- Dec 4, 2012
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This is somewhat of a rant since the steps I am taking to deal with it are to my knowledge the only thing I can do.
There are some events in church I already do not involve myself in. I do not go to meetings dealing with business or events going on in the parish because after going to one of them I am disgusted with how some of the people in my parish with the most influence behave, and I do not appreciate racist slurs hurled around or disrupting meetings with protests when representatives of the diocese are present and speaking and other such ridiculous behavior. It is unbelievable the things people will say and do, and much of it is not even political, but pure hatred and racism as is very common in the rural south of the United States. I have not lost much by avoiding such meetings because I am not too interested in them to begin with, but it still bothers me that some of these people are the ones with the most power in the parish and filling up the vestry.
The priest is still saying completely inappropriate things from the pulpit. It is unbelievable. There are some days I simply cannot believe what I am hearing. I have planned to make a meeting with him to speak about it, although I am nervous. I seem to have already greatly offended him for expressing a different viewpoint when he seems to be expressing erroneous views of what trinitarian theology entails or when he believes that during his earthly life Jesus was omniscient and only pretended to take on natural human limitations. I did not even directly correct him. In fact he asked my opinion, and I told him.
I am very concerned about the sorts of statements being made about Muslims and Jews, especially when combined with rhetoric about guns sometimes being the only way to solve our problems. I am not sure at this point I should risk speaking to him directly and should instead simply write the bishop.
There is not much I can do about these sermons unless I just want to stop going to church. I became a part of this parish because it was relatively sane compared to all my other options, but I am starting to wonder what is happening to this place. Our previous priest had his problems, but he did not say things like this.
I have managed to deal with these above issues for some time, but I am having personal problems with a particular member who will simply not leave me alone. I am considering withdrawing from the one discussion group I am a part of simply to avoid this person. (S)he is very wealthy and has all these plans for my life now that I have obtained a degree, and they are all very expensive or of no interest to me. I have been pressured to travel out of state multiple times (for $1000s!) to consider becoming a Catholic monk (even though I am an Anglican), even to give up my job and home to go and live with them! Or to pay thousands of dollars to get training for a job I am not interested in and not at all sure I would be competent in. The next thing is to give up my home and job (and cat) to go volunteer for a year to do community service for the Episcopal Church in a bigger city because there is a chance I *might* be able to find a new job and home afterward -- although it is very unlikely if I do such a thing that I would really be able to afford it because in that city prices are extremely high. It is simply not a risk I can dare take at this point in my life. And (s)he sneered about the job I currently have like it is not a respectable position (and many people in the place I live in cannot find employment at all, let alone full time employment), and I am simply disgusted that someone from the church would try to take this much control over my life, especially someone who has more money than (s)he knows what to do with and never had to work and has no clue whatsoever what is reasonable for me to risk or spend, and does not at all seem to care what I want to do with my life, nor has asked me whether I am actually happy or content as I am for the time being. I have no plans of rushing anything, but am steadily saving money.
And these are only the *least* crazy things this person has been doing. Some of the other stuff is actually a lot worse and involved wanting to practice New Age ideas on me for whatever reason, and I rejected it. I have stopped responding to texts and am probably going to drop out of any activities in the church in which I would run into this person. I have already said repeatedly that I am not interested in these things, nor are they reasonable options for me at this time in my life even if I happened to be interested. I do not want to be a priest. I do not want to be a monk. I do not want to spend thousands of dollars. I do not want to give up my job and home that I enjoy and feel safe in for risky ventures that someone else decides are best for me, especially when that person seems to be delusional.
I just feel like this parish culture has become toxic. I have not always had such problems with this parish, and I do not recall sermons always being this horrible and wrong. At this point I simply want to block out the homilies, avoid everyone, and simply focus on the liturgy and receiving the Eucharist. It is such a relief to receive the Eucharist and the only reason I go. But sometimes I simply feel disgusted with the church, the polemical sermons, hateful sentiments expressed toward minority races and cultures, the way I am being treated by someone of a higher socio-economic status who apparently thinks (s)he can take complete control over my life even though I am pretty sure that person must be awfully dense and obviously not nearly as competent as me in making decisions about my own finances, career, or vocation.
All of this has piled up on me quickly. It is too much. I am flabbergasted by the behavior of a few of these people who pride themselves on being such respectable members of the community. There are quite a few I can think of that I don't have any respect for at all regardless of their status in the community. Is this stuff even common in parish life?
I have not decided to leave my parish. Not that there would be anywhere else to go. But right now I have decided to involve myself in nothing other than receiving the Eucharist and do not care to become aquainted with or converse with anyone else.
There are some events in church I already do not involve myself in. I do not go to meetings dealing with business or events going on in the parish because after going to one of them I am disgusted with how some of the people in my parish with the most influence behave, and I do not appreciate racist slurs hurled around or disrupting meetings with protests when representatives of the diocese are present and speaking and other such ridiculous behavior. It is unbelievable the things people will say and do, and much of it is not even political, but pure hatred and racism as is very common in the rural south of the United States. I have not lost much by avoiding such meetings because I am not too interested in them to begin with, but it still bothers me that some of these people are the ones with the most power in the parish and filling up the vestry.
The priest is still saying completely inappropriate things from the pulpit. It is unbelievable. There are some days I simply cannot believe what I am hearing. I have planned to make a meeting with him to speak about it, although I am nervous. I seem to have already greatly offended him for expressing a different viewpoint when he seems to be expressing erroneous views of what trinitarian theology entails or when he believes that during his earthly life Jesus was omniscient and only pretended to take on natural human limitations. I did not even directly correct him. In fact he asked my opinion, and I told him.
I am very concerned about the sorts of statements being made about Muslims and Jews, especially when combined with rhetoric about guns sometimes being the only way to solve our problems. I am not sure at this point I should risk speaking to him directly and should instead simply write the bishop.
There is not much I can do about these sermons unless I just want to stop going to church. I became a part of this parish because it was relatively sane compared to all my other options, but I am starting to wonder what is happening to this place. Our previous priest had his problems, but he did not say things like this.
I have managed to deal with these above issues for some time, but I am having personal problems with a particular member who will simply not leave me alone. I am considering withdrawing from the one discussion group I am a part of simply to avoid this person. (S)he is very wealthy and has all these plans for my life now that I have obtained a degree, and they are all very expensive or of no interest to me. I have been pressured to travel out of state multiple times (for $1000s!) to consider becoming a Catholic monk (even though I am an Anglican), even to give up my job and home to go and live with them! Or to pay thousands of dollars to get training for a job I am not interested in and not at all sure I would be competent in. The next thing is to give up my home and job (and cat) to go volunteer for a year to do community service for the Episcopal Church in a bigger city because there is a chance I *might* be able to find a new job and home afterward -- although it is very unlikely if I do such a thing that I would really be able to afford it because in that city prices are extremely high. It is simply not a risk I can dare take at this point in my life. And (s)he sneered about the job I currently have like it is not a respectable position (and many people in the place I live in cannot find employment at all, let alone full time employment), and I am simply disgusted that someone from the church would try to take this much control over my life, especially someone who has more money than (s)he knows what to do with and never had to work and has no clue whatsoever what is reasonable for me to risk or spend, and does not at all seem to care what I want to do with my life, nor has asked me whether I am actually happy or content as I am for the time being. I have no plans of rushing anything, but am steadily saving money.
And these are only the *least* crazy things this person has been doing. Some of the other stuff is actually a lot worse and involved wanting to practice New Age ideas on me for whatever reason, and I rejected it. I have stopped responding to texts and am probably going to drop out of any activities in the church in which I would run into this person. I have already said repeatedly that I am not interested in these things, nor are they reasonable options for me at this time in my life even if I happened to be interested. I do not want to be a priest. I do not want to be a monk. I do not want to spend thousands of dollars. I do not want to give up my job and home that I enjoy and feel safe in for risky ventures that someone else decides are best for me, especially when that person seems to be delusional.
I just feel like this parish culture has become toxic. I have not always had such problems with this parish, and I do not recall sermons always being this horrible and wrong. At this point I simply want to block out the homilies, avoid everyone, and simply focus on the liturgy and receiving the Eucharist. It is such a relief to receive the Eucharist and the only reason I go. But sometimes I simply feel disgusted with the church, the polemical sermons, hateful sentiments expressed toward minority races and cultures, the way I am being treated by someone of a higher socio-economic status who apparently thinks (s)he can take complete control over my life even though I am pretty sure that person must be awfully dense and obviously not nearly as competent as me in making decisions about my own finances, career, or vocation.
All of this has piled up on me quickly. It is too much. I am flabbergasted by the behavior of a few of these people who pride themselves on being such respectable members of the community. There are quite a few I can think of that I don't have any respect for at all regardless of their status in the community. Is this stuff even common in parish life?
I have not decided to leave my parish. Not that there would be anywhere else to go. But right now I have decided to involve myself in nothing other than receiving the Eucharist and do not care to become aquainted with or converse with anyone else.
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