Focused On The Wrong Thing

[PeculiarTreasure]

Have you felt like like you were just too focused on trying to find someone that you didn't take time to enjoy other things?

I recently joined a coed bible study group through my church and it seems everytime I go I'm just focused on finding a guy instead of Jesus and the lesson and the real reason I should be there. It's so frustrating.

How do you deal with it and get passed it?

 

[Tylorick]

I was.. now I realize how important it is just to have Jesus in my life. focus on Him and all will fall in place.. God will bless you in His timing...

 

[GuacaMolly]

Join a women's Bible study

Lol, in all seriousness though, if you feel that you are more focused on trying to find someone to be with than seeking God's face, I'd do whatever it takes to change that. It starts with praying. I pray every day for God to make what he wants for me the desires of my heart, and I promise you that if you pray that in earnest, you will actually see a change in what you want. I know that because I've experienced it, but it is still a growth process that happens over time.

I used to feel that way, but after I gave that particular worry to God, I felt this overwhelming peace over it. I just feel that if God's best is out there for me, it won't be something I have to stress about making happen, or worry about messing up. Which is awesome, because I mess up a lot!

 

[Zephyralder]

Join a women's Bible study

Lol, in all seriousness though, if you feel that you are more focused on trying to find someone to be with than seeking God's face, I'd do whatever it takes to change that. It starts with praying. I pray every day for God to make what he wants for me the desires of my heart, and I promise you that if you pray that in earnest, you will actually see a change in what you want. I know that because I've experienced it, but it is still a growth process that happens over time.

I used to feel that way, but after I gave that particular worry to God, I felt this overwhelming peace over it. I just feel that if God's best is out there for me, it won't be something I have to stress about making happen, or worry about messing up. Which is awesome, because I mess up a lot!

Yeah, what she said.

I know that I have searched for that certain someone and have had that be a priority over many other important things. I think that it's a constant renewal process of putting your trust in God and His will for your life. I know we all look for certain things, or quirks, but God knows what we need exactly. So even if we are attracted to somebody, it's amazing to know that we can trust in God to continue providing for our needs. It's hard to type this and not take it to heart myself, because it hits so close to home, but look at all the things God has done for you thus far, why not trust him for the rest? Patience and trusting in God helps us to be more content in Him.

 

[MrsSeptemberPenguin]

I think many of us struggle with that. We try to take things into our own hands instead of being patient and waiting on God and His timing. I'm very much guilty of this too. The best thing I have found though is too pray, pray about your future spouse, pray for them, pray that God will guide your relationships, that He'll take your heart and only give it to the person it needs to be given too. Pray that He will become your primary focus. Listening to praise and worship, reading my Bible, things like that help me to see better who God is and have more of a desire to know Him and fall in love with Him. I just can't see Him leaving us hanging. He sent is only Son to die for us, so I don't see why he wouldn't take care of the little things in life that bother us too

 

[BoarderDave]

Oh wow.. I do this all too often. Im always focussed on the wrong stuff in life.

Help me!

 

[Thomas1984]

Oh wow.. I do this all too often. Im always focussed on the wrong stuff in life.

Help me!

Well, you could start by selling your BMW and giving the money to me - I mean er, a worthy cause (like me )



In regard to the OP; I think in practical terms, the best remedy would be to remove the source of the distraction, in this instance by joining a women's study group, as Molly suggested.

Although, this might help you in a deeper way, by giving you the chance to ask other women how they deal with this particular challenge....

 

[Alphawolf]

Wow this is such a hard question to answer. I do appreciate everyone's response, but this I think some more in-depth answers are needed! She could join 50 other bible studies and focus on Jesus 100% in all 50. Does she really have to focus 100% on Jesus in this one? I have the same problem.

WHOEVER RESPONDS USE SCRIPTURE TY!

 

[kingoffools13]

lol well i guess i'm kinda lucky here, i've never once been distracted by the boys in a Bible study ... or anywhere else for that matter.

Perhaps you need to start a little girls study group?

K
O
f

 

[Im_A]

Have you felt like like you were just too focused on trying to find someone that you didn't take time to enjoy other things?

I recently joined a coed bible study group through my church and it seems everytime I go I'm just focused on finding a guy instead of Jesus and the lesson and the real reason I should be there. It's so frustrating.

How do you deal with it and get passed it?

sometimes i wonder if my life was so focused on finding a woman that i missed the world itself.

but when love goes away you realize, there is more to life, than the love you once had, the loves you've once had, the hopes for love, the longing for a woman, that you just wave goodbye to those hopes and look forward to embracing the world/life itself.

how do i deal with it? well, realizing the fact that you've forgotten about everything else in your life but finding some relationship is a start.

the next step? if it really matters to you that you have done what you said, then act upon it. don't let some cute/godly person detere you away. there's no exscuse one can give in the end for letting something/someone detere them. when they let them detere them away from their goals, then their goal isn't what you thought it was and it was for the what you gave into. in this example, your desire at the time was not a bible study or learning about jesus, it was about finding a guy. if you feel bad for it, then don't do it again, and stay focused on what you want.

 

[Im_A]

Have you felt like like you were just too focused on trying to find someone that you didn't take time to enjoy other things?

I recently joined a coed bible study group through my church and it seems everytime I go I'm just focused on finding a guy instead of Jesus and the lesson and the real reason I should be there. It's so frustrating.

How do you deal with it and get passed it?

Wow this is such a hard question to answer. I do appreciate everyone's response, but this I think some more in-depth answers are needed! She could join 50 other bible studies and focus on Jesus 100% in all 50. Does she really have to focus 100% on Jesus in this one? I have the same problem.

WHOEVER RESPONDS USE SCRIPTURE TY!

does it take Bible scrpture to prove how irrational it is to be focused to go and learn about Jesus when one gets distracted by their other goals with Jesus or God, because they see some guy that is either some cute godly man and an interest goes to the guy then at that time for learning about Jesus?

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

sometimes i wonder if my life was so focused on finding a woman that i missed the world itself.

but when love goes away you realize, there is more to life, than the love you once had, the loves you've once had, the hopes for love, the longing for a woman, that you just wave goodbye to those hopes and look forward to embracing the world/life itself.

how do i deal with it? well, realizing the fact that you've forgotten about everything else in your life but finding some relationship is a start.

the next step? if it really matters to you that you have done what you said, then act upon it. don't let some cute/godly person detere you away. there's no exscuse one can give in the end for letting something/someone detere them. when they let them detere them away from their goals, then their goal isn't what you thought it was and it was for the what you gave into. in this example, your desire at the time was not a bible study or learning about jesus, it was about finding a guy. if you feel bad for it, then don't do it again, and stay focused on what you want.

That makes a lot of sense! Thanks for posting.

 

[JPPT1974]

Focus on the Lord as
He will lead and guide you
To focus on the right things
Is all that I can tell you my friend
See if that works as it should!

 

[Evie1980]

Wow this is such a hard question to answer. I do appreciate everyone's response, but this I think some more in-depth answers are needed! She could join 50 other bible studies and focus on Jesus 100% in all 50. Does she really have to focus 100% on Jesus in this one? I have the same problem.

WHOEVER RESPONDS USE SCRIPTURE TY!

Jesus said it in Matthew 6:24
24"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other.

When we go to Bible study we need to ask ourselves what is it that we are there to do? If you are there to serve the Lord and give Him praise and worship then that is what you should do but if you are there to find a man (or woman) then who are you really serving? If we spend our time focused on ourselves and our needs are we truly worshipping God? How can we say that my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus (Phillipians 4:19) yet sit there searching the seats next to us looking for 'the one'? Am I choosing to 'help' God find me someone by going to a coed Bible study? Can God only provide for me half the time and I need to do the rest? Yes she sould sign up to 50, 100, 1000 Bible studies but the point will always be who are you serving there - you or God?

When we go to praise God we should be devoted to our time of praise. Just as much as when I visit my mother she likes me to focus on her, so does God. If I spent my time talking on my mobile phone or the internet or listening to my ipod when I went to visit my mother you would think that I was a rude and selfish daughter yet when I enter a time of praise and worship it is ok for me to be self seeking and searching for a man to date?

Of course we all struggle with this but you have to decide what is best for you. It may be better to join a female's Bible study and then socialise with people from the coed group in a non Bible study situation which enables you to search for a man without interfering with your time with God. It is up to you what you decide what is the right answer but your time with God is precious. He sees it that way. God loves the fact that you want to learn more about Him and are seeking to put Him above all others. I hope and pray that you find a way to do this.

And I will leave you with this Bible verse from Paul -
Philipians 4vs8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

May your heart always be pure in the sight of the Lord.

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

Jesus said it in Matthew 6:24
24"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other.

When we go to Bible study we need to ask ourselves what is it that we are there to do? If you are there to serve the Lord and give Him praise and worship then that is what you should do but if you are there to find a man (or woman) then who are you really serving? If we spend our time focused on ourselves and our needs are we truly worshipping God? How can we say that my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus (Phillipians 4:19) yet sit there searching the seats next to us looking for 'the one'? Am I choosing to 'help' God find me someone by going to a coed Bible study? Can God only provide for me half the time and I need to do the rest? Yes she sould sign up to 50, 100, 1000 Bible studies but the point will always be who are you serving there - you or God?

When we go to praise God we should be devoted to our time of praise. Just as much as when I visit my mother she likes me to focus on her, so does God. If I spent my time talking on my mobile phone or the internet or listening to my ipod when I went to visit my mother you would think that I was a rude and selfish daughter yet when I enter a time of praise and worship it is ok for me to be self seeking and searching for a man to date?

Of course we all struggle with this but you have to decide what is best for you. It may be better to join a female's Bible study and then socialise with people from the coed group in a non Bible study situation which enables you to search for a man without interfering with your time with God. It is up to you what you decide what is the right answer but your time with God is precious. He sees it that way. God loves the fact that you want to learn more about Him and are seeking to put Him above all others. I hope and pray that you find a way to do this.

And I will leave you with this Bible verse from Paul -
Philipians 4vs8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

May your heart always be pure in the sight of the Lord.

Thanks for this. Makes a ton of sense.

 

[ChrisB803]

I'd have to say most anyone who is single and doesn't want to be will struggle with this. Biblical truth is that we're to seek first God's Kingdom and His righteousness and all the other details will be provided. That includes the mate God has for us.

It's been only recently that I feel like I've really been able to let go of that desire and focus on God. Right now I'm at a place where I'm kind of avoiding girls I'm attracted to, because I feel like I need to let God have His rightful place.

A good friend calls it the 'triangle effect'. Imagine God as the top point of the triangle, with you and your intended as the bottom points. Just keep looking to God and you'll meet when you find Him.

I hope that helps.

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

I'd have to say most anyone who is single and doesn't want to be will struggle with this. Biblical truth is that we're to seek first God's Kingdom and His righteousness and all the other details will be provided. That includes the mate God has for us.

It's been only recently that I feel like I've really been able to let go of that desire and focus on God. Right now I'm at a place where I'm kind of avoiding girls I'm attracted to, because I feel like I need to let God have His rightful place.

A good friend calls it the 'triangle effect'. Imagine God as the top point of the triangle, with you and your intended as the bottom points. Just keep looking to God and you'll meet when you find Him.

I hope that helps.

Thanks for posting. May I ask how you got to this point? I've never dated anybody so it's all the more harder.

That's a good way look at it. Thanks!