Confessions of a very sexually immoral man who wants to stop

[razeontherock]

Wow, the outpouring of love and support is impressive, and makes me glad to be a part of this community. Praise God!

 

[Agentle]

I came across porn accidentally by typing in .com instead of .net for a web address. What I saw exploded my mind and a lot of hidden anchors from the past surfaced. That was 18 years ago. About 4 years later I managed to wean myself off of porn. I still am tempted here and there but I have a strength in God and a plan and system in place to overcome. After a few more years I started an organization called Set Free Porn, to help men be set free from porn and lately I started another organization to do the same but also to provide a tool for men to use at home, OFF the internet. It is a self help Manual titled, " Empowering Men - to Overcome The Temptation." You can get it from Save The Source . It is 90 pages long and has a unique approach unlike any other manual or book. It will definitely help men stop viewing porn.

 

[iLogos]

Amen brother! Isn't it a great feeling to know your finally set free from porn! I think more people should post they were able to over come this nasty addiction thru the help of the Lord! All you have to do is *really* want to!

Brothers who are still a slave to porn listen, you will NOT miss it! The sheer joy, satisfaction and happiness of beating this addition greatly out weighs any temporal satisfaction you got with porn!

You can do it too!

 

[mytel]

Good for you mate, remember trust in God to give you strength in those moments of temptation, by ourselves we are easily led astray, but with God fighting our battles alongside us, our spirits are lifted and he makes it possible. God bless.

 

[brohammer26]

I agree razeon--the posts and advice have been astounding...the poem was great. I guess I feel that I am not right with god because of all the sin and I know that I am a better person than I have been. I understand now that because I believe and confess my sins that I am right with god, but on a personal level I do not feel like I am. I have much to grow. I hope to grow as much as you guys have and I can in time be able to help others like you all have helped me.

 

[iLogos]

I agree razeon--the posts and advice have been astounding...the poem was great. I guess I feel that I am not right with god because of all the sin and I know that I am a better person than I have been. I understand now that because I believe and confess my sins that I am right with god, but on a personal level I do not feel like I am. I have much to grow. I hope to grow as much as you guys have and I can in time be able to help others like you all have helped me.

You feel guilty and ashamed, we all do when our impurities are felt before God.

Here's where we all been, in that moment of "not feeling right"

If your there you just need to remember you can choose to come out of that. God will provide the strength you need, and will forgive you for you sins if you repent of them!

So if you stopped and still feel guilty, relax, your good! On the other hand if you have not stop then you are not in good standing. Make it right and be done with this!

 

[joey_downunder]

When I read one of my favourite discernment websites I read this and thought of you brohammer26.
SATAN’S STRATEGY AGAINST YOU : Apprising Ministries

 

[Romanseight2005]

Brohammer, I am sure someone has probably already said this, but the verse about renewing our minds keeps coming to mind. Perhaps you could try meditating on the scriptures surrounding that passage, and then pray that God will help you to see females as sisters, first.

 

[Romanseight2005]

thanks romanseight your comment helped me to examine my beleifs and why they had become so twisted

Your welcome! I am praying for you. You seem to have a humble heart, and know that God will help you.

 

[OThomas777]

Thanks for sharing and really your story is not so unique at all. Sex has always been my weakness as well. Including every thing you mentioned and then some.

I too use to get tired of slipping back to old habits and then go thru the guilt, followed by the justification. I just got so tired of being a slave to sin I finally said enough is enough! I asked God to give me the strength to break my addictions to sex and He did. You can stop! On our own we do not have the power to do it, but with God's help we can not only do it, but easily too!

But like any addiction, like smoking, you really have to want to stop! Or you will never totally surrender your will to God and hold back a portion of it secretively because you actually know you intend to keep doing it. Once you reach a point you *really* want to stop, God will provide you the strength to stop!

I can tell you it feels wonderful to finally actually truly be free! A slave no more! If I can do it, reach that point, you can too! Let God do your driving for you!

congratulations! Brother...

 

[Jupiter Drops]

OK I have neve been fully honest with anyone about my sexual sin problems, not even through the internet. I am looking to change and start walking the path with the lord. It started for me at a young age of constant rejection from women, keep in mind when I was younger 18-25 ish I did not believe in god. At about the age of 24 I visited my first prostitute. For a couple of years I visited them but very seldom as it was illegal when I was in the states and expensive. But was probably with about 8 of them. I also start reading some very immoral literature on how to pick up and seduce women. I became good at picking up women from bars and having one night stands. I have probably had sex with around 30 of them through a course of 4 yrs. I have also engaged in threesomes with friends of mine.(nothing homosexual) All of this mind you done while drunk and partying..not that is an excuss. At the age of 26 I joined the military and started to find god again. I excelled at my job and for about 1.5 yrs time I stayed quite clear of alcohol, sex and partying. I had sex with one girl in this time frame. But then I was assigned to europe as my first station.

Despite my renewed faith with god and feeling that he had given me a gift with my job in the military and a change of heart...I started to slip again and fall back into sin through sex and alcohol and partying. I started drinking heavily to go out to meet new girls for sex and a lot of times ended up visiting hookers. Being in europe it is quite easy and legal and rather accepted. From the time I have been here for a little over 2 years I would guess that I have paid for sex about 25 times.(avg 1 time a month for just a little over 2 yrs) and have also had sex with about 5 other girls that I have met while out partying. It was starting to hurt me more and more and had tried to stop on many occasions. I found that I was always drunk while doing this and realizing that I was indeed a sex addict. I have not had any real friends since I have been hear and have been very lonley.

I attribute mutlitple things to developing this nasty way of living.
1.) tons of rejection from women at a early age that led to believe that women were bad and believe that I may have actually hated them.
2.) contributing to this was never ever have a healthy relationship with a girl and seeming to attract cold hearted women whom were like me and only enjoyed having sex with me...and even on attempts of making a realtionship would be cheated on our laughed at for wanting a relationship.
3.) Having an abusive father as a child
4.) Having very low self esteem all through college and highschool and being picked on and made out to be a loser.
5.) Surrounding myself with people later on who partied a lot and thought casual sex with a lot of people is ok.
6.) Not beleiving in god and for several yrs at a point of suicide and not careing about anything.
7.) When I started to beleive in god again I somehow managed to slip away even though I still beleived.
8.) Addiction to porn and trashing my mind reading books of 'playboys' and 'pick up artists'.
9.) Being bombarded by sex in movies, tv shows..books etc that casual sex with lot of ppl is ok..and not having a firm belief system on my own.


I have tested myself mulitple times for all STD;s and for the most part have always protected myself and have so far come out with a clean bill of health. I have been lucky.

It has caught up to me though and I cant stand doing it anymore. I decided this new years to stop drinking and flee from sexual sin. I made it 29 days and ended up getting trashed drunk after a very stressful work and school week and ended up at a stip club where I once again paid for sex. It really hit me this time. It felt like rock bottom. I could not sleep or concentrate for 2 days. I have been asking the lord for forgivness and strength to change this in my life. I want to turn it around. I have in the last couple of yrs started to like women more and want a normal realtionship but have yet to foster that. I am guessing that I have been with somewhere around 70 women between the ones I have paid for and have met out at bars. I know it is very sick, the scary thing is that nowadays this is more common and accepted mre than ever to be with a lot of people sexually. Keep in mind that the majority of thes have been only one night so have probably had a lot less sex than a happy healthy married couple. zi have had a couple of my so called relationships that have lasted for a coupe of months, but were not healthy. I have felt sic of my behavior and have ruined myself of normal healthy relations.


Well the confession feels good and now my horrible story is out. I am just trying to live with the knowlege that god forgives and I have to keep with this repentence to walk with the lord and turn away from my sexual nature...no matter how much I failed in the past. I also recieved a DUI last yr from a drunken night. So I am woking on two addictions...drinking and sex. I NEED HELP!! I am going on 30 soon and have to turn this around if I ever want to be happy. I feel like I am going to do it and that was the last straw.

Jesus did say, "Go and sin no more."

You're pretty blessed. You have no STD, God is still merciful, you're here on this forum sharing your story…

I do believe that best things have yet to come for you.

It might be a good idea to get some counselling. Talk to your pastor about this, a trustworthy one. Ask him to pray for you. Pray for yourself to stop.

Now turn away from your sins and never look back. Run, and run as fast as you could from it. No more sex, no more women, no more porn. No nothing. Fill your days with productivity and new hobbies to keep your mind away from sins and get healthy again. And whenever you feel that it's coming back, shout, "In the name of Jesus Christ, I command you, Satan, to leave me!!!" Might to good to shout when you're somewhere alone and safe.

So take your time to heal. You're not alone. A lot of people go through struggles with their sins too. Remember that God is always watching and think for a second if this will please the Lord or not. Know that the sins you do will damage you the most in the end, and Satan likes stuff like that. You will be triumphant in the name of Jesus Christ.

Bless you.

 

[Agentle]

Thanks for sharing as you have. That's a good 1st step toward recovery. For some a miracle of God happens and they stop altogether. For most it is a weaning process until they eventually stop with the help of God and other tools/methods. Certainly focus on the solution not the problem.

There are other very helpful tools that can help you. Here is one that I highly recommend:

We help men with porn problems here in Australia and Asia through our seminars and our Self Help Manual titled, Empowering Men - To Overcome the Temptation. You can find it if you look up on the internet Save The Source and then the resources page.
The self help manual has a section that looks at women in a different light, which causes men to approach/view them differently. It also has 15 steps to help you stop viewing porn. Again I would highly recommend it.
God bless and guide you.
Cheers

 

[brohammer26]

deleted.

 

[Agentle]

I pray that the supernatural patience of Jesus will bring peace to your suffering as we Christians look forward for our victorious Lord Savior to return in the future very soon so that our new glorious minds and bodies of Christ will become perfect in health and youth. Satan will be defeated and sin will be deleted so that the fullness of the pure joy of Christ will keep us smiling forever as we socialize together in our billions in God's most modern and most massive place of community: the Kingdom Of God on a new planet Earth.:*:.

Amen to that!!
Cheers