Emotionally abusive friend.

[Live_For_Christ]

Lately, my friends are all changing alot. Like... they've all started smoking and doing drugs and I'm concerned. And sometimes they try to get me to go out drinking or smoking with them. A year ago, everything was fine. We'd go to youth group every week and everything was fine. And then they just changed.
Now, one of the friends is always being rude to me and she's constantly putting me down and making me feel stupid and useless. She only talks to me anymore if I'm the only one around or if she needs something and she makes me feel as if her life would be better if I was just dead. She constantly calls me stupid and a "f*** up" and tells me I need to lose weight. She calls me a loser and dense. And she's not joking. She's serious. And sometimes I feel like she's right until someone else tries to set me straight. I honestly feel like I'm being emotionally abused.
I recently got her out of my life because everyone said that she was being abusive to me and everything was fine afterwards. And then I felt like a horrible person and went back to her. And it started again. For a while, I thought I was going to have to go to therapy, but everything worked out fine in the end. And now it's all screwed up again. And I'm too scared to tell anyone else, because I don't want to have to go to therapy.
Recently I've decided that I'm not taking it anymore and if I've beat her once, I can beat her again. I know I have to help them and try to bring them back to God, but if I keep doing it I'm going to have a breakdown. I can't keep doing this and it's hurting me so bad. This is the 5th time in a row that I've come home from school in tears because of her. What do I do?

 

[horseluva42792]

I think that if she acts like that then she isn't a true friend. Just because she screwed up her life doesn't mean she can screw up yours!

 

[Anti Existance]

With friends like that who needs enemies? Look , i've been thru the whole thing you are going thru now. They show you a world 'seemingly' full of happyness ,wonder and beauty. I will give you the same warning as that my teacher gave me. Watch out, if you are young you are susceptible to what other people say. If your friends force you to do something you really don't want to do then they are not friend. Selfishness is the only drive of most people , when you end up dead by using cocaine they just say' oh ,its her own fault for being a stupid *****' so if things go wrong you'll get a kick in the butt afterwards, when they say the following 'c'mon don't be ... or give it a try' then you know its time to walk away. Young people don't look at the long term future. Getting your diploma , a stable enviroment, people who bring love and light in your life.

My friend went on shrooms, almost wanted to kill himself. A brothers friend that i know jumped off a building and managed to kill himself while doing drugs. Another friend got chased by a naked guy with a amazone knife.

Drugs gives a short rush,like alcohol and sigarretes it creates a spiritual dependency. And then you will feel unhappier then ever afterwards, needing more drugs but no matter how much you take it will never make you feel happy, that's because life is rigged. Its like throwing the wrong kind of fuel in a car, nothing in the universe can make you happy exept love , which is God. And you can take my word , or you can try it and find out for yourselves. Those friends of yours are worthless, friends are supposed to be loving,supporting,and helpfull. You are clearly not strong enough to bring this friend of yours back to God. I suggest you find support and strenght with your REAL family and Church in order to recooperate from those terrrible things they have done to you.

 

[James4210]

Its bad news in my experience, people that are emotionally abusive, ,manipulative and unkind. are like that because they are dealing with the problems in there own life, by causing harm and distress to those around them. They are not bad people being emotionally abusive does not come out of thin air. You can bet your life that her parents or someone close to her is emotionally abusive to her. You are lucky because you getting experience of the harm that your friend is causing you. better to learn now, than get married to guy who acts the same way.

 

[bethdinsmore]

The only way you need to help them is prayer. God has plenty of people who can help them in other ways, if and when they reach out.

I've been in situations like this, even with my parents. Eventually I had to break off my relationship with my Dad because it was so toxic that I was no longer growing in the Lord.

If you feel like you can't withdraw from them or feel compelled to fix any of them, you could well be codependent. (Enmeshed). The sooner you stop that, the better it will be for you (believe me I know). And the better that things are for you, the more you will be able to serve and love Him and others. For a codependent person, a Christian counselor is a great help, and so are Christian recovery groups like Overcomers Outreach.

You won't be able to change your friends. Only God can do that, and it will probably involve a breaking process for them, at this point.

I'll add my prayers to yours, friend. Aloha in Jesus

 

[thepianist]

As hard as it may be, you need to stay away from this so-called friend. A true friend isn't what you have described. You should pray for the "friends" who have all changed....but you need to find some friends who are on the same 'page' as you. God bless you dear, I will be praying for you.