Having to deal with issues is overwhelming

[Silver-winged Flyer]

I've finally accepted the fact that what I suspected may be causing my depression actually is. Its something I went through as a child that I now have to deal with. I've been writing the memories down in my journal but its a difficult, painful process. The weird thing is that my depression was actually controlled until a few days ago and then I came to this conclusion.

I'm trying to trust God but its so difficult, I feel alone and I know its a waste of time but I sometimes wonder why I had to go through what I did. It feels like I may not survive the recovery process, its just so hard. I'm seeing my counsellor next week and I will discuss this with her. There is also sin that I need to deal with that relates to my past which I will, at some stage, bring up with my mentor and ask her to help me deal with it.

I'm getting encouragement from Isaiah 42:3 - "a bruised reed he will not break, and a faintly burning wick he will not quench; he will faithfully bring forth justice."

 

[Broken Hearted]

Sometimes when we bring up old memories it brings alot of pain. If it hurts then its really something that needs to be healed. Earlier this year I finally brought up some of my childhood pains and it hurt and brought so many horrible emotions but it needed to so I could finally start to heal from the pain that I hide for so long. Im glad to see you have a therapist. Use this therapist to heal from it thats what they are there for. It wont be easy but God will be with you. You will feel really relieved if you get it out and work on it. I will be praying for you. If you ever need to talk your more than welcome to PM me Im a good listener. Many Prayers and Hugs

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

Thanks Broken Hearted. My boss is getting on my case because my attitude is affecting my work. Apparently he's struggling with me, what the hell does he think I'm going through?

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

Does anybody know what I'm going through or understand? Just feeling really alone.

 

[plumsink]

There are a lot of people here who can understand what you are going through. There are people here who have had to endure terrible, terrible things in their childhood. Things nobody should have to endure, but unfortunately some do.

As to the question "why", I know that God has a reason that He allows us to be subject to this world of pain. He did not even spare His own Son from that. He never promised that this life would be pain-free, only that He would help us and lead us to Life. The World is under the sway of sin and death, it is not our home, so it is natural that we would not feel at home here.

“Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.”
- 1 John 2:15-16

My favorite example of someone having to face something very difficult is poor St. Peter, who ran out on danger when Jesus was crucified. Jesus talks to him later and asks him, "Do you love me?" He asks three times, and Peter gets a little hurt that Jesus keeps asking him this. Then Jesus tells him basically that he will meet a difficult painful death. Peter in fact will be crucified, practically the worst death imaginable.

Now Jesus loved Peter, more than Peter could possibly know. Peter like us had his own cross to carry though, like we all have to carry our own cross. We have to have faith and know that God will make it possible for us to carry it.

God did not promise us that we would have an ideal life with a loving husband or wife and obedient children and a good job. He promised that we would have trouble in this life in fact. But he promised us that it would be worth it.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
-John 16:33

Peace Silver

 

[aliwhowho]

You seem very wise and I want you to know that it will get better. I have dealt with a lot of the same stuff you are going through this year and it is finally getting better.

 

[Criada]

I'm sorry it's so painful, sweetie.
I'm going through something very similar, and it hurts so much sometimes. But every memory we drag out into the light id there for God to deal with... and one day, it will be finished, all of them will be faced and there will be peace. Hang in there sweetie
Praying for you, and here if you need to talk - Pm me anytime.

 

[miss-a]

I do understand how you feel. Many of us have been there. You are not alone. We want to be here for you, and so does God. He is with you even when you can't feel it.

Are you familiar with the Bible teacher, Beth Moore? She had a horrible past to deal. She's spoken before very much like what you just said, she thought she might lose her mind while dealing with her past. But she didn't, and she learned that those kinds of thoughts, thoughts that tell you you can't do this, are lies from the enemy who wants you to avoid dealing with your past so you will never heal from it. You can heal and you will.

I'll be praying for you, and I also wanted to leave you these video links to watch; they speak about moving on from the past, hand in had with God. It's in 4 short parts. Just click these links:
James and Betty Robison on LIFE Today

James and Betty Robison on LIFE Today

James and Betty Robison on LIFE Today

James and Betty Robison on LIFE Today

I hope you'll watch. I think they will help you see that God has your healing and life under control even when it doesn't feel that way. He loves you so much.

Praying,
A

P.S. That's an excellent scripture to hold on to. Thanks for posting it. It helps me to remember that too.

 

[aflower4God]

First WELCOME to CF.
We are all here for you my dear sweet loving friend. PLEASE KNOW that. PLEASE keep us updated as well. GOD BLESS YOU and LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU.

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

Thank you so much to everybody, I know I'm not alone.


Plumsink - thanks for the reminder that life is not supposed to be smooth sailing all the time, those verses are encouraging.

Aliwhowho - thank you for the compliment. Any wisdom I have is from God.

Criada - thank you for the encouragement and for praying for me, its really good to know I'm being prayed for.

Miss-a - I'm actually doing one of Beth Moore's studies - Breaking Free. I haven't got too far into it yet but I'm hoping it will help. I will definitely watch the videos, thank you for sharing them.

Aflower4God - thank you very much and I will keep you updated.

Hugs to all, I know I can overcome my past with God and all of you supporting and encouraging me.