- Mar 13, 2003
- 532
- 16
- 52
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Republican
My husband and I have been together for 3 yrs. I remember the first time we went to Cedar Point (an amusement park in Ohio)...I was so happy to finally be one of those couples holding each other in line the rest of the world was non-existant it was just him and me (that was my idea of real love when I was a kid). The second (and last) time we went was one of the worst experiences in my life...his eyes were on every girl that went by...I was standing right next to him feeling like chopped liver and feeling embarassed that I couldn't keep his attention. Now I am afraid to go out with him when the weather gets warm and if I do I'm uptight and he doesn't understand why.
Do guys just not understand how this can hurt a woman to the core of her soul? Why can't I be loved like I love. I do not look at other men because I have the one I want for the rest of my life.
He says he's not looking...but I see him. He says it's not lust...but I have seen the look in his eye, I've heard his breathing change, (while watching tv) I have even heard his heart race. I've tried to talk to him about putting up "hedges" around our marriage...but then he says I'm accusing him. I don't argue about it anymore but my heart breaks when it happens and of course my countenance changes! All I get from him is "what's wrong?"...how can he not know? I've seen him look and then look to see if I'm watching him and then look at the girls longer. If it were just one look and then looking away...I would trust (even women do that kind of thing just like a reaction to skin or something). He says that this is a trust issue and that I just don't trust him to keep his marriage vow to me...but in Mattew Jesus said that to look on a woman in lust is as bad as committing adultery.
I just keep praying that God speaks to him...but I'm tired...I want to be free from this pain. I will NEVER leave him and the "d" word is simply not part of my vocabulary.
Has anyone else been through this and is there any way of getting past this pain without becoming numb (which in my case, in the past, has to do with plenty of alchohol!)? When I become numb it doesn't hurt anymore...but I know it means not being able to give the love I need to. My sister and I talk about this, as she goes through the same thing with her husband on a grander scale because he is not christian and is into inappropriate content, and we wonder if men have any clue how much this hurts...do they even think about it...can they? I go on by giving it up to the lord as often as I can and forgiving even though I know it will happen over and over again. I just need to know if anyone out there feels or has felt the same thing...and if so what recourse, if any, is there? I put this in the couples and marriage ministry because I wan't to hear from both husbands and wives...I don't want to just gripe about men.
Do guys just not understand how this can hurt a woman to the core of her soul? Why can't I be loved like I love. I do not look at other men because I have the one I want for the rest of my life.
He says he's not looking...but I see him. He says it's not lust...but I have seen the look in his eye, I've heard his breathing change, (while watching tv) I have even heard his heart race. I've tried to talk to him about putting up "hedges" around our marriage...but then he says I'm accusing him. I don't argue about it anymore but my heart breaks when it happens and of course my countenance changes! All I get from him is "what's wrong?"...how can he not know? I've seen him look and then look to see if I'm watching him and then look at the girls longer. If it were just one look and then looking away...I would trust (even women do that kind of thing just like a reaction to skin or something). He says that this is a trust issue and that I just don't trust him to keep his marriage vow to me...but in Mattew Jesus said that to look on a woman in lust is as bad as committing adultery.
I just keep praying that God speaks to him...but I'm tired...I want to be free from this pain. I will NEVER leave him and the "d" word is simply not part of my vocabulary.
Has anyone else been through this and is there any way of getting past this pain without becoming numb (which in my case, in the past, has to do with plenty of alchohol!)? When I become numb it doesn't hurt anymore...but I know it means not being able to give the love I need to. My sister and I talk about this, as she goes through the same thing with her husband on a grander scale because he is not christian and is into inappropriate content, and we wonder if men have any clue how much this hurts...do they even think about it...can they? I go on by giving it up to the lord as often as I can and forgiving even though I know it will happen over and over again. I just need to know if anyone out there feels or has felt the same thing...and if so what recourse, if any, is there? I put this in the couples and marriage ministry because I wan't to hear from both husbands and wives...I don't want to just gripe about men.