Do looks matter to you?

[MehGuy]

Looks often have a deeper psychological meaning behind them, such that having physical requirements is not as shallow as most assume.

For me looks certainly matter. If I do not find her attractive there is zero chance I'll ever be able to be romantic with her. She does not have to have perfect bone structure or anything, but she must hit a proper feminine target.

Just as women tend to highly value height, men highly value youthfulness. As someone who is hitting the age of 30 I tend to find most women around my age unappealing. Even if they have pleasing aesthetics its not the same. While women several years younger than me emit a more feminine attraction. As I said before looks have psychological underpinnings to them. Just as women report to finding taller men more attractive because it makes them feel more feminine and protected, men find younger women more attractive because they feel more masculine because they have a greater sense of being protective of her.

As a short man, I'm not going to be too sympathetic about forgoing my own attractions. Studies show shorter men marry later, but to younger women. That is certainly the case with the short men in my family. A several year age gap is the minimum from studying my family tree.

 

[VMaeLove]

I am 5'1" you are all giants to me.

 

[Rigatoni]

Looks do matter to me, but they aren't everything. I look at the whole picture, and value other characteristics to a much higher degree: a heart for God, an exciting personality, intelligence, humility and passion especially. Physical beauty amounts to about 20 to 30 percent of my overall level of attraction.

A passionate woman with a heart for God who sets her sights on me is very hard to resist.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Looks often have a deeper psychological meaning behind them, such that having physical requirements is not as shallow as most assume.

For me looks certainly matter. If I do not find her attractive there is zero chance I'll ever be able to be romantic with her. She does not have to have perfect bone structure or anything, but she must hit a proper feminine target.

Just as women tend to highly value height, men highly value youthfulness. As someone who is hitting the age of 30 I tend to find most women around my age unappealing. Even if they have pleasing aesthetics its not the same. While women several years younger than me emit a more feminine attraction. As I said before looks have psychological underpinnings to them. Just as women report to finding taller men more attractive because it makes them feel more feminine and protected, men find younger women more attractive because they feel more masculine because they have a greater sense of being protective of her.

As a short man, I'm not going to be too sympathetic about forgoing my own attractions. Studies show shorter men marry later, but to younger women. That is certainly the case with the short men in my family. A several year age gap is the minimum from studying my family tree.

Really, only 30?? That's typically prime baby making years. I figured 40 was they key age for the women you described.

Though, I am not clear on the why or how you got that shorter men tend to marry younger women. Not too many women that age are attracted to older men.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Most men,in the USA,are between 5'9'' and 5'10" tall.Since the average American Male is less than 6'0" tall,most American Women are mathematically eliminating their chances of finding a good man.
Yes,I am 5'9" tall. Therefore,I know from experience.

Yeah, but ,they'll tell you , "I know what I want, and won't settle" and of course, "Better to be single than unhappy" cliche's.

Yep, and just imagine a woman that's 6 feet tall. I have noticed however though, if a woman is unusually tall. IE 6 feet, they may actually have to be flexible in their ht. requirement because they KNOW they'll be alone forever if they don't.

 

[RobertMerton]

Yes
I don't like to admit it but looks matter alot to me.

Which is funny because I'd consider myself average at best.

I've always seemed to punch above my weight though. Alot of people are surprised. In terms of '10' Ive dated 8s when I was a 5.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Yes
I don't like to admit it but looks matter alot to me.

Which is funny because I'd consider myself average at best.

I've always seemed to punch above my weight though. Alot of people are surprised. In terms of '10' Ive dated 8s when I was a 5.

Must be the location. I live in an area where women live posh lifestyles. You see tons of Facebook photos of women, all lined up with their friends for a photo pose, holding their $15 drinks in hand on high, "Cheers!" While Jabronis are photobombing their photo op. lol

I have to unfollow some people when "Derby Day" comes around. You know, the BIG HATS and Summer, dresses. Their attire is not too far from Easter Sunday service.

You'll never see the "beautiful people" join Meetup singles groups as those groups have average, but some cute women at best. Typically it looks like a Star Trek convention at these singles groups...but hey, I include myself among the Avg. Joes. lol

 

[Citanul]

Looks matter to the extent where I couldn't be with somebody I found completely unattractive, but ultimately it comes down to general compatibility. She could be really attractive, but if we don't jibe then it's not going to work.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

yes, looks matter...a lot.

personality and character also matter....a lot.

I don't see it as a 50/50 thing. I see it as a 100/100 thing.

 

[blackribbon]

Looks are what make us notice someone. Being attractive is based on individual taste and not necessarily "model perfect". However, the personality is what keeps a relationship together.

Looks change over time. Personality is usually more set. Yes, it is important that you find your life partner attractive but that does not mean that they are one of the "beautiful people". There are a lot of things that bond a couple together that are more significant than their physical appearance. Real love is when you look at someone and see only their heart.

 

[Miles]

Balanced

Looks matter to an extent, but it's more difficult to find a woman who is also friendly, smart, and and cooperative in ways that are meaningful to me.

 

[ReesePiece23]

I'd say 90% of my attraction towards a woman (if not 95%) is for her mind. Yeah, I will fall quite madly in love if the woman's mind is beautiful, even if she's considered 'unattractive' from a superficial standpoint.

Looks count for very little when you're gazing up at the stars philosophising.

 

[MehGuy]

Really, only 30?? That's typically prime baby making years. I figured 40 was they key age for the women you described.

22 is the peak fertility age I believe.

Though, I am not clear on the why or how you got that shorter men tend to marry younger women. Not too many women that age are attracted to older men.

Depends on the age range.. can't picture too many women wanting a 60 year old man.. lol.. Believe studies show that women find men at their physical peak during their late 30s, but still the psychology of youthfulness just isn't going to be the same as that is for men. Plenty of women like older men within reason.

That's what studies show. Makes sense, considering the older a man is the more he tends to accumulate as far as wealth and resources go. As someone who is almost thirty, I can attract women in their early 20s pretty easily. Especially in the dating scene I am in, older men can be very psychologically appealing for women. It's really not much of a mystery.. our society is just injected with shallow feminist sentiments. It's hilarious watching older women try to explain why men find youthful women appealing.. "They're just going through a mid-life crisis!" "He just wants to feel younger!".. uhh.. no. Lol.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

22 is the peak fertility age I believe.



Depends on the age range.. can't picture too many women wanting a 60 year old man.. lol.. Believe studies show that women find men at their physical peak during their late 30s, but still the psychology of youthfulness just isn't going to be the same as that is for men. Plenty of women like older men within reason.

That's what studies show. Makes sense, considering the older a man is the more he tends to accumulate as far as wealth and resources go. As someone who is almost thirty, I can attract women in their early 20s pretty easily. Especially in the dating scene I am in, older men can be very psychologically appealing for women. It's really not much of a mystery.. our society is just injected with shallow feminist sentiments. It's hilarious watching older women try to explain why men find youthful women appealing.. "They're just going through a mid-life crisis!" "He just wants to feel younger!".. uhh.. no. Lol.

There's this one woman I know that's mid 30s, her boyfriend is in his mud 50's. I seen him, he's okay looking, but even women his age are too old for me lol.

Not sure how she can stomach that....but she said she has a thing for old souls. But im thinking he's just a meal ticket. He looks like her father.

 

[timewerx]

Should looks matter or is it a 50/50 thing?.

I'm an observer and I observe many successful marriage have the pattern of the couple having similar facial features.

In other words, they somehow look related to each other like a brother and sister.

A Jewish research have determined that facial features have strong connection to personality (so perhaps, if you look similar, you would also be personally compatible)

So it might actually matter.

 

[Miles]

22 is the peak fertility age I believe.

Maybe, but the concept of "peaks" can be imprecise and misleading. There are averages, to be sure, but averages aren't always applicable to an individual. Adult life has more of a plateau shape, or gradual slope. Sometimes, rising or falling depending on one's life circumstances. There are lots of early bloomers and late bloomers along the way. In other words, not all people spend their lives clumped together in the middle of the curve, so I wouldn't waste much mental energy on that.

There's a lot of variation in looks, too. I've met "old" 25 year olds and "young" 50 year olds. And I'm not talking about their dispositions or attitudes. I mean how they look. Then again, these are everyday people, not celebrities. It's tempting to judge how an age looks by comparing them to actors or superstar athletes, but actors and superstar athletes often "wear out" sooner than the rest of us because of their stressful lifestyles. Not all of them, of course, but enough to give a wrong impression.

Speaking of averages, the average 22 year old's brain is still developing. Not necessarily ideal for being a good parent. I wouldn't recommend having kids before the mid 20s, at least not in today's world, but what's preferable for one isn't necessarily preferable for another. Some marry early, and things happen. Hopefully, it works out for them and they're happy. As long as they're adults, I'm not going to make a value judgment there.

Back to the subject of fertility... women can have children until they're around 45-50, which is how it used to be in the days before contraceptives were readily available. Men can have children much later than that. Not as easy to conceive, but still possible. There's an elevated risk of birth defects, on average, with age for both the mother and the father, but thankfully the risks remain quite low.


Don't mind my rambling... lol.

 

[MehGuy]

There's this one woman I know that's mid 30s, her boyfriend is in his mud 50's. I seen him, he's okay looking, but even women his age are too old for me lol.

Not sure how she can stomach that....but she said she has a thing for old souls. But im thinking he's just a meal ticket. He looks like her father.

In the dating niche scene I am in, that age gap is not uncommon. I still think you're looking at attraction through men's eyes. Women like dominate/protective men. Right or wrong, large age gaps can give that psychological appearance. Women don't just get to whine that they need a man to be taller than them, and expect things like youthfulness to be the same for men as it is for women.

As far as the vanilla world is concerned, I think for decades feminists have been going after the biggest flaw women have and that being youthfulness. They've been spreading messages that men are somehow psychologically damaged if they like younger women. It's just ridiculous.

There is always another side to something. That natural urge for women to feel protective and seek out tall men is going to have another side where men seek out women they feel have a vibe to be protected.

 

[MehGuy]

Maybe, but the concept of "peaks" can be imprecise and misleading. There are averages, to be sure, but averages aren't always applicable to an individual. Adult life has more of a plateau shape, or gradual slope. Sometimes, rising or falling depending on one's life circumstances. There are lots of early bloomers and late bloomers along the way. In other words, not all people spend their lives clumped together in the middle of the curve, so I wouldn't waste much mental energy on that.

There's a lot of variation in looks, too. I've met "old" 25 year olds and "young" 50 year olds. And I'm not talking about their dispositions or attitudes. I mean how they look. Then again, these are everyday people, not celebrities. It's tempting to judge how an age looks by comparing them to actors or superstar athletes, but actors and superstar athletes often "wear out" sooner than the rest of us because of their stressful lifestyles. Not all of them, of course, but enough to give a wrong impression.

I said in my original post, that looks often have a strong psychological underpinning to them. I've seen women older than me look younger than me, it's still a turn off when I hear about their real age. For men wanting younger women is much more than just "looks". I've heard women try to contemplate why men are so crazy about younger women "they're like.. younger people look better.. but still". They don't understand the psychological desires men have in wanting age gaps. They're looking at things through feminine eyes, and sadly in this culture the feminine viewpoint is one that average person can really grasp.

As far as "wearing out", rougher skin is not going to look as bad on a man as it does on a woman. Not to forget to mention men have thicker skin than women and it takes longer for it to wrinkle up.

Back to the subject of fertility... women can have children until they're around 45-50, which is how it used to be in the days before contraceptives were readily available. Men can have children much later than that. Not as easy to conceive, but still possible. There's an elevated risk of birth defects, on average, with age for both the mother and the father, but thankfully the risks remain quite low.


Don't mind my rambling... lol.

I believe the world record for a woman to have childbirth without much medical intervention was in her early sixties. There will always be outliers, but psychologically I am not sure that will matter much. Some shorter men do better in a fight than some taller men, yet women will probably look more negatively at him regardless.

Not to mention men don't want women who are in their last leg to have children. They want a young fertile women with years ahead of her.

 

[Sketcher]

I'm an observer and I observe many successful marriage have the pattern of the couple having similar facial features.

In other words, they somehow look related to each other like a brother and sister.

Not my folks.