Holding on to hopes

[graciesings]

What's the longest you've ever held on to a crush on a friend?

I've been hanging on for two years... and I think... now that I know so many other boys, I'm 1000 miles away from him, and won't see him until December... I think I'm letting go. It isn't easy to do that with someone I've wanted for years.

 

[Jupiter Drops]

Two to three years.
I knew that it wouldn't work out.

 

[Sweet Melody]

Edit.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

What's the longest you've ever held on to a crush on a friend?

I've been hanging on for two years... and I think... now that I know so many other boys, I'm 1000 miles away from him, and won't see him until December... I think I'm letting go. It isn't easy to do that with someone I've wanted for years.

In cases like these, moving on is hard...but it's healthy and for the best.


As for me, I've never held on to a crush for very long. I've had so few crushes in my life and everyone of them were completely unattainable, so I let go. Why hold to something that you know you cannot have? ...I chose reality.

 

[graciesings]

The problem is that he is just on the edge of attainable...

deleted

 

[Lord Of The Forest]

Six or seven.

Wow, that was a bad place.

 

[Rhamiel]

4 years

2 of which we were best friends
1 year we were growing apart
1 year after she broke off contact with me but I was still hung up on her.....
it was horrible, I had never been so depressed in my life

funny thing was, this was a CF crush... some of you here might remember Vicky, her CF name was AllForJesus

 

[RayofSun]

Longer than I want to admit. It's not as if it's continual, but sometimes that little hint of a crushy-something just doesn't go away!

 

[EyesOfKohl]

Until she got married.

*sigh*

Why did I let her walk?

 

[Guy Incognito]

A good long while. I need to get over it, but it's hard, even though I'm getting married. But can you blame me?



















George Clooney is just so dang dreamy

 

[Guy Incognito]

But seriously, longest without intending on starting a relationship (cause they weren't a Christian or I didn't see it happening or didn't want to risk the friendship) would be about a year - year 1/2.

Moving on can suck, but it's so very necessary.

 

[Nom De Guerre]

Geez...5 years, we fell in-love so young, but we were nothing alike; but everything I did was an expression of love for her. She was my Venus, and all other women paled in comparrison. I wish I could express the amount of love I had for her for you. Our souls sang together, we were lit once we spent just a brief time together and that light sprang forth in everything we did.

Other women wanted me just because of the love I emitted for her, they'd tell me so..."I want you to love me like you do her." I couldn't. She was my first love, not Biblically, but truly the first girl I ever truly loved.

I loved women while we weren't together, and each in their own way have enormous parts of my heart; but Falon, she was capable of making me drop everything and run to her rescue.

 

[Gadarene]

Nine years, of varying intensity, but I reeeeeeally did not know how to let go or why I had trouble doing it. Sorted itself pretty quickly once I did.

 

[ks777]

A girl I started crushing on in yr3, I didn't stop until about yr8 when I saw a beautiful blonde, which I still have frequent dreams about to this day about 10 years later.

 

[Owlette]

.

 

[Qyöt27]

Crushes in general only would last 8 or 9 months at the most. About the length of a school year.

I don't have it in me to call something that persists for a few years (read: nearly 15), a simple case of 'having a crush'. A significant part of that is my anxiety problems preventing me from contacting anyone from high school (which also leads to me blaming myself, which feeds back into the anxiety). I had anxiety and panic issues back then, too, so it's not some recent occurrence.

 

[TwistTim]

What's the longest you've ever held on to a crush on a friend?

I've been hanging on for two years... and I think... now that I know so many other boys, I'm 1000 miles away from him, and won't see him until December... I think I'm letting go. It isn't easy to do that with someone I've wanted for years.

We worked in the same building for four years, it took me ~two of those to approach her to talk as a friend and not get so shy I would forget to speak.

Then we just talked for brief periods as I would pass by her(6 months)... then we really started to get a good friendship going (another 5).
Sadly as she was a Reservist in the Army she was called up(the very day I was going to ask her out)..... that was 2.5 years ago, she came back, but not to work, I've seen her twice since then. (The most recent was this past Tuesday)

I still feel towards her as I did then. So about 7 Years + a few months now. And still no real prospect of us getting together.... Intellectually I know I should give up the dream. yet no one comes close(I have tried to meet someone else).

I am moving in a few months, not to run away from this, but maybe I will find someone new and maybe I can put these feelings to rest once and for all.

 

[Saucy]

2.5-3 years.

 

[enelya_taralom]

I tend to hold onto to crushes for a long time. It is rare that I meet someone that interests me / stands out, so when I do meet someone like that, I hold on. 99% of the time they don't reciprocate though, so I am left with the option of letting go, or holding on. I know intellectually what I should do, but I never fight with myself to let go.

The longest I have held on has been about 2.5 years with one of the 1% of men that did respond, who also happened to be my first boyfriend. We were together romantically for a very short time, and friends for a few months before. But in total, I have spent more time not having any relationship with him (friendship or otherwise) than I ever did actually having a relationship with him (again friendship or otherwise).

I am almost certain I would have held on anyway, but he and I are also highly involved in our church community, so he has been around. We haven't ever really talked since, but just having him around hasn't been helping.

He is currently not in the church as often as he's doing something out of town with the church and is living out of our city Mon - Sat. That has been going on since Oct and has helped. But still, I can't say I have competely let-go.

Every now and then I'll see him and get those butterflies and that ache back... but with that said, he is in a very good place. I spent a lot of time feeling torn between wanting him with me but also wanting him to be able to stay where he was, and it was impossible for both to happen.

However, despite the ache I get sometimes, and not being able to say I have 100% let go, I can say he is no longer the one I want. I met someone else 2 months ago. Unfortunately that was also a very quick rollar coaster "relationship" that ended very quickly, but it is now that guy that, if I had to choose someone to be with, I would want to be with him. I still love and miss the first guy, but, like I said, he is where he was created to be, I want that for him and no longer desire for him to not be there. Having had someone else is letting me carrying the first in my heart with a new freedom that's not total, but still releasing....

but now to see how long I hold onto guy #2.... :shakehead: