Explain a mood swing

[J0SHUA]

Please explain what happens when you're experiencing a mood swing, including the emotions and bodily sensations. I have some kind of mood swing problem related to self-esteem/self-hatred and BPD seems like the only possibility, but I haven't been diagnosed. For me, if I am sensing I am unwanted or disliked by someone I have respect for, or if it has happened in the past and I recall it, I sometimes get into this crazy helpless mode where I feel overwhelming hatred and anger at myself. I feel I have to be perfect and exactly what they want or else I'm worthless trash that's going to be abandoned. The worst part of it is that I got no support from the other person during such mood swings, feeling further abandoned and neglected. Warmth spreads throughout my entire body and my veins feel fuzzy throughout my entire body. Like a panic attack in the form of self hatred and anger. And the helplessness increases the anger. What can I possibly do? I'm just a crazy person in the eyes of others and at the same time I can't run from myself. I try to control the emotions and calm down but I can't because I can't deal with the reality of being worthless trash being tossed aside. I get stuck and am left with hellish self-hatred, receiving only neglect and a lack of concern and care from others. My body then feels like exploding from the heat, and I can't run away from the feeling. The best I can attempt to make someone understand is to imagine the angriest they've ever been, except all that anger was toward them self and there was nothing they could do. Eventually my thoughts will suddenly be more rational and I look back wondering why my thoughts got so screwed up like that. What could this be if my therapist doesn't think it's BPD? I sort of feel like nobody truly loves me and I will always be abandoned by everyone that gets to know me. How can I overcome whatever this is? I have tried mindfulness during a mood swing but that didn't stop the rushing feelings of self-hatred and the anger of others not helping and understanding me. These mood swings are the most hellish experiences I've ever had and I can't let them ruin my life.

 

[bhsmte]

Please explain what happens when you're experiencing a mood swing, including the emotions and bodily sensations. I have some kind of mood swing problem related to self-esteem/self-hatred and BPD seems like the only possibility, but I haven't been diagnosed. For me, if I am sensing I am unwanted or disliked by someone I have respect for, or if it has happened in the past and I recall it, I sometimes get into this crazy helpless mode where I feel overwhelming hatred and anger at myself. I feel I have to be perfect and exactly what they want or else I'm worthless trash that's going to be abandoned. The worst part of it is that I got no support from the other person during such mood swings, feeling further abandoned and neglected. Warmth spreads throughout my entire body and my veins feel fuzzy throughout my entire body. Like a panic attack in the form of self hatred and anger. And the helplessness increases the anger. What can I possibly do? I'm just a crazy person in the eyes of others and at the same time I can't run from myself. I try to control the emotions and calm down but I can't because I can't deal with the reality of being worthless trash being tossed aside. I get stuck and am left with hellish self-hatred, receiving only neglect and a lack of concern and care from others. My body then feels like exploding from the heat, and I can't run away from the feeling. The best I can attempt to make someone understand is to imagine the angriest they've ever been, except all that anger was toward them self and there was nothing they could do. Eventually my thoughts will suddenly be more rational and I look back wondering why my thoughts got so screwed up like that. What could this be if my therapist doesn't think it's BPD? I sort of feel like nobody truly loves me and I will always be abandoned by everyone that gets to know me. How can I overcome whatever this is? I have tried mindfulness during a mood swing but that didn't stop the rushing feelings of self-hatred and the anger of others not helping and understanding me. These mood swings are the most hellish experiences I've ever had and I can't let them ruin my life.

Extreme mood swings can be part of BPD, but mood swings alone don't mean you have BPD. Causes can be chemical imbalances in your brain or learned behaviors from being exposed to certain environmental conditions.

Any drastic changes in mood are going to push people away from you and cause them a great deal of frustration.

If these mood swings are negatively impacting your life, you should be checked out by a trained psychologist.

 

[J0SHUA]

Extreme mood swings can be part of BPD, but mood swings alone don't mean you have BPD. Causes can be chemical imbalances in your brain or learned behaviors from being exposed to certain environmental conditions.

Any drastic changes in mood are going to push people away from you and cause them a great deal of frustration.

If these mood swings are negatively impacting your life, you should be checked out by a trained psychologist.

Thanks, but what I'm looking for is a description of how someone with BPD feels during a mood swing to compare to mine. I had a good day today, and a good talk with my therapist, and surprisingly she seemed to understand what I was trying to explain to her, about the helpless anger at self but not being able to run from myself. It was very nice to feel like she understood when it felt like nobody could. She gave me a lot of helpful advice and I feel I am making improvements and am slowly getting out of this. It is a constant struggle that I've had for a while now, and I have fallen so many times, but thankfully I have gotten up every time and am finding my way out. I'm still interested in how a BPD sufferer experiences an intense mood swing if someone does not mind answering.