Comparisons are unhealthy

[Ukrainia]

I think many of the people here, myself included, get too caught up in comparing themselves to others. I see downsides almost exclusively when I see this. People compare themselves to who they want to be like, and they never measure up. A lot of people here (again - I include myself in this) see people who are at the pinnacle of fitness, or handsomeness, or intelligence, or wealth, or sociability and one's first reaction is "wow, I kind of stink." And the natural response - for me at least - is to shut down and to try less to improve than you otherwise would in attempts become better at those traits. I'd argue comparisons aren't even healthy if you're at the other end of the spectrum - if you really are immensly talented at something. Then, instead of sulking, the natural reaction is that of a pharisee "I'm glad I'm not like those people."

Their is a better course of action. Instead of asking "why am I not like them?" ask yourself "how can I learn from them?"

I used to wonder why some older people could be such mean crabs, while some had such great wisdom. Wouldn't it make more sense for all older people to increase in wisdom as they age? I thought of all the lessons you could learn and put to use over time, so it was a riddle to me why so many people didn't increase in wisdom as they got older. I think the answer is simple. Every day of our lives we face situations and we can act in a multitued of ways. Many will meet with some success, but many are likely to result in failure as well. It's how we react to failure that defines how we grow as people. I love this quote by Winston Churchill: "success is the ability to go from one failure to the next with enthusiasm." It's a succinct way of describing how people should go through life. Not in a dour mood, constantly comparing our selves to others. Instead, our failures and flaws should be springboards to improvement. Everyone fails, but the success stories are those in which people people think of tommorow, as not merely a place and time, but as an opportunity.

 

[Blueforest]

And yet, without social comparisons, we would not even know where we stand in society, how to relate to others, how to behave or even what we want out of life. The church is especially guilty of using social pressures to get people to conform to their way of thinking. It sounds nice to say "Don't compare yourself with others" but in practice, it is nigh impossible to do.

 

[Ukrainia]

By comparisons I'm talking about the "am I better or worse than this person?" value judgements in regards to traits like beauty or knowledge, or sociability et cetera. I'm talking as much about the response to the comparison as to the comparison itself. So let's say you see someone who is more knowledgeable than you. The fact that you recognize that is fine (you may call that a comparison). What's not good, is if you were to respond to that and think "he knows more than me, so that make me worse than him." Instead, I think a much better response - at least if knowledge is something you value - would be to think "here is someone more knowledgeable than me, I should work on improving my knowledge." You use your shortcoming as a spur to progress, not as a way to put yourself down.

I get what you're saying, and in a sense I agree. We do need to mimic others in order to fit in with society (for instance, babies mimic their parents to learn how to speak). But I never argued otherwise.

 

[SplendidTree]

I understand what you are saying here. I myself have been guilty of this and it is good to just find things you yourself are good at and qualities you like in yourself.

 

[Shadolus]

You are absolutely right. We shouldn't be comparing ourselves to others, THIS IS BIBLICAL. God designed us to be us and we should work and improve on us. The awesome thing is that in our weakness His strength shines, and in our stregths we can improve upon them and boast about our strong suits in the understanding that God gave us them. It's a win, win situation. And FYI when I say that God will shine through our weakness, I can't stress the importance on this enough. This is big, because God will gain much glory. For example, if someone is shy and God uses this shyness and allows them to reach many for His kingdom through that shy person trusting in God, people will notice and they will think to themselves "how is it that such a shy person is doing x or y, it can only be the power of God". Bottom line is that we need to trust in God with all that we are and find our idenetity, strength or weakness, in Christ.

 

[Human Clay]

2 Corinthians 10:11-13

12 For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.

 

[Sapphyre]

Here's the bottom line for me. When you compare yourself to another person, you either come out with a false sense of superiority or you come out feeling like crap. Neither is good or healthy.

Their is a better course of action. Instead of asking "why am I not like them?" ask yourself "how can I learn from them?"

Exactly.

 

[emogirl93]

Comparing yourself with another person is almost equal to being covetous. IMHO

 

[Oddish]

*bumped* Great message, more people need to read it .

 

[Thunder Peel]

I don't think I've ever compared myself to someone and thought I was better. I'm always the one going, "Man, I wish I could get up to their level!"