How do you get over someone seeing you nude?

[amberkathleen]

Before I came to Christ, my boyfriend (now fiance) and I would often times send each other sexual photos.
There was a time where he confessed to me he had been bragging and showed his best friend of photo of me topless.
I feel awful both because this man has seen me nude and I feel gross, and also because I don't understand why he would want some other man to lust after me and I feel as though he did not protect me.

Men ought to care how their wives dress. There are some who may say, "Well, I don't care how my wife dresses. If she wants to dress that way, that's fine." If you don't mind her showing her body, I guess that is your business. Personally, I don't want my wife showing off her body. If you don't care, well, I have a phone number of a pretty good divorce lawyer, and you are probably going to need him sooner or later, because I doubt if you love your wife. Sooner or later, it is going to end, if you don't care. Obviously, your affection is in the wrong place. If you really loved something, you would want to protect it. So if it is not something you want to protect, chances are you really don't love it.

I have read this from a christian site online and it made me feel bad and as though he does not love me enough to protect me.

Since then we have both come to Christ and I no longer send photos like that, but I am still hurting from this incident.

How can I experience healing and feel okay about our relationship?

 

[iamauthentic]

this might come across as a 'religious' answer but its true. since you came to Christ, you are a new creation. you forever have a clean slate. its like the prodigal son and his father embracing him when he comes back and throws him a party. God doesnt see as you were. He sees you as you are in Him and is joyful.

this is a struggle for the majority, if not all, of Christians. we feel guilty or ashamed of our past. its very difficult to overcome. but i think a good way of putting is, why stress out and beat yourself up about something that God already forgave you for?

let me provide an illustration. lets say you had a friend who wronged you in some way. lets say she lied to you and you found out. she came to you and asked for your forgiveness and you honestly didnt think it was a big deal and easily forgave her. for some reason, your friend doesnt really believe you and starts doing everything in her power to get you to forgive her even though you already did. what if she went on like this for years or even for the majority of her life?

this is what happens when we remain ashamed over past events. no matter how significant they may feel to us (murder, rape, ect.) we shouldnt feel ashamed.

the Holy Spirit is where you will experience healing. also, you need to know that any feelings of shame or guilt are not of the Spirit but of the enemy. evil is feeding these thoughts of insecurity and shame to you. these feeligns are not God's condemnation, they are the enemy's trickery. acknowledge that and ask God for spiritual clarity.

this is something we all go through.

Praise God today.

 

[Petunia]

Before I came to Christ, my boyfriend (now fiance) and I would often times send each other sexual photos.
There was a time where he confessed to me he had been bragging and showed his best friend of photo of me topless.
I feel awful both because this man has seen me nude and I feel gross, and also because I don't understand why he would want some other man to lust after me and I feel as though he did not protect me.

Men ought to care how their wives dress. There are some who may say, "Well, I don't care how my wife dresses. If she wants to dress that way, that's fine." If you don't mind her showing her body, I guess that is your business. Personally, I don't want my wife showing off her body. If you don't care, well, I have a phone number of a pretty good divorce lawyer, and you are probably going to need him sooner or later, because I doubt if you love your wife. Sooner or later, it is going to end, if you don't care. Obviously, your affection is in the wrong place. If you really loved something, you would want to protect it. So if it is not something you want to protect, chances are you really don't love it.

I have read this from a christian site online and it made me feel bad and as though he does not love me enough to protect me.

Since then we have both come to Christ and I no longer send photos like that, but I am still hurting from this incident.

How can I experience healing and feel okay about our relationship?

He betrayed your trust. Those are the red flags you're seeing. You can forgive him.. but that doesnt mean you can trust him again. You should probably both speak to your pastor about this. Together. And definitely before you get married. If not your pastor, then a pre-marriage counselor.

 

[1watchman]

Yes, I would be very cautious about binding self to one who has little respect for you as one who they want to marry. How faithful will that one be in the future, and what is the real motive for marriage --is it devotion or just marital convenience and utilitarian? Remember, that not everyone that claims to believe as a Christian is one; and God says: "not everyone who says, Lord, Lord will enter the Kingdom".

 

[Willie T]

I like iamauthentic's post.

And, in addition, I might point out that we would care a whole lot less about what others think of us if we only knew how seldom they do.

 

[Johnnz]

It's in the past and buried with Jesus. You both have a new beginning. Live from that basis.

And frankly, we can get too upset about nudity. We are all remarkably similar in construction.

John
NZ

 

[RuthD]

That was a horrible thing he did. I am praying for your healing.

 

[Pierre101]

Yeah, this is commonplace amongst this generation of boys and girls. I don't really understand it.

I had a girl ask me for a picture of my no-no area once, and I refused because I know where the pictures end up: everywhere.

Seriously, never post nude pictures on the Internet or send them to anyone, not even if it's "unlisted" or "private." Hackers (yes, hackers!) can easily break into your Facebook/Imageshack/Photobucket/etc. accounts and steal the pictures.

Plus, a lot of guys get revenge on their ex-girlfriends this way. They'll purposely upload the nudes to the Internet if you wrong them somehow. I'm not saying your fiancee would do that, but you never know.

 

[garydoc]

Let's just forgive those who have offended us. Also, let's realize that nudity is natural, even when accidental. I saw a cousin nude once by accident . We were both embarrassed and never discussed it. I was a teenager at the time. Looking back, it was an innocent accident.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

There was a time where he confessed to me he had been bragging and showed his best friend of photo of me topless.

Back when I was being angry at God me and my ex-fiance sent photos back and forth...even other things. Well later I found out she would send them to her friends. She even made a cd with them to show people she met. The main reason I found out was my female friends on FB contacted me about them and has sexual comments to make. >.>

Yes I may have been sinning at the point. But I still respected her enough to NEVER show her photos. Since then I obviously have changed and don't do that stuff. But when I marry, if we do take photos I will never share them and keep them locked away for only her and I. I've gotten over it more (even though I know she still has them) then I have the fact I lost my virginity to her. That is something one never forget sadly.

And yes if he loves you he should be protecting you. Hes to keep you focused on God, like a shepherd leading a flock. By showing people your photos then he doesn't seem to care about his flock as much. Your a woman, not a meat prize for him to share with others. its ok to say to his friend "Shes so beautiful!". Its another to say "Shes so beautiful and hot. See check out here photos!". So disgusting. >.<

In the end trust may be hard to gain back. And really its up to you if you want to still be together. Sometimes love can blind us to warning signs and dangers.

While nudity is natural, at the same time I also feel when it comes to the genital area.... NO one should see that but your doctor, family (like if you were giving birth) and your spouse. Its a special area for you and your spouse to interact on higher levels. I don't want someone else seeing my fiances private parts. Not only am I allowing others to lust over that part, but I myself am letting her be cheated on.

Lets face it, that part may be natural, but why would another guy look at it? I had a friend who wasn't christian that asked "Can I see your fiances <sexual related slang>?". I REALLY doubt he wanted to see it because of ts beauty.

I realize thats just my opinion but its how I feel.

 

[If Not For Grace]

You need to get over the FACT that BOTH of you were stupid and did wrong.

What are pictures taken for? Who poses nude for pictures? It was a dumb mistake but you share the blame. Anytime anyone wants a picture believe me nude or otherwise the real agenda is a prize to show it to someone "later"...Where is the picture that was never displayed? Some may have not been shared yet? But even when they don't intend it-rarley do people clean out their secret photo's on their death beds..

In the medical professions you would not believe the pictures that are found in the glove compartments of cars...after an accident.. IJS-It's like the internet..if you never want it shown don't post it.

You get over it-by accepting your role in it and repenting-tear up any pictures that still exist and pose for no more. Move on. Hopefully Lesson Learned.