Divorce

[Cookie_monster]

Is divorce a sin?

Is it a sin to break marriage vows? If people promise to stick together for better or worse, richer or poorer, till death parts them, is there ever a reason why this promise in God's presence can be broken?

Is annulment a sound thing to do? Why on Earth would people want to look for reasons why there marrige is not valid? Surely if there was a reason fo it not being valid the couple might have known this before the time came to annulment?

Thanks for replies in advance.
Sorry if I am being naive, I am 17 and didn't think about these things until recently and I dont know much at all about them.

Cookie

 

[LuxPerpetua]

Yes, divorce is a sin for Christians.

Only in cases of adultery (lust is also a form of adultery, and thus has no place in a marriage) is divorce not sinful, but I think that it is ALWAYS better to keep your marriage together even under these circumstances. I've never understood how someone could "fall out of love" with his/her spouse--totally beyond my comprehension.

I don't think annulments void the marriage vows in the least. Annulments are the same as divorces in my opinion.

I can cite Scripture later if you are really interested. Being very happily married myself, I have extremely high ideals in regard to marriage--including issues like lust and divorce.

However, I do think that we as Christians must recognize that we ALL sin and that we must support and encourage each other to seek God's forgiveness and try to sin no longer. Divorced folks, especially single parents, have it tough, and I think it's just terrible to grind their wounds even further by reminding them of how sinful they are for getting a divorce. We all sin, we all need God's forgiveness.

 

[Svt4Him]

Divorce is always an option, but it isn't the best option. I think we have taken our marriage vow not seriously enough, but I also think we don't understand compassion and have used the Bible as a weapon. My sister is currently going through a divorce, and both my parents are remarried, so this was one issue I really had to study. There are some great books out, and I also researched it from a Jewish understanding, as the verse about divorce except for adultery was a bit unclear to me, and left a few more questions than answers. For instance, does one stay with a spouse who is abusing them?

Also I have seen the attitudes people gave my sister, covered in Christianese, and it made me sick. She didn't tell anyone her husband came home with an std, she shouldn't have to.

I almost divorced my wife, and the greatest impact people had on me...well, actually there were only two people:

1. My pastor. He said this is what he believes I should do, but whatever I did, he would love me and be with me.
2. My friend who phoned me up, asked me if I wanted to go to the driving range. He then said to me "I know you're going through a hard time, if you ever need someone to talk to, give me a call, now let's golf"

I can't tell you how many quoted the scripture referred to above, and an equal amount who did nothing.

 

[Lotar]

Divorce is a sin unless there is adultery, or your spouse is an unbeliever and leaves you.

If you do get a divorce and get remarried, except in the above cases, it is another sin.

Annulment is just a man-created loop-hole for people who want to get divorced for unbiblical reasons.

 

[Jim B]

Divorce is a sin unless there is adultery, or your spouse is an unbeliever and leaves you.

If you do get a divorce and get remarried, except in the above cases, it is another sin.

Annulment is just a man-created loop-hole for people who want to get divorced for unbiblical reasons.

I just don’t think it is simple or clear-cut as you make it, Lotar. And I assume you are talking about the person filing or suing for divorce. But, must a woman remain legalistically bound to, say, a man who physically abuses her and her children, is addicted to internet pornography, has drank away his job and family savings, spends all the grocery money on drugs, etc.

Also, don’t forget, in divorce there is usually a perpetrator and a victim. If a man/woman wants out of a marriage there is no stopping them and the person who may want to reconcile the marriage may have no choice but to be victimized by a mate who is disloyal to their vows. In many churches who legalistically apply the both the prohibitions and allowances for divorce and generally as tough on the victim as they are on the perpetrator. Divorce, in conservative churches, usually place a stigma on a divorced person no matter who was responsible for it nor what the details of the dissolution are. It’s the Scarlet D.

Believe me, I know.

You are young, L, and I hope you never have to face divorce. Even in conservative churches the odds are 50/50 that even your marriage will survive. According to one study, “Overall, 33% of all born again individuals who have been married have gone through a divorce, which is statistically identical to the 34% incidence among non-born again adults.”* In fact, the divorce rate is even higher among conservative Christians than among the general population. That’s pretty scary. Apparently legalistic prohibitions are not working. In fact, the more legalistic the denomination, the higher the divorce rate – according to smartmarriages.com**: the rate for Baptists is 34%; Jews have a divorce rate of 30 percent; even Mormons, who emphasize strong families, are near the national average at 24 percent while, surprisingly, atheists and agnostics have a relatively low rate of 21 percent, according to the survey.

So, I say, offer your advice about divorce gently and compassionately. Remember, the letter kills but the spirit makes alive.

\o/

http://www.barna.org/FlexPage.aspx?Page=Topic&TopicID=20
http://www.baptiststandard.com/2000/1_12/pages/divorce.html

** http://listarchives.his.com/smartmarriages/smartmarriages.9912/msg00033.html

 

[Svt4Him]

I just don’t think it is simple or clear-cut as you make it, Lotar. And I assume you are talking about the person filing or suing for divorce. But, must a woman remain legalistically bound to, say, a man who physically abuses her and her children, is addicted to internet pornography, has drank away his job and family savings, spends all the grocery money on drugs, etc.

Also, don’t forget, in divorce there is usually a perpetrator and a victim. If a man/woman wants out of a marriage there is no stopping them and the person who may want to reconcile the marriage may have no choice but to be victimized by a mate who is disloyal to their vows. In many churches who legalistically apply the both the prohibitions and allowances for divorce and generally as tough on the victim as they are on the perpetrator. Divorce, in conservative churches, usually place a stigma on a divorced person no matter who was responsible for it nor what the details of the dissolution are. It’s the Scarlet D.

Believe me, I know.

You are young, L, and I hope you never have to face divorce. Even in conservative churches the odds are 50/50 that even your marriage will survive. According to one study, “Overall, 33% of all born again individuals who have been married have gone through a divorce, which is statistically identical to the 34% incidence among non-born again adults.”* In fact, the divorce rate is even higher among conservative Christians than among the general population. That’s pretty scary. Apparently legalistic prohibitions are not working. In fact, the more legalistic the denomination, the higher the divorce rate – according to smartpages.com**: the rate for Baptists is 34%; Jews have a divorce rate of 30 percent; even Mormons, who emphasize strong families, are near the national average at 24 percent while, surprisingly, atheists and agnostics have a relatively low rate of 21 percent, according to the survey.

So, I say, offer your advice about divorce gently and compassionately. Remember, the letter kills but the spirit makes alive.

\o/

http://www.barna.org/FlexPage.aspx?Page=Topic&TopicID=20
http://www.baptiststandard.com/2000/1_12/pages/divorce.html

** http://listarchives.his.com/smartmarriages/smartmarriages.9912/msg00033.html

It's like raising kids Jim, it's always easier to raise other peoples. When you have your own, it's a different story.

Great post though. I would share what I found out in my studies, but there are times to just leave it alone, and this seems like one of them.

 

[Jim B]

It's like raising kids Jim, it's always easier to raise other peoples. When you have your own, it's a different story.

Great post though. I would share what I found out in my studies, but there are times to just leave it alone, and this seems like one of them.

Good advice, S.

\o/

 

[Lotar]

I just don’t think it is simple or clear-cut as you make it, Lotar. And I assume you are talking about the person filing or suing for divorce. But, must a woman remain legalistically bound to, say, a man who physically abuses her and her children, is addicted to internet pornography, has drank away his job and family savings, spends all the grocery money on drugs, etc.

Also, don’t forget, in divorce there is usually a perpetrator and a victim. If a man/woman wants out of a marriage there is no stopping them and the person who may want to reconcile the marriage may have no choice but to be victimized by a mate who is disloyal to their vows. In many churches who legalistically apply the both the prohibitions and allowances for divorce and generally as tough on the victim as they are on the perpetrator. Divorce, in conservative churches, usually place a stigma on a divorced person no matter who was responsible for it nor what the details of the dissolution are. It’s the Scarlet D.

Believe me, I know.

You are young, L, and I hope you never have to face divorce. Even in conservative churches the odds are 50/50 that even your marriage will survive. According to one study, “Overall, 33% of all born again individuals who have been married have gone through a divorce, which is statistically identical to the 34% incidence among non-born again adults.”* In fact, the divorce rate is even higher among conservative Christians than among the general population. That’s pretty scary. Apparently legalistic prohibitions are not working. In fact, the more legalistic the denomination, the higher the divorce rate – according to smartmarriages.com**: the rate for Baptists is 34%; Jews have a divorce rate of 30 percent; even Mormons, who emphasize strong families, are near the national average at 24 percent while, surprisingly, atheists and agnostics have a relatively low rate of 21 percent, according to the survey.

So, I say, offer your advice about divorce gently and compassionately. Remember, the letter kills but the spirit makes alive.

\o/

http://www.barna.org/FlexPage.aspx?Page=Topic&TopicID=20
http://www.baptiststandard.com/2000/1_12/pages/divorce.html

** http://listarchives.his.com/smartmarriages/smartmarriages.9912/msg00033.html

I wouldn't say that a person would have to stay with a spouse who is abusive, or some reason like that. But, that does not mean that they should sue for a divorce, or if they choose to get divorced, get married again.

I know the divorce rate among Christians is high, that doesn't make it right.

BTW, the Lutheran divorce rate is below the national average