Give "Bad" Advice (3)

[Quid est Veritas?]

Begin systematic land reclamation and polder building from San Diego onward.

How can I remember whatever the thing is I forgot?

 

[Chesterton]

Underneath your name it says you're married. Isn't that what wives are for? To remind you of things you forget? For example...well, I won't get into examples, but I've heard that wives have excellent memories about things their husbands are supposed to remember, or at least things that they feel their husbands are supposed to remember.

How can I convince the world that I've actually discovered how to divide by zero?

 

[public hermit]

Say nothing. They will be flabbergasted and convinced.

What is the the best way to make friends that rarely come by?

 

[Anthony2019]

Skip showering for about a month.

What present do I buy for my friends wedding.....

 

[Petros2015]

What present do I buy for my friends wedding.....

The Karma-Sutra Pop-Up book

How do I tell my boss I'm late on our current project?

 

[Chesterton]

Remind your boss that being on time is White Supremacy.

How do I get this song out of my head?

 

[lucypevensie]

Belt it out loud in a public place, then you’ll give it to someone else to obsess about.

What town should we move to?

 

[Chesterton]

Be original. Start your own city.

I want to be original. What should I put inside my kid's pinata instead of candy?

 

[public hermit]

I'm thinking small creatures. You get the initial surprise of prizes for all the kiddos, but then the chase to keep them adds another element.

I have great ideas, but they are rarely actualized. What can I do to actually do something.

 

[Ceallaigh]

Watch lots of youtube videos.

How can I make lots of money from home?

 

[public hermit]

It all depends on using the right ink and paper. I have a friend who can teach you as soon as he makes parole. I'll have him hit you up.

How can I make better quality friends?

 

[Chesterton]

If you want to "make" better quality friends get a better quality 3D printer.

How can I win more at the game of Twister?

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

Get a fast truck, scan the metereological chatter daily, and keep cruising the Alley. I got a new washing machine and a full suit the other day, admittedly a little beat up.

Where can I get quality childcare?

 

[brinny]

Get a fast truck, scan the metereological chatter daily, and keep cruising the Alley. I got a new washing machine and a full suit the other day, admittedly a little beat up.

Where can I get quality childcare?

I heard it's free at the chimpanzee petting zoo.

What's the best way to make coffee?

 

[Chesterton]

With lots and lots of Kahlúa or Irish whiskey.

How can I get this mockingbird to stop mocking me?

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

Stop being ridiculous. Take yourself super seriously, so that the bird will realise the gravitas your person bears.

My wife's birthday is coming up, and I don't know what to get her. She didn't appreciate the frying pan last year, or the book on how to beca better wife before that. I am lost.

 

[Ceallaigh]

Get her something you would want as a gift for your birthday.

What's the easiest cheapest way for me to learn how to play a guitar?

 

[brinny]

just keep picking at the strings until a sound emerges that's reasonably tolerable, no matter how long it takes.

how do i decide which mushrooms are edible?

 

[Chesterton]

I looked up the dictionary definition of "edible", and all mushrooms are edible. You need to ask for more accurate advice.

How can I survive this period of high inflation?

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

Just look how countries survived the high inflation in Europe in the 20s after losing WWI, and vote accordingly.

How can I get these people to leave me alone?