Ok.. so I met this girl that is great to talk to, I wanted to be upfront and tell my parents I met someone I liked while away at school- but was asked if she were black like me.
Ive never felt it was wrong to date outside of ones race, but it sounds like my family has an issue with it. I really do like her and do not know what to do..
help?
Brother, know you are not alone! God bless you friend!
I am a white Italian-American man dating a black woman of Haitian descent. My girlfriend's name is Jenny, and I am Mike. I met Jenny working at my previous job back in September as I worked at Macy's in the local mall where I live. We met over the greatest common interest of all- we both know Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior! We were friendly already, but we found out that we were both born-again Christians, we became really good friends and really grew on each other. We grew very close and started hanging out with each other outside of work often, and numerous times we would attend church together. What I really liked about Jenny is that she is not one of those "nominal" Christians, but she really loves the Lord with all her heart and she is on fire for Christ, and you could see it in the way she acted- a very kind, loving, and caring person. She has a very powerful testimony of how she came to know Christ too, as she was entangled in the world before finding Him. I also think she is a beautiful person- both inside and outside. I don't care at all that she is black, I love interacting with other races and love racial diversity and being that I spent most of my life in South Florida, I am used to having alot of African-American and Caribbean friends so I understand their culture from being around that so much. I live in an area that is very ethnically diverse. She is a beautiful dark-skinned lady. I met her in mid-September and by late October to early November we started dating as we grew very close. Like any relationship, our relationship has had many ups and downs, it will never be perfect, and there have even been times we threatened to break off the relationship with each other, but we love each other so much that we would always find a way to reconcile and forgive each other, no matter what happens.
Like you my brother, many of my family members also have issues with interracial relationships. My grandma, though I love her deeply, and she is not a racist, she has a problem with interracial dating. She emigrated to the United States from Italy back in 1950, and lived in New York in a time when everyone was kind of divided by the neighborhood they lived in. It is not much this way in Florida, but in New York City (more so in that time, not really like this today however) people tended to stick with people of their culture, so it was rare to see a black person in a predominantly Italian neighborhood, likewise it was rare to see a white person in a majority African-American neighborhood. So it's not that they are racists because they even have black friends, but as far as interracial marriage and relationships they are very closed-minded towards that. I am not exclusive and I am open to dating any race, as long as she is a Christian and it is God's will for me to be with her, but being that I grew up around alot of black culture I always felt comfortable around their race and I always liked black women. But again, I don't mean this in any exclusive way, because I love every race and more so God does, and He does not judge us by the color of our skin (Praise the Lord, right my friend?). My grandma and even my mom are not happy about me dating a black woman. It offends me because I love this woman so much, irregardless of her skin color, I think Jenny is a wonderful Christian woman who if it be God's will I would love to marry and spend my life with as one flesh before the Lord! The thing that troubles me is that my mom and grandma are both Christians, and they have this prejudiced mindset. Also, not to knock on my family because I love them, but they tend to be very strong-minded in their opinions and if you do something they disagree with, they will always have some kind of comment for you. It is dead wrong and I have had many discussions and arguments with them on the race issue, and I just pray that the Lord will renew their minds and change their hearts. The race issue is a sensitive one, and it has caused many problems between Jenny and I, not between each other but due to the fact that my family thinks and acts this way. It is upsetting because Jenny feels ostracized by my family. Many times, especially on the holidays, my grandma would always make a big dinner at her house and invite everyone from the family over and even a few friends. She never went out of her way to invite Jenny- I always had to be the one to ask if I can bring her along with me. When I talk to my family on the phone, they never ask about Jenny or bring her up unless I mention her first. Back in the summer, even before I met Jenny, I was talking with my grandma one night, and she said if I married a black woman she is not sure if she would even attend my wedding. I love my grandma very much, but I was very offended by that, and when I told Jenny that, she was also very hurt. It is also sad because Jenny's family is very nice to me, and they are very inviting and understanding people who also love the Lord. I would love to see Jenny get that same treatment in return!
My brother, one thing that might help you is this. We know that God doesn't judge us by the color of our skin (Romans 10:12). Ask the Lord to lead you in Scripture and by His Holy Spirit on how to address this to your family. We can't do it alone or in our flesh but if we allow God to lead us, Jesus will guide us every step of the way in our thoughts and actions, as we allow the Holy Spirit to guide us and renew our minds and hearts by His Word. Another thing brother is pray for guidance in the relationship you are in and that God would help you to love your girlfriend in a Holy Spirit-led way. Don't let your family or anyone discourage you if you really love this woman. Your family probably loves you very much brother, and I am sure you love them very much too. But one thing too that even I need to learn is that at the end of the day my family can't hold my hand, they can offer criticism whether it be positive or negative, but all in all if the Lord is leading me and I love that person, may God's will be done. God bless you friend, much love in Christ brother, you are in prayer! Let me know how things are going friend, and feel free to drop me a private message any time if you like.
Much love in Jesus Christ,
Michael V.
