How did you come back to the church?

[canadiancatholic]

Not sure if this is the right sub-forum, but here goes.As a lapsed catholic, I've been finding it very difficult to find my faith. Life has kicked me in the gut and I am having a hard time reconciling my faith. Anybody out there previously lapsed and came back? What helped? I feel a hippocritical in using my current situation as a crutch for my lapsed faith, but it is so hard sometimes. I know I will never be anything but catholic, lapsed or otherwise. When I first joined the church everything was so great. Life was just shining, I thought my faith was about to burst out of me sometimes. How can I go from that to barely feeling anything. Is this just my "dark night of the soul"? Do most catholics go through this ? Is there a support network to help people like me through this? Any help is appreciated. I don't get online much, but I will check back from time to time. Thank you for your help.

 

[JoabAnias]

Sounds like you have had a conversion experience and now a dark night.

The soul is high maintenance.

If your soul has been on a fast it has to be fed with what it can stomach.


Set up an appointment with a priest and consider confession,
Try to attend Mass as often as you can and read scripture daily.
One might read all things approved with an Imprimatur, especially the Saints to start. I recommend Augustines Confessions.
Go to prayer groups, on a retreat, go to Church functions and follow the Gregorian calendar,
watch ewtn or listen to Catholic radio or get a spiritual director or talk to other Catholics about your situation,
or whatever else within the Church one feels satisfies that hunger.

There is so much and the resources are immense all geared to help you know thyself and get right with God.

Above all, pray and express your needs to God and He will guide you to exactly where you need to be because no matter what kicks you have taken He loves you and will heal you. Don't fret about the dryness. God uses this for a purpose and you will experience a new spring time through it.

Peace.

 

[AwedbyTruth]

I fell away from the church when I was in high school and continually kept trying to come back but I was so addicted to my sins that I could not. I was finally able to come back when I moved away from the root of my sins. What helped me the most was daily Mass, a set time for meditation and prayer, and being in the presence of our Lord.
Mother Angelica (yes I know I quote her a lot) says when you stop feeling things it means that your Faith is growing because it is forced to go outside what we know into something new. We must love the Lord our God. But love is not a feeling. Jesus cannot command a feeling. Love is an action. God Bless and I'll be praying for you!

 

[AdJesumPerMariam]

I am praying, also. I think going to confession helps me, praying my Rosary, Mass.....

 

[canadiancatholic]

Thank you for all your answers and prayers. Time is what I have precious little of. I keep thinking little steps, but taking that first is hard. Lenten renewal is always a constant theme in our diocese( I imagine it is everywhere). Prior to my current funk I was going to confession every 2 weeks or so trying to keep my head above water, but I sunk nonetheless. Please keep advice and prayers flowing. Thank you.

 

[JoabAnias]

Thank you for all your answers and prayers. Time is what I have precious little of. I keep thinking little steps, but taking that first is hard. Lenten renewal is always a constant theme in our diocese( I imagine it is everywhere). Prior to my current funk I was going to confession every 2 weeks or so trying to keep my head above water, but I sunk nonetheless. Please keep advice and prayers flowing. Thank you.

If I am not mistaken you are missing the feeling of being closer to God after experiencing a conversion experience or chastisement as you mentioned being kicked.

I cannot know your heart my friend but can offer my own experiences in hopes they are similar and will be meaningful for you too.

I think I have experienced what your going through a few times. The first time I felt apostate because of the dryness and have fallen astray a few times I have later realized I wasn't really becoming apostate because I didn't reject anything but only became complacant and indifferent.

I just couldn't maintain perseverance because of the dryness which I feared and eventually did get chastised again as I fell in my weakness for which I should have not become afraid of as the fear only made it worse and sort of encouraged me to seperate myself.

I viewed it as healing from the Lord to teach me not to become discouraged with my own weakness which has helped to persevere in subsequent years.

I have also experienced times of frequent confession and not being able to over come certain sins that I would find myself confessing again and again. There is two ways I looked at this, one is that my contrition was imperfect but nevertheless it was always helpful to know I was forgiven nonetheless, teaching me further that the Lord understood my struggles.

For the past few years I have been trying to confess once a month but it often runs longer as I am no longer plagued by those recurrent sins. Its not a matter of concern for me if I must go a couple weeks longer and its a joy to feel progress being made.

So you see, at least for me the feelings of dryness have sometimes been indications of healing happening where I was called to change things up into a new direction to deepen my walk toward the Lord.

Something else, besides not letting my weekness get me discouraged that rings true for me is learning to know myself and where I am comfortable in that walk and to go with that in contentment even when its sometimes disconcerting, as I think you might be feeling now. It helps me to accept that discontentment as a help to persevere. Sort of being content with that discontentment.

When I see myself for what I am then I can have mercy on myself and know I am still desiring God and can find where I am at in that walk and at what speed its going or what distance I have yet to go while that speed and distance offen changes by what God brings or allows to happen in my life.

Sometimes its been hard just to follow the precepts of the Church while at others I have been ravenous for all things spiritual.

As long as you are following the precepts of the Church you are well within the Mercy of the Lord and stable. I remind you, the obligation to confession is only annual, yet a frequent examination of consceince is very pious act.

Ask yourself if you might be expecting more from yourself than Jesus would or being harder on yourself then Jesus would have been. A spiritual director is an invaluable help in these times of change.

As far as the dark night, you may do well to read Mother Theresa's expierence with that. I find the Lord often withdraws His face during Lent or for a time that we may reach out to Him and experience a new awakening to something He is leading us to. Mantain Hope that what your going through, even though you may not understand it sometimes, the Lord is doing it as a gift for you that will be a pleasent suprise when you do see it.

Peace and God bless you.