Do you let your daughters wear jeans?

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

I'm posting this in a number of ways on different forums to get a wide opinion on it.

A woman who I boarded with for a number of weeks prohibits her daughters (aged 28, 23 and 20) to wear jeans. She will not let them buy any, nor borrow. I was wearing jeans the whole time, and was given a lot of 'advice' about why I shouldn't be. I didn't listen - I love my jeans, and seeing they were baggy and did not show an inch of skin (or my g-string - shock horror), I kept wearing them.

I just wanted to know - does anyone else have these issues (ie either as parents with girls, or had it from their mums)? How do you deal with it?

What are peoples opinions of jeans on women? All the men I know said that they dont have problems with jeans, provided they aren't those 'brazillian' ones you see on most of the pre-teens around here (you know the ones - you'd need a brazillian to get away with it - and an ultra low v-string!!!)


I don't want this to be a catfight or anything - I just want to know why some women won't let their daughters wear them, and others don't find a problem with them...


Sasch

 

[selune]

I'd rather my daughters wear jeans. Especially the tomboy 6 year old who doesn't always sit lady-like LOL! I think jeans are more comfortable and keep your legs warmer in the winter. I had a job teaching in a private school though where I had to wear below the knee skirts or dresses only. So there are those out there that have a proble with pants of any sort being not proper.

 

[pmcleanj]

I have two daughters, age 8 and 11. I'm a relatively liberal mainstream Christian who works outside the home as a professional engineer (that's just for context). When and where I was a girl, girls didn't wear trousers except for chores or sports. They became fashionable when I was finishing elementary school, but my mother wouldn't let me wear them until I was in Junior High. I don't remember caring much one way or the other, but I got in the habit of wearing dresses and skirts.

I do not wear jeans. In fact, the only bifurcated clothing I own are a pair of Tilley cullottes for horseback riding, and a pair of Nomex coveralls for site visits to gas plants (they set off my yellow hard-hat and steel-toed boots beautifully!) I also don't cut my hair. Several times I've been mistaken for a Holiness Pentecostal (by other Holiness Pentecostals!) when I'm really just doing what comes comfortably for me.

I don't have my daughters wearing jeans, with one exception. With the same exception, if I had sons, I wouldn't have them wearing jeans either. The exception of course is when they're horseback riding. Jeans are perfect for riding, with long-sleeved cotton shirts. For school, they aren't appropriate: they're too constraining for sports and physical play, don't wear well in the long run due to the soft-core wrapped-cotton fibres, aren't crisp enough to promote a "businesslike" attitude in academic classes, aren't warm enough to protect the legs at -30C, aren't individual enough to express any personal taste. They are great for the barn, though.

When my darling daughters were tiny, they wore tunic-style overdresses over a blouse, with matching pantalons. This isn't because I have religious objections to girl-toddlers showing their ankles, but because they had super-fair skin and chemical sensitivities, and I was protecting them from sunburn without being able to use chemical sunscreens. When they got older they rebelled against the pantalons, and later against the overdresses. Most of the time they wear cotton-knit or cotton-fleece pants with coordinating shirts (and are still fully protected against the sun, so I'm fine with that). If they ever decide that they can't live without bluejeans, I'll probably shrug and tell them they can earn five cents a root digging dandelions out of the neighbourhood lawns. 400 dandelions will earn you a pair of jeans from Walmart. Or I might provide the bluejeans out of the goodness of my heart: I don't feel any obligation to buy clothes for my daughters that I dislike, but I occasionally indulge the girls just because I enjoy it. Bluejeans are not a hill I plan to die on.

At 20,23 or 28, the right response to one's mother telling one what one may or may not wear is to say "I'm sorry you feel that way Mama. Let me know before you come to visit, and I'll let you know whether I'm wearing any so you can choose whether to come. 'Bye!" Daughters who don't have the independent responsibility to choose their own clothes by that age, can hardly be considered evidence of effective parenting choices on their parents' part. Based on that evidence, I'd suggest you smile sweetly at the controlling Mama's advice to you, and ignore it.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

PMCleanJ,

THAT is an explanation I understand! Thank you for sharing with me your reasons - I know it's not a 'hardhitting' topic, but I was interested in hearing from women who don't wear jeans (other than those with religious beliefs), and your explanation was great - thank you...

And I bet you look great at the gas plants!

Sasch

 

[Celticflower]

Both of my kids (a girl and a boy) wear jeans. I don't see any problem--as long as they are not hip huggers or other low rider jeans teamed with a super short crop top. My daughter is a bit of a tomboy and her favorite outfits are jeans, t-shirt and sneakers. The denim helps protect her legs while climbing trees or crawling through a cave with her Dad. But each parent must make decisions such as this based on their own beliefs and their children styles, habits and, as one mother did, medical conditions. As long as the clothing is clean, comfortable and age appropriate there should be no problem. Just remember--Kids are wash and wear, not dry clean only creatures.

As for a mother telling daughters over the age of 21 what they can or cannot wear--that lady needs to cut the apron strings and let the girls grow up and out of the nest. You can't keep them little for ever.

Celtie

 

[kitkat60]

I only have sons....but I wear jeans so I can't imagine why I would tell daughters they couldn't. Is she saying no to all jeans or just tight lowcut provocative ones? And yeah the fact that they are over 21.....that is definitely a little odd.

 

[LadyDJ]

Both of my daughters can wear jeans, finding some that fit them and are age appropriate is another story. I just don't think that an 8 and 10 year old need to be wearing low rise hip huggers, but unfortunately, both girls are as tall or taller than a lot of pre-teens and teens. The oldest is definitely anti-dresses and prefers to wear shorts or capris (weather permitting), the youngest is a girly-girl and would wear dresses all the time if I let her...getting her to wear jeans is the problem lol

 

[Suzannah]

Very interesting. A 28 year old woman is still allowing her mother to dictate her wardrobe.....odd to me, but okay!

I have no problems with jeans and in fact prefer them for my eight year old. They are far less revealing/immodest than many of the "feminine" outfits for young girls. She wears regular straight leg jeans...no low dippers, and no hip huggers, not tight, but comfortable. She is not allowed to wear midriff tops, or items that have stupid/inane sayings on them like "hot princess" or whatever vapid things they come up with these days. She wears jeans and modest shirts and is perfectly normal and adjusted. Her dresses for church are on the modest side, length below knees, etc. She would wear jeans to church if I let her....

 

[Gerry_NY]

Well, it seems I am the only male to reply to this post so far...
I allow my 3 daughters to wear jeans. I see no harm in it as long as they are not painted on. Though I hate the "skater" look with the raggedy pant leg bottoms, I allow them to wear jeans.
I understand some of the charismatics believe women should only wear dresses, but I find no biblical basis behind this thinking.

 

[christianmom]

I have only sons and I do wear jeans. I know several mothers that only allow thier daughters to wear dresses. They feel convicted to do so and feel they should based on what they feel is modest. Most families that are "dresses only" feel that to wear pants shows too much shape and could be tempting for males. The bible tells us not to do anything that would cause a brother to stumble and it does tell women to be modest. The problem is that each of us has a different opinion of what modest is. I know if I had daughters I would not allow them to wear half the things I see girls wear now, such as tight stretchy shirts, low rise pants, short shorts, etc. I don't believe they are modest. Since I don't see the Bible addressing what the modern day woman should wear to be modest, I think we all must pray about it for our families and take the leading from them.

Question: Was the mother dictating what the adult daughters were to wear or were they wearing only dresses because they were raised that way and did it out of habit and their own convictions?

 

[pimorton]

Didn't Jesus Himself tell us not to worry about what to wear? I have a daughter, only four years old right now, but I have no problem with her wearing appropriate jeans. I have even allowed her to wear jeans to church =0 They are comfortable, and though I rarely wore them to school myself, I don't see why my children shouldn't be comfortable when they want to be. I will insert here, though, that my daughter is a girly-girl, and is more likely to choose a dress to wear on Sunday morning than a dress. She wanted to wear a skirt to Wednesday night church this week.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

The mother had it against ALL trouser type pants - the only time the girls could wear them were if they were at work (they were all nurses and that was the most sensible form of uniform for the wards they were in) or in their own house - but NEVER EVER jeans (and that was any form).

The oldest girl got married at 28 and the hubby did not want her wearing jeans - and she never argued and never wears any form of pants.

The middle daughter is still at home at 23 and never wears any form of pants - without argument. Both of these daughters have the type of personaility which accept rules without question and never think to question things they hear (very conservative growing up, strict presbyterian calvinists, believe anything they are told by Christians).

The youngest daughter is often ostracised - she is now about 20 I think. I stayed with them when I was 20 (she was 17) and I constantly saw her ask her mum legitimate questions about rules she had, and was told to 'obey without questioning me'. Her mum would often say to me, 'I don't understand _____, her sisters never ask why I gave them curfews/made them wear skirts/made certain rules - I wish she would just understand that they're the rules, with no questions'!!! This is verbatim - the parents just couldn't understand why the daughter (who was a lovely girl, who just wanted reasons about why they didn't have a television, couldn't stay up past 9, had to be home by 7, etc etc) couldn't just accept their ruling without question.

It used to make me cranky (and still does), but I guess some people are just like that.

I do know that the middle daughter would like to wear jeans, but thought that guys would think less of her, and she wouldn't find a marriage partner of good repute (what I heard her mum say one time - when the daughters asked why my mum let me wear jeans - I was 20 at the time - and they couldn't - her mum said, well her mum obviously doesn't care WHAT Sascha's future hubby thinks of her!!!)... therefore she chose to wear skirts, and consequently get left out of a lot of youth activities...

I better get off my soapbox now...

 

[Hatsumi]

I understand some of the charismatics believe women should only wear dresses, but I find no biblical basis behind this thinking.

The Biblical literalists who believe women should not wear pants refer to this verse as their basis:

Deuteronomy 22:5 - "A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the Lord your God detests anyone who does this."

Since, in the time and place that this verse was written, both men and women wore tunics, I'm not sure why this law was necessary.

 

[greenessa]

HMMMM. Never thought too much about what the clothing item is, but whether or not the item was appropriate. Ie. too tight vs. tasteful. The timing of this question is interesting as my husband and I talked just last week about jeans. I am constantly offended by young girls bending over and revealing a little more of their behinds than I would care to see. I can't believe that there parents(gaurdians) would let them out of the house like that! I guess that will the jean/pants test at our house. Do they fit, and what happens when you bend over!

 

[BrBob]

Deuteronomy 22:5 - "A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the Lord your God detests anyone who does this."

I'd venture a guess that this verse is referring to cross dressing.

I think there's a big difference between women wearing blue jeans and someone who is cross dressing! The interpretation that pant are somehow "men's clothing" only is simply absurd. They may have been "men's clothing only" in the 19th century but if these people would think a little bit they would realize that Jesus never wore pants. Did that make him a cross dresser?????

Bob
Spearfish, SD

 

[Blindfaith316]

I love my jeans!!! they arent skin tight, they cetainly arent hip huggers, but they ARE comfy... I am in the process of changing out my wardrobe, and I am getting rid of everything that isn't modest by my current standards (not pre-Jesus days!) and I wear jeans and t-shirts almost every day, I cannot imagine wearing dresses, being a SAHM, it would be pretty LUDE if a neighbor saw me scrubbing the floor or wrestling with the kids in a dress...

Plus I think a pair of jeans that actually FIT can be a lot more tasteful than a skirt that is too short (even knee length skirts show leg when you cross your legs) and I dont know of any dress made now-a-days that isn't more form fitting... it's NOT EASY for girl's and women to find modest clothing! (trust me!!)
and that verse pertains to cross dressing, now, if the girl were trying to LOOK like a man, that would be a different story...

 

[Gerry_NY]

The Biblical literalists who believe women should not wear pants refer to this verse as their basis:

Deuteronomy 22:5 - "A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the Lord your God detests anyone who does this."

Since, in the time and place that this verse was written, both men and women wore tunics, I'm not sure why this law was necessary.

Thank you for that reference. I must have missed that in my studies.
Thank you again!

 

[Suzannah]

This reminds me of a sermon I heard on the car radio, by a certain preacher named Vernon McGee. Now for myself, I have always liked him. I admire him for his down to earth basic "horse sense". He tells the story of a lady in his church who was absolutely scandalized that another lady would come to church without wearing proper stockings. And she "raised Cain" about it in a church meeting....Our good man, Vernon, tactful Southerner that he is, pondered her concern duly and promised her that he would "think on it", pray about it, and "study up" and get back to her with an answer. After some time, of duly thinking and praying about it, he did. Please forgive any syntax or phonetic errors I make in reproducing his response here. His accent is hard to duplicate in text but in my mind, well worth the effort. I love Vernon! (I want a t-shirt that says "Vernon is my homeboy") :

"Wal, nahow, Miz Daisy, I have spent considerable tiiiiiiiiiiime, a-thinkin' and a-prayin' about that issue you 'd brought to meh, and Ah've done a considerable effort oohn 't.
Nahow, don't cha mind, that I ain't much for a leeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrn-ed man, but I do b'lieve our Lord's Worrrd, and I do b'lieve thaaaaaaaaaaare's an ainser fer ever-thang....so I serrrrrrrrrrrched the Scrip-chures and I don't find no mention that stockin's are required for any Godly wooooooooman t' warrre...Now, in fact, Ah do recall from seminarah, that Mary and other Godly wimmin, did in fact, wear multiple robes. So Ah don' b'lieve that Mary herself, wore stockins. Therefore, Ah do thank, thet its perfectly allright, for wimmin, if'n they arrrre mod-ist about it, not to waaaaaaaare stockins'. God bless you, Ma'am!"


Gotta love him for just who he is...a good Godly man!

 

[WolfGate]

Modest ones? Yes.

To me issues like this all come down to a simple biblical test. (1Cor)

1) Is the action interfering with my child's walk with Christ? In the case of jeans, nope.

2) Is the action interfering with other's walk with Christ? In girl's clothing the primary way this occurs is by making it harder for boys/men to avoid lust. Modest jeans certainly aren't revealing or sexy when compared with the clothing in today's world. So, I don't see how it interfere's with another's walk.

Therefore, IMHO, since they pass that test, prohibiting them would be legalistic.

 

[Mayzoo]

I feel that both genders should dress modestly, and appropriately for the task at hand. I think "normal" jeans are fine for both women and men to wear. I also am more concerned with the issue of "hip huggers" that show a thong underneath and above the belly shirts. I am a bit oldfashioned I guess. I think no one should wear a hat inside, a man needs a shirt when others are present, and we need to respect others "sensibilities" as much as we can.

Mayzoo