I wrestle with a lot of issues, when trying to sort through Christian doctrine. As I discuss this topic, one thing to keep in mind is that part of why I fell away from faith is the goodness/perfection/love of God became a question for me. I cannot see it, the evidence I look for does not lead me toward belief in a God who is credited as these things.
Free Will is just one of those things promised by the Christian faith that makes me feel very angry. It might not bother me as much if we humans really did have a less tainted brand of free will. Christians keep going on and on about how important it is, so I guess one question is, how important is this Free Will thing, anyway, given how much it's played up in Christian doctrine?
As a starting point, consider those moments where it's suggested that Free Will is taken away from us; I'll go for the simplest, most immediate and problematic example: God Hardened the Pharaoh's Heart. I'm sure we could quibble about the details of this, how much of it was God or the Pharaoh, variations of the translation that are better, but the fact of the matter is that God has permitted this translation to proliferate, so we are left with evidence that God interferes with Free Will, which takes away from it's importance to Him (I actually consider it insulting; if it's so important, there should be a blanket hands-off approach which should be easy for Him, otherwise He/Christians would be more helpfully honest about the importance of Free Will separate from His Will). If the Free Will we are promised only applies to The Choice to accept or reject Him at the core of everything else, that needs to be clarified and understood by Him or us. I'm very unhappy with the way things stand, in this regard.
And this is without even going the next step, and considering Free Will in conjunction with the problem of Mental Illness. From where I stand, it looks to me like certain levels of Mental Illness (to the extent it debilitates a person's perspective of the world, or debilitates their ability to reasonably navigate their lives in this world) are an unacceptable taint against the promise of Free Will. Imagine trying to tell a schizophrenic not to be paranoid about God who watches over us all the time, or imagine God himself trying to communicate that. Why let the poor sod be schizophrenic in the first place, so that they literally cannot stop themselves being paranoid. What about someone with a clinically high level of Depression; who has to fight day in and day out to tell himself, against his own (God given? ruined?) instincts that the world isn't that bad, it's just his perspective that is skewed from everyone elses.
I'm sure we know there are ways of fixing these problems, but it's not that simple because sometimes the very process of going about solving these kinds of problems is not remotely on the order of someone simply reflecting on their character and resolving to change themselves.
I think I'm saying that this issue of Free Will is a problematic promise, because from where I stand, it's been too badly tainted. A poisoned promise. I wonder what the point was in posting this, because it doesn't feel like God is concerned about Free Will. What about all of you, how important is Free Will, and in what ways do we rationalize/justify what looks (to me) like imperfection in our ability to exercise our Free Will with good information, perspective about the world, and with reasonable effort?
I obsess with wanting to see Him living in a body with a brain that is hindered by distraction, depression, anxiety, obsession, schizophrenia; any of it, different combinations of these afflictions, even to debilitating levels. Would He want to be loved by me in such a way? Am I to believe that this is the way He shows love, and how could I possibly feel otherwise than in wanting to show it back to Him in exactly the same way? I don't feel loved, this doesn't feel like love. I want the Free Will that I've been promised.
Free Will is just one of those things promised by the Christian faith that makes me feel very angry. It might not bother me as much if we humans really did have a less tainted brand of free will. Christians keep going on and on about how important it is, so I guess one question is, how important is this Free Will thing, anyway, given how much it's played up in Christian doctrine?
As a starting point, consider those moments where it's suggested that Free Will is taken away from us; I'll go for the simplest, most immediate and problematic example: God Hardened the Pharaoh's Heart. I'm sure we could quibble about the details of this, how much of it was God or the Pharaoh, variations of the translation that are better, but the fact of the matter is that God has permitted this translation to proliferate, so we are left with evidence that God interferes with Free Will, which takes away from it's importance to Him (I actually consider it insulting; if it's so important, there should be a blanket hands-off approach which should be easy for Him, otherwise He/Christians would be more helpfully honest about the importance of Free Will separate from His Will). If the Free Will we are promised only applies to The Choice to accept or reject Him at the core of everything else, that needs to be clarified and understood by Him or us. I'm very unhappy with the way things stand, in this regard.
And this is without even going the next step, and considering Free Will in conjunction with the problem of Mental Illness. From where I stand, it looks to me like certain levels of Mental Illness (to the extent it debilitates a person's perspective of the world, or debilitates their ability to reasonably navigate their lives in this world) are an unacceptable taint against the promise of Free Will. Imagine trying to tell a schizophrenic not to be paranoid about God who watches over us all the time, or imagine God himself trying to communicate that. Why let the poor sod be schizophrenic in the first place, so that they literally cannot stop themselves being paranoid. What about someone with a clinically high level of Depression; who has to fight day in and day out to tell himself, against his own (God given? ruined?) instincts that the world isn't that bad, it's just his perspective that is skewed from everyone elses.
I'm sure we know there are ways of fixing these problems, but it's not that simple because sometimes the very process of going about solving these kinds of problems is not remotely on the order of someone simply reflecting on their character and resolving to change themselves.
I think I'm saying that this issue of Free Will is a problematic promise, because from where I stand, it's been too badly tainted. A poisoned promise. I wonder what the point was in posting this, because it doesn't feel like God is concerned about Free Will. What about all of you, how important is Free Will, and in what ways do we rationalize/justify what looks (to me) like imperfection in our ability to exercise our Free Will with good information, perspective about the world, and with reasonable effort?
I obsess with wanting to see Him living in a body with a brain that is hindered by distraction, depression, anxiety, obsession, schizophrenia; any of it, different combinations of these afflictions, even to debilitating levels. Would He want to be loved by me in such a way? Am I to believe that this is the way He shows love, and how could I possibly feel otherwise than in wanting to show it back to Him in exactly the same way? I don't feel loved, this doesn't feel like love. I want the Free Will that I've been promised.