Horrible Child Custody Situation

[The Princess Bride]

Wasn't sure where to put this - its been ages since I've been on here, but I am trying to reach out for as many resources and advice as I can get.

My step children are in a horrible situation with their birth mother, she currently has primary physical custody.

My husband has joint legal and physical (not sure if its joint how one can have 'primary') - mother moved the kids 200 miles away to Florida 2 years ago, we still reside in GA.

We are getting reports from the kids she is verbally, emotionally and mentally abusive - Cops and DCFs won't really do anything unless its physical abuse - which it has been on a few occasions (We have filed police reports).

Problem is - the kids have to stay with her until the case worker shows up and are intimidated into saying nothing is wrong.

We don't know what else to do.

We can't take them from her home or it is kidnapping, but 3.5 hours away - a lot can happen in a short period of time.

I don't know what I need here - just prayers would be nice.

We went down there Sunday trying to get the kids - only to spend almost 2 hours with a deputy mediating- only to find out that FL does not recognize 14 as "age of election" like GA does and getting the kids here to sign the "election for change of custody" paperwork at this present moment is near impossible.

 

[akmom]

"Verbal," "emotional," and "mental" abuse is very subjective. One person might describe someone as being mean, yelling, or threatening, while another would call it disciplining, being firm, or establishing consequences. Unfortunately, disagreements about parenting are common, and not just among divorced parents. Throwing out a term like "abuse" is manipulative. Even physical discipline is not necessarily abuse.

I would take comfort in the fact that a case worker investigated and didn't find a problem. I am not saying that social workers are infallible, by any means. But they are a neutral third party, evaluating some very subjective accusations. Were the kids intimidated by the case worker? Possibly. Might the kids be exaggerating to you and your husband? Possibly. I think the latter is more likely. I mean, if the kids' stories are in question, then you have to consider that they are just as likely misrepresenting things to you as they are to the social worker. And what do they have to gain? From you, maybe sympathy. (From my experience, divorced parents tend to hear what they want to hear. Not saying that's you, but it is common.) What do they have to gain by deceiving a social worker? Abuse? That doesn't sound very tempting.

I pray you both have peace as you navigate the challenges of co-parenting.

 

[The Princess Bride]

No.
I'm not using the term 'abuse' inappropriately.

My SD has called me when her mother has been in one of her 'tirades' which I heard for myself last over 15 minutes last Sunday night - does calling your child 'worthless', an 'inconvenience' or saying "I don't care about you, your stuff or your privacy" - is that 'discipline'?

I also consider pulling chunks of your daughter's hair out, kicking, scratching and shoving to the point of leaving bruises as ABUSE.

This is the second time we have asked DFCs to go out because of what keeps happening - unfortunately their response time is rather 'lacking' and by the time they do show up - the kids have been intimated into saying nothing is wrong.

 

[MrzAguilar777]

Keep a paper trail of each incident like you're doing, take pictures of any marks, and get recorded proof of children statimg what happened but don't ask leading questions just let them say what happens and drop it so if it goes to court you have proof.

 

[citizenthom]

You need to seek an attorney's aid ASAP. The court can order physical and psychological examinations of the children, and experts can evaluate the "intimidation into silence" effect. Also ask for the children to be examined in camera, which means by the judge without the parties present (lawyers can usually still be present and ask questions).