!

But looks is the same as any other category. My TASTE in personality is specific too. Some people like intelectual, professional men. SKIP THAT, give me goofy and silly. that is my personality taste. I dont' want to ''settle down" and get married, I want to get married and let the fun begin. Other's may be annoyed by the goofyness of that personality.

So to me yes, absolutely looks are important... and so is personality, and so is their relationship with God (number one in fact). But I think it's stupid to say, "Oh who cares how ugly they are, as long as they have a nice personality." Well as much as looks can fade, so can a personality. Something tragic can happen in life and that person can turn bitter and then they not only are ugly outside, but ugly inside too.

I want to like everything about my guy! Even his faults. Even his looks. for him as much as for me.

 

[Miles]

Even if nobody else sees what I see in her, it's important that I think she's beautiful.

 

[BoarderDave]

Even if nobody else sees what I see in her, it's important that I think she's beautiful.

Definitely true.

That phrase "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is very true. Not everyone shares the same definition of beauty.

 

[soccerdad66]

As much as I hate to put it this way, it's more important that they aren't unattractive to me, so yes, attraction is important.

Especially because I'm very visual. I'm one of those guys who wears glasses to protect his eyes, aka computer glasses, reading glasses.

Honestly, I think not dating a Jezebel is a given. Being a christian, I hope that a persons moral fabric is interwoven into who they are.