Having bad trouble with a "vow" today, please help

[gtp40]

Ok, I'm having a really hard time today.

My dad started this new tradition last year that every year we have an Octoberfest party and invite all kinds of people. Well that party is today (we had it before October because the weather gets bad) and if I were to not come my Dad would take it as a sign of disrespect, and this could cause some major problems for me.

Anyways, a while ago (June 12th or sometime around then) I got in a fight with my Dad, and I got really upset. If any of you have read my posts before, you may remember that my big OCD issue is vowing and I have had this for quite a while now. Anyways, I am worried that I "vowed" not to go to the party when I was angry. One of my usual "vow" issues is "vow to do/not to do _______ or I will have to go to/live in Africa." So now, I am worried that out of anger, I "vowed" not to go to this party or I will have to go live in Africa.

This is really bothering me, I have vacated my parents' house and am staying at my apartment, basically in fear that if I step on to their property at any moment today or tomorrow I will have "gone to the party" and therefore will have to go to Africa. Everyone is expecting me to be there, and everyone is going to wonder where I'm at, and my dad could get angry. What also sucks, there is a quality, single woman that I would love to meet who I think is coming, and I am single and would love to meet someone.

What really bothers me about this is the anger part, that is what prompted this. A lot of times it is easy to tell if something is OCD, but with the anger I am worried. Is that OCD? Obviously I don't want to vow ever, why did I do that, that night? Was it OCD? Was it anger? A combination? And most of all, is God going to hold me accountable? The risk is HUGE, I obviously can't be moving to Africa, and if I was held accountable and didn't move to Africa then I could be in a "sin until death" situation, how could I be right with God?

Can you be forgiven in this situation? I fear that I would not be forgiven for the "vow" because I feel that by not fulfilling the "vow" I'm not sorry and therefore cannot be forgiven, at least not before I die (I'm not saying I wouldn't be saved).

This is really bothering me, the party is tonight and I do not know what to do. Please help me. It's so hard to tell if these things are OCD or not. I mean I never want to "vow". Did the anger bring on OCD? Or did I actually vow? It's been so long. I looked at my logs (I keep logs of my OCD) and I didn't have much information in there.

Please help me, I really need it. I have been having "vow" issues since long before this incident with "vowing" not to go to the party.

Thanks

 

[adam7272]

Hello I am reminded of when Jesus says "for the sake of men's traditions you dishonor the word of God" (paraphrase of course) Matthew 15. In this context pharisees were followings men's tradition at the expense of honoring/helping their parents.
In your case, I believe honoring your parents and reconciling any grievances is more important than your vow (mans tradition). This is not to condemn you, but I hope it gives you perspective to follow God's word instead of your vows (which are not linked to God's word). Said a prayer for you

 

[kaykay9.0]

I agree with Adam's insight above. I hope you heeded it because this does seem OCD-driven. And another thing, it may not be and probably isn't God's will for you to go to Africa!I don't think it's right to do something NOT in God's will for you over some vow you may or may not have made. Does this make sense?

 

[Strachan]

I suggest in this case you submit to authority of your earthly father, and ask him to set aside and break every vow you have ever made, to set them aside as null and void, as he as your father have that authority.

Then, do not vow again. I understand it is OCD related and might not be that simple for you, but at least it will be a fresh start. Jus my thoughts.