How fast do you fall in love?

[memoriesbymichelle]

I've only been in love twice in my lifetime. And I would have to say it took longer the second time. Probably because I had already been hurt by the first one. So in my experience, I think the opposite of Coach in saying as you get older you fall in love quicker because you know what you want. For me it's slower, because I was hurt really bad once by a break-up and once by death.
Not to mention I have raised my standards for what I want because I would rather be single than settle.

 

[sampa]

I've only been in love twice in my lifetime. And I would have to say it took longer the second time. Probably because I had already been hurt by the first one. So in my experience, I think the opposite of Coach in saying as you get older you fall in love quicker because you know what you want. For me it's slower, because I was hurt really bad once by a break-up and once by death.
Not to mention I have raised my standards for what I want because I would rather be single than settle.

Interesting thoughts memoriesbymichelle.
I fell into bad attractions twice.
Each of those lasted 4-months ironically, they were from the same hometown (met in different locations), and both prodigals. I think it was slower the second time since I fought for a month not being attracted (I saw the red flags). I noticed the recovery took less time with the second. One year recovery with the first and 6 months (but an even harder recovery) the second. But these were unhealthy, so I'm no sure if they count???????? Maybe a healthy relationship would be different.

But on the note of knowing what I want, yes I can weed them out easier and avoiding some bad ones now. Especially since I spent last year getting the unhealthy parts of my life worked out.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

I take at least a year to start thinking that I "love" somebody and even then I differentiate from caring about them a lot vs. being "in love" with them.

 

[Harpuia]

I've been in love twice. Both happened very quickly. Neither were willing to love me back.

So as of right now? I don't know if I can fall in love. My heart feels enough like ice that it's hard for anyone to talk to me.

 

[ido]

The title of this thread keeps reminding me of one of my favorite Chris Rice songs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dVvnsjFjFk

 

[BoazB]

OP... it's hard to say. I would say a very LOOOOONG time, but then when it has happened, you can't really pinpoint the exact moment LOL.

 

[atuck00]

For me there are a lot of different levels of love. I have only been truly in love once. It was something I felt within the first month and just never waned. It grew and blossomed. The whole two years we were together I kept falling more in love. Wow... that was sappy!

I do know I fall in love WAY faster than I fall out of love!

 

[BoazB]

Something to look for is the eyes.... If you get lost in them and can't find your way out, then you'll have to stay there!

 

[Touma]

The title of this thread keeps reminding me of one of my favorite Chris Rice songs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dVvnsjFjFk

Man, I LOVE that song. Makes me think of a special gal, which is unfortunate at times.

 

[TheOrthodoxOne]

It's funny because for me, length of time has nothing to do with it. Having a relationship based on lies and deceit is what ruined my past relationships. If your love can mirror the verse I stated above, then time shouldn't have any factor in the realness and intensity of your love for one another.

Two months ago I didn't even believe that love existed. Now, I'm engaged and getting married in December! Funny how God does things like that. Anyway, I agree with you 100%.

 

[Ann Doupont]

Upon reading some of the posts here, I wanted to add something. When we're born again Christians, God's love enters into our hearts. We begin to love people with His love as well as our own. Sometimes, that seems to make it somewhat difficult to tell if we're "in love" with the person or whether God-in-us is in love with them.

I've felt I was in love with a man maybe 4-5 times in my life, and as you can see, I've lived longer than many who are posting on this thread. Yes, I agree, that falling out of love takes a lot longer than falling in love.

I've finally decided to quit looking for a man to love me in return. Proverbs 18 says that he who finds a wife finds a good thing, so I believe that it's up to the man to find the woman (rather than the other way around).

All that we women really need to do is to keep our eyes on the Lord, and He will do the finding for us. What I was doing was not working, so I needed to change, and I have.

Ann

 

[BoazB]

Upon reading some of the posts here, I wanted to add something. When we're born again Christians, God's love enters into our hearts. We begin to love people with His love as well as our own. Sometimes, that seems to make it somewhat difficult to tell if we're "in love" with the person or whether God-in-us is in love with them.

I've felt I was in love with a man maybe 4-5 times in my life, and as you can see, I've lived longer than many who are posting on this thread. Yes, I agree, that falling out of love takes a lot longer than falling in love.

I've finally decided to quit looking for a man to love me in return. Proverbs 18 says that he who finds a wife finds a good thing, so I believe that it's up to the man to find the woman (rather than the other way around).

All that we women really need to do is to keep our eyes on the Lord, and He will do the finding for us. What I was doing was not working, so I needed to change, and I have.

Ann

Thanks Ann. That makes so much sense.

 

[blackandblue]

I know the key to making a good impression is to be witty on the initial meet. I don't normally do that. I generally find any pretty girl who likes me someone I fall in love with within minutes of meeting her.


How long does it take you to fall in love?

I don't think that's love, it may be a strong attraction but I think you have to get to know someone before you fall in love. There are lots of pretty girls I see who I could potentially fall in love with, but if I got to know them I may find that their not the same as my first impression. With first impressions you only see the outer layer of a person's personality, unless you're psychic then you could see deeper down, but it would take more than that to fall in love. Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think you know what love really is if you think you can fall in love when you've just met someone.

 

[blackandblue]

I'd agree with you on Infatuation, Ann. I don't think I really have fallen in love since it should be mutual.

But my question is if infatuation happens on initial meeting what is it when it happens over time? A guy liked me before I did him and backed out at the last minute. IT took months before my thoughts were constantly on him (a form of idoltry?). Mostly because of charming words he used.

Then again, I was attracted to a guy that sat next to me in a college class, our first class together, even though his opinions irritated me. I still don't understand what drew me to him, he wasn't that attractive. Chemistry without even the first words exchanged to each other?

Yeah that can happen, but if you were to get to know him a bit better you could fall in love, or really not like him. The feeling of deep attraction when you first see someone isn't romantic love.

 

[BoazB]

I don't think that's love, it may be a strong attraction but I think you have to get to know someone before you fall in love. There are lots of pretty girls I see who I could potentially fall in love with, but if I got to know them I may find that their not the same as my first impression. With first impressions you only see the outer layer of a person's personality, unless you're psychic then you could see deeper down, but it would take more than that to fall in love. Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think you know what love really is if you think you can fall in love when you've just met someone.

True... love is when you still wouldn't part with them, even when they start to comb the green hairs on their purple warts. LOL

 

[Ann Doupont]

Thanks Ann. That makes so much sense.

Thanks Boaz. Another thought came to mind to also share here.

There are many forms of love. There is emotional love (which women are sometimes more prone to than men). There is physical love (sometimes men fall into this more than women). Then, of course, there is spiritual love (which hopefully we all have, who are saved).

As we seek the Lord as to which kind of love we have, He is sure to tell us. I would hope that those who will marry will have spiritual love as well as the other kinds.

We're not to base our lives on our feelings, like thinking about how that other person makes us feel. Like, I like that man because he makes me feel good about myself (emotional love) or I like that woman because she's so pretty (physical love)...but we're led together with them by God's Holy Spirit.

As we're led by the Holy Spirit in all that we do, He will lead us together with who it is He has for us. Then, if He puts us together, by His Spirit, it's up to Him to keep us together. If we put ourselves together any other way, then it's up to us to keep us together.

Ann

 

[Ann Doupont]

Yeah that can happen, but if you were to get to know him a bit better you could fall in love, or really not like him. The feeling of deep attraction when you first see someone isn't romantic love.

I don't think I saw what Sampa said previously, but in seeing it now and in what you said here, too, I'll respond. Forgive me please if I don't see something someone addressed to me. If that happens, please write again or even PM me to let me know I missed something. Thank you.

Within the past few years, I really thought I was in love with a guy. There was chemistry when we first met. However, something just wasn't right between us. This attraction toward him went on over 3 years, until finally I asked him about it. He said that he'd never been interested in a relationship with me....Hmmm. Interesting, I thought.

Compatibility is a key factor in relationships. That can't happen at first meeting. You have to get to know a person's likes and dislikes in order to understand whether you're compatible. The more I got to know this guy, the less I liked him.

Ann