Gay couple with no sex.

[Goatee]

What is the Catholic Church view of a gay couple living together, loving each other, but abstaining from sex ?

I know a couple of Gay Catholic couples who are strong Catholics. Don't know if they abstain from Sex though. I am sure the rule is that they live a Chaste life.

 

[MikeK]

I don't see why two homosexual men who are attracted to eachother and in love with eachother couldn't live together without sinning. Virtually all of the husband and wife Saints that we know of took vows of celibacy. It isn't the norm, but it is certainly possible for people who wish to serve the Lord. Being a homosexual is a heavy cross to carry, but I don't think it means that you must endure life alone.

This is an interesting piece by celibate Christian lesbians:

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/mercyn...st-by-sarah-and-lindsey-from-a-queer-calling/

Regarding temptation - if you think you can't live a chaste life with someone, don't live with that someone. We all know what temptations we can resist and which we can't. The kleptomaniac ought not shop alone and the alcoholic ought not have a drink and the gambling addict ought not enter the casino....but the rest of us can shop and have a beer and throw $10 in a video poker machine without a second thought. We must avoid what tempts us, but not what tempts others. Regarding scandal, what better witness could there be than two vocally celibate homosexual Christians sharing life but living for the Lord?

 

[benedictaoo]

I know a couple of Gay Catholic couples who are strong Catholics. Don't know if they abstain from Sex though. I am sure the rule is that they live a Chaste life.

and you know what... that is true. they only glitch I see is possible scandal for those who don't know what the arrangement is. I have seen many lesbian couples in Church. How chaste they are? Don't know, not my beeswax. They seem devote. I can only give them befit of the doubt. but there can be a general scandal if outsiders to the Church see them and then claim Catholics condone gay sexual relationships. It would be no different than two heterosexuals bringing scandal if they live together. It would be assumed they are having sex. Scandal is a problem for the Church caused by both gay and straight laity alike. Look, I do know nuns that I believe are lesbian but that doesn't mean they are involved romantically.

I guess we have a responsibility to not jump to conclusions and if Catholics knew their faith properly they would not assume. But I guess platonic gays living together has the same rule for them as hetros. Can a boyfriend and girlfriend live together and not have sex? is that okay? It really would be up to their pastor to instruct them.

When I was in RCIA there was a lesbian woman who was converting from the Unitarians and she implied that Fr. said her living situation was okay. I'm going to assume that meant as long as they were platonic. But now, maybe he told her homosexuality was accepted. Don't really know. This priest who assisted in my baptism, he did run off (left the priesthood) with the female Baptist hospital Chaplin he had met. I'm in such a unique position of knowing this stuff because of what I do for a living. We heard the gossip about this and low and behold he comes to my work with his fiancé. Not telling me who they were, (I knew) she showed off her engagement ring.

So anyway... it's the scandal it can bring.

 

[LivingWordUnity]

It's temptation for the two, and scandal for everyone else who only knows as much as they can see—that they are homosexuals and living together.

 

[benedictaoo]

same for heterosexuals to who live together.

 

[Goatee]

It's temptation for the two, and scandal for everyone else who only knows as much as they can see—that they are homosexuals and living together.

Mind your own business springs to mind!

 

[MikeK]

I'm not scandalized by anyone living together, because I don't presume to know what goes on in their bedroom. It doesn't really occur to me to consider it. They will do as they will, and they will reconcile it with God or they won't. Regarding temptation, I don't know who is and isn't tempted by what. Every person should avoid those temptations that might make them stumble. If lusting after their partner is one such temptation, then living together would be a bad idea.

 

[LivingWordUnity]

Mind your own business springs to mind!

That's something like what Cain said to God. Cain said, "Am I my brother's keeper?" Scandal is a real thing. We are supposed to care about the spiritual well-being of others. That's why Jesus warned us about it when He said:

"Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the man by whom the temptation comes! And if your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it from you; it is better for you to enter life maimed or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it from you; it is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire." (Matthew 18:5-9)

 

[Tallguy88]

I would seriously suggest avoiding buffets...or anything else that would tempt you to overeat.

I'm working on it. Down about three pounds in the last month.

Consider a heterosexual guy, living alone with a beautiful woman...they are attracted to each other...maybe they are even in love.
Tell me that, sooner or later, these "room mates" aren't going to find themselves "sleeping" in the same bed? Go ahead...tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies...tell me lies and give me alibis...

I didn't say they were not doing anything. I said you have no way of knowing they are doing anything if they don't tell you they are (or you have some other proof besides two people living together). How do you know the two people are attracted to each other? How do you know they are "in love" (presumably you mean Eros love)?

 

[MikeK]

That's something like what Cain said to God. Cain said, "Am I my brother's keeper?"

I wonder how people who refuse to admit error when corrected on their false teaching reconcile this message with themselves.

 

[Michie]

Lol! I think the comparison is a poor one. All I know is if any couple that love or are attracted to one another and live together, there is usually sex. When we were asking about homosexuality in the CCC it got into a long conversation about what we are discussing here and those were the answers we got. So don't shoot the messenger. Just telling you what we were told.

Everything is a temptation. Should I avoid buffets because I'm fat?

Edit: plus someone said "to avoid scandal". The roommates angle avoids the scandal and puts any "reading into" the situation on outsiders.

 

[Tallguy88]

I didn't think this subject was even allowed to be discussed save in specific forums, not including this one. That not even the word, "G" or "H", could be used outside those confines.

Homosexuality and gay marriage may be discussed in the Congregational forums, within the guidelines of each forum's Statement of Faith.

Here's the actual rule:

Topics Requiring Special Consideration:
Homosexuality may not be promoted* on Christian Forums. Homosexuality may only be discussed, without promotion, in our Congregation forums. Homosexuality may also be discussed in the Recovery and Ask a Chaplain forums solely for the purpose of seeking support with struggles overcoming same-sex attractions, and homosexual issues.

*Promotion is defined as encouragement of the progress, growth, or acceptance of something including advertising and publicity.

 

[Tallguy88]

It's temptation for the two, and scandal for everyone else who only knows as much as they can see—that they are homosexuals and living together.

But how do you know they are homosexuals if they don't talk publicly about their sexual preferences?

 

[Blank Stair]

Thanks for that.

 

[LivingWordUnity]

But how do you know they are homosexuals if they don't talk publicly about their sexual preferences?

If they don't talk publicly about it they are still putting themselves in a situation of daily temptation.

 

[Tallguy88]

I'm not scandalized by anyone living together, because I don't presume to know what goes on in their bedroom. It doesn't really occur to me to consider it. They will do as they will, and they will reconcile it with God or they won't. Regarding temptation, I don't know who is and isn't tempted by what. Every person should avoid those temptations that might make them stumble. If lusting after their partner is one such temptation, then living together would be a bad idea.

I had an older relative (since passed away) who was married for many years, had children, husband cheated on her, got divorced, then moved in with a woman who for the next twenty years was her "roommate" and they always were together, but never showed any public (or private, at least to family as far removed as myself) signs that they were more than best friends.

Do I think they may have been more? Maybe. Is it my business? Not a chance.

Btw, the roomate is still treated like family, even with my relative passed on.

 

[MikeK]

I had an older relative (since passed away) who was married for many years, had children, husband cheated on her, got divorced, then moved in with a woman who for the next twenty years was her "roommate" and they always were together, but never showed any public (or private, at least to family as far removed as myself) signs that they were more than best friends.

Do I think they may have been more? Maybe. Is it my business? Not a chance.

Btw, the roomate is still treated like family, even with my relative passed on.

I am sure your family was grateful that she found a partner to share her life with. There is so much more to relationships than sex, and for some reason we fixate on it so much. Loving, mutually beneficial relationships can exist with or without it.

 

[Tallguy88]

I am sure your family was grateful that she found a partner to share her life with. There is so much more to relationships than sex, and for some reason we fixate on it so much. Loving, mutually beneficial relationships can exist with or without it.

In classic greek thought (which is influential in Catholicism, esp via Scolasticism) there are four kinds of love, only one of them sexual:

Storge: Love between family members
Philia: Dispassionate love between friends
Eros: Sexual/sensual love, or love of beauty.
Agape: Unconditional love. This is the word used to describe God's love for humanity.

There is no way to know if they had Eros love for each other. There was no evidence or hinting of it that I am aware of. However, they very clearly had at least Storge, perhaps even Agape.

 

[LivingWordUnity]

Here's a somewhat similar scenario. What if a married man regularly goes to a bordello but doesn't have sex with the prostitutes there? He's putting himself in a situation of daily temptation, and sooner or later he is bound to give in to it.

 

[Mountain_Girl406]

Here's a somewhat similar scenario. What if a married man regularly goes to a strip club but doesn't have sex with the prostitutes there? He's putting himself in a situation of daily temptation, and sooner or later he is bound to give in to it.

Typically, the people who work at strip clubs aren't prostitutes.