has...

[rppearso]

More than I could have ever imagined. People from my chruch said what you are looking for is a ***(I can send you the trasnlation to *** if you want to give me our IM username) and good luck if you want to find someone like that. Well I got divorced and left the chruch and was blessed more than I could have imagined.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

I am glad that you are open to discussing all this. My hope is that bad marriages will be fixed and I definitely don't think people should just trudge through life remaining in bad marriages. That is just unacceptable and doesn't sound like the kind of life that God would want us to live.

Something that just ran through my head was what if you were still unhappy months after being divorced? You're on anti-depressants already and being overweight does not help with that. Weight Watchers helped me learn how to eat. I lost over 40 pounds about 2 years ago. But, I still eat for comfort at times, but now I know I need to switch to my air popped popcorn if I really need to shovel food in my mouth. If the knowledge of how and what to eat is not enough to lose the weight, then you need to research the "why" of the overeating. Is is because of the marriage or is it from other things in the past? Before making such a change as separation or divorce I would hope you would do some soul searching into this area.

Are you involved in a church? Is your husband? If he can't keep up the good behavior he really needs some mature men to keep him accountable. Heck, he needs to be accountable to some Christian men even if he's acting like a perfect Christian. And wives should have mature Christian women keeping them accountable also. Assuming you have a church family-does anyone know of the struggles you're going through right now? Who is praying for you and advising you?

 

[eatenbylocusts]

More than I could have ever imagined. People from my chruch said what you are looking for is a ***(I can send you the trasnlation to *** if you want to give me our IM username) and good luck if you want to find someone like that. Well I got divorced and left the chruch and was blessed more than I could have imagined.

Congratulations on your marriage.

 

[rppearso]

I used to be a power lifter and into martial arts before I married my ex and when things went bad I put on weight because I was depressed, I mean I was in my mid 20's and she was giving me issues about sex. I felt like I lost that time but the weight can come back off and the strength can come back, I am hitting the tread mill again and the weights, I guess I just said hey now I have someone who is going to take care of me so I would rather have sex than eat and being in shape makes sex better and I have a big enough fear of diabities that it modified my behavior. you have to start off slow hit the tread mill once or twice a week and work up to every other day with weights on some of the off days. I try to keep alot of veggies and stuff in the house, I dont even buy processed foods (or very few). Find other things to occupy your time than eating, read the bible, study something you find interesting (maybe start working on a bachelors online or at a local university), so a sport of some sort, come on here and chat.

I sometimes wonder if heavan will be an extention of our time on earth only without the coruption and we just carry on where we left off.

I am glad that you are open to discussing all this. My hope is that bad marriages will be fixed and I definitely don't think people should just trudge through life remaining in bad marriages. That is just unacceptable and doesn't sound like the kind of life that God would want us to live.

Something that just ran through my head was what if you were still unhappy months after being divorced? You're on anti-depressants already and being overweight does not help with that. Weight Watchers helped me learn how to eat. I lost over 40 pounds about 2 years ago. But, I still eat for comfort at times, but now I know I need to switch to my air popped popcorn if I really need to shovel food in my mouth. If the knowledge of how and what to eat is not enough to lose the weight, then you need to research the "why" of the overeating. Is is because of the marriage or is it from other things in the past? Before making such a change as separation or divorce I would hope you would do some soul searching into this area.

Are you involved in a church? Is your husband? If he can't keep up the good behavior he really needs some mature men to keep him accountable. Heck, he needs to be accountable to some Christian men even if he's acting like a perfect Christian. And wives should have mature Christian women keeping them accountable also. Assuming you have a church family-does anyone know of the struggles you're going through right now? Who is praying for you and advising you?

 

[rppearso]

TY

Congratulations on your marriage.

 

[hisbloodformysins]

I sometimes wonder if heavan will be an extention of our time on earth only without the coruption and we just carry on where we left off.

That is an interesting thought.

Thanks guys for giving me input about the weight. Actually, i've successfully done weigh down workshop and thin within. The best weight loss programs out there! And you don't have to watch what you eat unless you want to, but just how much... I try to eat healthy anyways.. and that is something i'm starting out slow... i make healthy choices maybe 25 percent of the time.. sometimes more, sometimes less. I am working on getting the motivation to go back to the gym again... considering all the ways I can exercise... because i don't want my exercise to be limited to the gym. Lately i've been thinking about running... but i'm so self conscience... that is what'd keep me from doing it... too worried about people seeing me run. But running is such good exercise! I bought some roller blades so i can learn how to roller blade, spend good money on them too, but last couple summers i've been pregnant or on maternity leave... so that's something i'd like to try again. Really want to learn how to do it well because right now i suck at it! Actually, it's not hard for me to lose weight when i set my mind to it.... i just keep getting pregnant and i'm one of those people that packs on the pounds when i get pregnant.. i don't care what the experts say about how few extra calories are required.. my appetite is like a raving beast, it just takes over and it's hard not to let myself eat the extra food. Now if i can just stop having babies.. then i can get rid of my fat cloths and keep losing the weight and keep it off!

Thanks again for the input peoples!



HB

 

[hisbloodformysins]

Are you involved in a church? Is your husband? If he can't keep up the good behavior he really needs some mature men to keep him accountable. Heck, he needs to be accountable to some Christian men even if he's acting like a perfect Christian. And wives should have mature Christian women keeping them accountable also. Assuming you have a church family-does anyone know of the struggles you're going through right now? Who is praying for you and advising you?

No, we are not currently at this time, I do think that'd help a lot. But it seems to be so much easier said then done.

Thanks again for your input.

HB

 

[eatenbylocusts]

No, we are not currently at this time, I do think that'd help a lot. But it seems to be so much easier said then done.

Thanks again for your input.

HB

I would really encourage you to make finding a good church an important priority. No one knew the problems my marriage was going through at my old church. I didn't have any close relationships there and wasn't encouraged or instructed to do anything to grow other than being asked to serve as a deaconess. That was a good experience because of Angel Tree, but that was 1 month out of a year. My new church is so different. You can quickly find a group to grow relationships and you are encouraged weekly to plug in and serve. You can tell the church feels the responsibility to keep families and marriages healthy and to help singles.

I don't know if this church could've assisted in a different outcome for my marriage, but I know I would've been instructed to wait on marriage with my ex until I saw that his professed faith bore fruit.

It is so hard to explain how much this church has enriched my walk in the last year. Please find a church that will help your family and that you in turn can serve in. It makes such a difference.

 

[myanchor]

HBMS, I want your husband to fix his rectal/cranial inversion. I know it is possible. God fixed mine. I'm going to get DW on here too. She can give you hope and advice from her perspective.

Think about this, in many states you can get a legal separation. In it you can set forth the requirements for interaction, who and how you both go to counseling, what he is to pay in child support and so on.

A legal separation is a neccesity in many states as well. And I guarantee, it will get his attention, that is if he has any substance to him at all.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

HBMS, I want your husband to fix his rectal/cranial inversion. I know it is possible. God fixed mine. I'm going to get DW on here too. She can give you hope and advice from her perspective.

Think about this, in many states you can get a legal separation. In it you can set forth the requirements for interaction, who and how you both go to counseling, what he is to pay in child support and so on.

A legal separation is a neccesity in many states as well. And I guarantee, it will get his attention, that is if he has any substance to him at all.

I can imagine that there are situations where a separation might be the best choice, but I have often read that it is a bad choice if you're really hoping to save the marriage. If there is a worry of being harmed separation would of course be the right way to go. I separated. My marriage ended, but my ex was dysfunctional in ways I still don't understand. If there are kids in the picture, separation can be so painful that it really should be a last choice if there are other options. Not to mention money/housing issues during this difficult time for many.

I'm very glad things turned out well for your family. I'm sure you will be a source of encouragement for others.