Could use advice please

Hetta

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He's never touched me again...he just jacks up the house and throws things.

You know that this is still a form of abuse, right? He keeps you walking on eggshells, afraid, on edge. Please put him out on the doorstep and change your locks.
 
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RedPonyDriver

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You know that this is still a form of abuse, right? He keeps you walking on eggshells, afraid, on edge. Please put him out on the doorstep and change your locks.

I did!!! We are separated. I have a new home that he is NOT permitted in until such time as he has completed the DV course and we have gone to marriage counseling. It will be at least a year before I consider a full reconciliation.
 
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RedPonyDriver

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From what you have shared here there doesn't seem much hope for change...better to let him go, keep him away, and get on with your life.

I'm good with the way things are right now...happy in my PEACEFUL home with my critters and my friends...and the wonderful ability to watch stupid movies and geek TV
 
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sdmsanjose

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I'm good with the way things are right now...happy in my PEACEFUL home with my critters and my friends...and the wonderful ability to watch stupid movies and geek TV
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[FONT=&quot]If it aint broke then do not fix it!![/FONT]
 
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Hetta

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I did!!! We are separated. I have a new home that he is NOT permitted in until such time as he has completed the DV course and we have gone to marriage counseling. It will be at least a year before I consider a full reconciliation.
I'm good with the way things are right now...happy in my PEACEFUL home with my critters and my friends...and the wonderful ability to watch stupid movies and geek TV
:clap:
 
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jannikitty

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I'm good with the way things are right now...happy in my PEACEFUL home with my critters and my friends...and the wonderful ability to watch stupid movies and geek TV

Sounds good and hope it continues. Prayers for you! :prayer:
 
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NothingIsImpossible

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I believe in you can move away and stay away from him. But I don't believe in divorce though. Some find it confusing but what can a man do to me that I have to fear? If I die it only move on to a better place. But thats just me and I know that view isn't liked by many.
 
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Hetta

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I believe in you can move away and stay away from him. But I don't believe in divorce though. Some find it confusing but what can a man do to me that I have to fear? If I die it only move on to a better place. But thats just me and I know that view isn't liked by many.
Staying in a situation where someone may kill you so that you can go to heaven could be considered suicide. At any rate, nobody should suggest such a thing.
 
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RedPonyDriver

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I believe in you can move away and stay away from him. But I don't believe in divorce though. Some find it confusing but what can a man do to me that I have to fear? If I die it only move on to a better place. But thats just me and I know that view isn't liked by many.

Obviously you've never been in a choke-hold with a knife being held against you.

Ya know, if that's your attitude, I hope you are never in a situation where you are truly in fear for your life. Are you suggesting that I should be a martyr to all the other abused wives? Really? I have way too much more life to live.
 
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WalksWithChrist

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Obviously you've never been in a choke-hold with a knife being held against you.

Ya know, if that's your attitude, I hope you are never in a situation where you are truly in fear for your life. Are you suggesting that I should be a martyr to all the other abused wives? Really? I have way too much more life to live.
I'm glad to see you are sane and gave a proper reply here.

I'm also glad you are safe. And I hope you continue to be.
:)
 
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seeingeyes

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Obviously you've never been in a choke-hold with a knife being held against you.

Ya know, if that's your attitude, I hope you are never in a situation where you are truly in fear for your life. Are you suggesting that I should be a martyr to all the other abused wives? Really? I have way too much more life to live.
And you answered your own question. :)
 
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NothingIsImpossible

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I am not suggesting to stay with an abuse person. Its why I say move out or find somewhere safe to live. I just meant in my view divorcing someone who abuses you is something you shouldn't do. And for the record I have had a knife held against me by a woman I was engaged to. She was violent and mental (literally she had mental issues), I was with her for nearly a year. We split up thankfully before marriage.

Staying in a situation where someone may kill you so that you can go to heaven could be considered suicide.
Murder and suicide are two different words.

At any rate, nobody should suggest such a thing.
Well going by the rules of this forum we cannot suggest divorce so its why I never suggest or even hint at it. Do I think marriage for life is fair if your spouse becomes abusive? No. As humans are instinct is to run away from that stuff. But I fear God far more then I fear an abusive spouse. Like I said though I didn't say the TC has to do anything. Its her choice of course. Just was sharing my view. I think the situation she is in is horrible and I am praying for her.
 
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Odetta

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Personally I think it's abominable to tell a woman that she should stay married to a man who tried to kill her, because it continues to put her in danger to still have that tie to him. And to use biblical speak to tell her sorry, you made your bed so lie in it, and aren't I better off than you for having made a better choice. And then to say that murder and suicide are different words - as if one was an OK choice. There is absolutely no compassion in any of that, no matter how sorry you say you feel for her.

RedPonyDriver, I'm glad that you have physical distance now. I believe that God is a God of compassion, mercy, grace and forgiveness. Sometimes those points get missed when people are getting all legalistic.
 
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seeingeyes

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Personally I think it's abominable to tell a woman that she should stay married to a man who tried to kill her, because it continues to put her in danger to still have that tie to him. And to use biblical speak to tell her sorry, you made your bed so lie in it, and aren't I better off than you for having made a better choice. And then to say that murder and suicide are different words - as if one was an OK choice. There is absolutely no compassion in any of that, no matter how sorry you say you feel for her.

RedPonyDriver, I'm glad that you have physical distance now. I believe that God is a God of compassion, mercy, grace and forgiveness. Sometimes those points get missed when people are getting all legalistic.

Preach! The righteousness of man is filthy rags compared to the righteousness of God. His love endures forever.
 
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