Help with prayers not being answered...I may just stop praying

[orange the duck]

Hello everyone. I have a question, and its probably a stupid one. My wife (we aren't married in the Church, only the court house) cant keep a job. I have been praying, and praying and praying and praying and praying and praying and praying for God to help her keep a job. I have asked that God fill her heart with the desire to do well. I have prayed that God fill the heart of her boss(es) with mercy and understanding. I need help financially, and its not like I'm asking God to magically create a million dollars in my bank account. I want my financial problems to be solved by both of us working. That is absolutely NOT unreasonable, selfish or unbiblical. Yet, no matter how many times I pray, no matter how much feeling I put into my prayers, God literally doesnt care. I know He hears me, He just doesnt care (if He cared, He would do it). As said above, I'm not asking God to violate the laws of physics or preform any miracle that goes against human nature. I'm asking for Him to simply help her keep a job.

Other than being "married" outside of the Church (something I want to fix at some point), there are 2 massive sins I struggle with. One of them I have improved upon greatly. The other, well, I have a long way to go before I can say I repented of it. I bring this up to publicly state that while I'm not living a life that God is terribly pleased with, I am actively working on fixing it. It just seems like nothing is good enough. If God isn't going to help me with something so simple and easy (keeping a job is something God can VERY easily help with), then why should I bother to continue to pray?

Yes, I sound petty and vindictive, but i'm being honest. "Ask anything in my name", as Christ said. Well, for 3 years I have been asking God (in Christ's name) to help my wife keep a job and not once did He answer.

I'm at a loss. Very sorry for the long rant

Maybe those of you who read this can pray for her. Maybe God will actually listen to you.

 

[ArmyMatt]

Lord have mercy!

does your priest know about your marriage situation?

 

[lanceleo]

What's the reason your wife couldn't hold on to a job? Is she depressed or anxious?

 

[orange the duck]

Lord have mercy!

does your priest know about your marriage situation?

Yes. I'm not going to lie to a priest.

 

[orange the duck]

What's the reason your wife couldn't hold on to a job? Is she depressed or anxious?

Im not sure. Sometimes its bad luck. One day, out of the blue, she got an email from her boss saying "we are packing up and leaving the state. I will mail you your last check".

Situations like that have happened more than once.

Other times, the reason she lost her job isn't so clear.

 

[ArmyMatt]

Yes. I'm not going to lie to a priest.

well, I hate to say it this way, but did you consider His answer might be no? many times the answer He gives and knows we need isn’t the one we think we need. I can attest to that from my own life.

 

[ZaidaBoBaida]

I'd say my company is hiring, but I wouldn't wish working for my company on my worst enemy. If your wife doesn't have depression or anxiety she shuold after a few months at my job.

 

[LizaMarie]

Has she tried signing up for something like Indeed? You create an account, put in the area radius for jobs you want to be alerted to, and then
if you want you can create a resume and you get sent job possibilities in your email inbox that match what you are looking for.
I'm semi-retired now but I get all kinds of job suggestions in my inbox that I would apply for if I was younger and willing to commute a bit.
A lot better than in my younger days when one had to get a newspaper and circle jobs ,lol.
Keep praying and ask others to pray that something matierializes that she likes and would be good at.

 

[BPPLEE]

Hello everyone. I have a question, and its probably a stupid one. My wife (we aren't married in the Church, only the court house) cant keep a job. I have been praying, and praying and praying and praying and praying and praying and praying for God to help her keep a job. I have asked that God fill her heart with the desire to do well. I have prayed that God fill the heart of her boss(es) with mercy and understanding. I need help financially, and its not like I'm asking God to magically create a million dollars in my bank account. I want my financial problems to be solved by both of us working. That is absolutely NOT unreasonable, selfish or unbiblical. Yet, no matter how many times I pray, no matter how much feeling I put into my prayers, God literally doesnt care. I know He hears me, He just doesnt care (if He cared, He would do it). As said above, I'm not asking God to violate the laws of physics or preform any miracle that goes against human nature. I'm asking for Him to simply help her keep a job.

Other than being "married" outside of the Church (something I want to fix at some point), there are 2 massive sins I struggle with. One of them I have improved upon greatly. The other, well, I have a long way to go before I can say I repented of it. I bring this up to publicly state that while I'm not living a life that God is terribly pleased with, I am actively working on fixing it. It just seems like nothing is good enough. If God isn't going to help me with something so simple and easy (keeping a job is something God can VERY easily help with), then why should I bother to continue to pray?

Yes, I sound petty and vindictive, but i'm being honest. "Ask anything in my name", as Christ said. Well, for 3 years I have been asking God (in Christ's name) to help my wife keep a job and not once did He answer.

I'm at a loss. Very sorry for the long rant

Maybe those of you who read this can pray for her. Maybe God will actually listen to you.

Maybe your wife doesn’t really want to keep a job.

 

[orange the duck]

Has she tried signing up for something like Indeed? You create an account, put in the area radius for jobs you want to be alerted to, and then
if you want you can create a resume and you get sent job possibilities in your email inbox that match what you are looking for.
I'm semi-retired now but I get all kinds of job suggestions in my inbox that I would apply for if I was younger and willing to commute a bit.
A lot better than in my younger days when one had to get a newspaper and circle jobs ,lol.
Keep praying and ask others to pray that something matierializes that she likes and would be good at.

She has found probably a dozen jobs on Indeed over the past 2 years...and lost them all. It's almost as if God is causing her to fail. If that is the case (and that what the evidence suggests), then I literally have no incentive to pray anymore. If God is going to ignore my prayers, or worse, actively work against me, then does He even deserve my prayers? Why bother asking Him anything if He is just going to do the opposite what I am very reasonably asking for?

It's not like a killed a person and then prayed that God make a jury find me not guilty. That would be unreasonable. I'm asking for financial help in the form of my wife keeping a job. I'm not asking for a bag with money to magically fall out of the sky and land right in front of me.

 

[orange the duck]

Maybe your wife doesn’t really want to keep a job.

I have considered that to be a possibility. Sometimes it does seem like that.

 

[LizaMarie]

She has found probably a dozen jobs on Indeed over the past 2 years...and lost them all. It's almost as if God is causing her to fail. If that is the case (and that what the evidence suggests), then I literally have no incentive to pray anymore. If God is going to ignore my prayers, or worse, actively work against me, then does He even deserve my prayers? Why bother asking Him anything if He is just going to do the opposite what I am very reasonably asking for?

It's not like a killed a person and then prayed that God make a jury find me not guilty. That would be unreasonable. I'm asking for financial help in the form of my wife keeping a job. I'm not asking for a bag with money to magically fall out of the sky and land right in front of me.

Don't forget that God will not usurp our own free will. Example: she has to want to get a job and keep it.
It's like marriage. We have to work at our marriages and yes we can pray to God that He will change the heart of our spouses, and our own,
but we must work with God, as well. He won't deny our free will. But please, don't stop praying.

 

[Wildflower3]

Have you asked the intercession of St. Xenia of Petersburg? She is a patron saint of those looking for employment and she has helped a friend I know who was looking for job advancement. She has also helped many others.

Purchase an icon of hers or just look up her icon online and venerate it on your device daily asking for her intercession to God for your wife to get and keep a stable job. There is even an akathist to her if you search online:

Saint Xenia of St. Petersburg | Akathists.com

A growing repository of Orthodox-Christian Akathists. Prayers to Christ, The Theotokos, Saints, Angels, and to pray on specific occasions.

www.akathists.com

If you have prayer burn-out, then a simple, "St. Xenia, help my wife find and keep a job."

I know humanly, you feel justified in your extreme frustration towards God (I've personally been there, done that countless times, even St. Silouan felt that way once) but God is blameless and He is love despite how things look, so I would advise you repent of any and all of your anger and frustration at Him. He really owes us nothing and we are truly unworthy of anything from Him, all our righteousness is as filthy rags. compared to His pure righteousness.

If you feel you can't or don't want to repent of your frustration/anger at Him, then ask Him to help you want to repent and have the proper attitude. You are only blocking Him from your life and soul by your anger. You should also confess this sin to your priest in Holy Confession.

Utilize the Theotokos and the Saints and Angels in your prayers to God, we need their intercession desperately at all times.

I think it was St. Paisios who said something like, "Is God not answering your prayers? Then don't turn to God's enemies in your anger, but turn to His friend's (the Saints) for help."

St. Xenia, pray unto God for "orange the duck's" wife. Help him also, overcome his frustration and have peace with the Lord again. Amen.

 

[Divide]

She has found probably a dozen jobs on Indeed over the past 2 years...and lost them all. It's almost as if God is causing her to fail. If that is the case (and that what the evidence suggests), then I literally have no incentive to pray anymore. If God is going to ignore my prayers, or worse, actively work against me, then does He even deserve my prayers? Why bother asking Him anything if He is just going to do the opposite what I am very reasonably asking for?

Maybe the Lord is trying to teach you something? Or your wife? Or the solution to your problem might not be that your wife works? Maybe the Lord thinks that she should not work for some reason?

Don't give up on God or praying because he has not answered your prayer in the way that you wanted or expected him too. Scripture does say, ask and ye shall receive, but it doesn't say that we can dictate to God how He is to answer our prayer! Pray again and ask the Lord to reveal to you if you are missing something...and listen.

 

[Lukaris]

We need to keep praying as the Lord tells us not to lose heart ( Luke 18:1). We need to do this for each other to live life by the commandments and to treat each other as we should want to be treated ( see Matthew 22:36-40, Matthew 7:12). These have to be in our thoughts and actions ( see 1 Timothy 1:5) as St. Paul further instructs us ( see 1 Timothy 2:1-7).

God does not expect us to wear a smiley face when we burdened with sorrow but we must not despair ( see 2 Corinthians 4:8-9). Do not lose sight of the big picture of our salvation ( see Romans 8:1-39).

The Lord’s Prayer is our life support and gift unto eternal life. Just praying His prayer with sincerity no matter how dull & remote it may seem in bad times is unto our blessings of salvation.

Prayers that your needs will be met so that all of our faith and blessings and greater thanksgiving for us all ( see James 1:17-18).

 

[orange the duck]

Have you asked the intercession of St. Xenia of Petersburg? She is a patron saint of those looking for employment and she has helped a friend I know who was looking for job advancement. She has also helped many others.

Purchase an icon of hers or just look up her icon online and venerate it on your device daily asking for her intercession to God for your wife to get and keep a stable job. There is even an akathist to her if you search online:

Saint Xenia of St. Petersburg | Akathists.com

A growing repository of Orthodox-Christian Akathists. Prayers to Christ, The Theotokos, Saints, Angels, and to pray on specific occasions.

www.akathists.com

If you have prayer burn-out, then a simple, "St. Xenia, help my wife find and keep a job."

I know humanly, you feel justified in your extreme frustration towards God (I've personally been there, done that countless times, even St. Silouan felt that way once) but God is blameless and He is love despite how things look, so I would advise you repent of any and all of your anger and frustration at Him. He really owes us nothing and we are truly unworthy of anything from Him, all our righteousness is as filthy rags. compared to His pure righteousness.

If you feel you can't or don't want to repent of your frustration/anger at Him, then ask Him to help you want to repent and have the proper attitude. You are only blocking Him from your life and soul by your anger. You should also confess this sin to your priest in Holy Confession.

Utilize the Theotokos and the Saints and Angels in your prayers to God, we need their intercession desperately at all times.

I think it was St. Paisios who said something like, "Is God not answering your prayers? Then don't turn to God's enemies in your anger, but turn to His friend's (the Saints) for help."

St. Xenia, pray unto God for "orange the duck's" wife. Help him also, overcome his frustration and have peace with the Lord again. Amen.

Is Xenia pronounced "Zee-en-a"? Maybe it's nitpicky, but I want to say her name correctly

 

[Wildflower3]

Is Xenia pronounced "Zee-en-a"? Maybe it's nitpicky, but I want to say her name correctly

Christ is Born!

Good question, seems like us Americans pronounce it either :
"Zen-ee-ya"
or
"Ksen-ee-ya" as in this video:

I realize now that I've been pronouncing it like some in Eastern Europe do, "Zeen-ee-ya".

I think use whichever of these versions rolls off your tongue the easiest.

God bless!