Cohabitation Before Marriage

[white dove]

Why or why not?

For or against?

I'm against it for myself and I refuse to cohabitate before marriage. Any subsequent relationship(s) I may get into, I don't foresee a sexual relationship immediately. Although I am not a virgin, I am old-fashioned in some ways and I'm of the "been there, done that" crowd... so I'm a bit "over" the whole gotta-have-sex-or-I'll-die thing. I intend to live right by myself and listen more to when God's guiding my heart and cranium.

As a Christian, I'm supposed to avoid the "appearances of evil," but moreso than that not make people guess about my lifestyle and values. If I'm living with someone, but maintaining that there is no sexual relationship present, I'm only making myself look like a moron. True, it doesn't really matter what people think in a sense, but at the same time, we're living examples. And it doesn't really make sense to live with someone I'm dating (ala a marriage relationship) without treating it like it is. Does that make sense?

I also don't buy all the mumbo-jumbo about not really knowing what someone is like unless you live with them. That's bullplop. Initially, when you're dating someone you go places, you're not stuck at one or the other's apartment, condo or home. When you settle into it, you do have those moments of hanging out at home - for movie nights, game nights or whatever because let's face it, it's expensive to go out all the time. And perhaps the majority of your time will be spent at one or the other's home. You can tell what someone is like during those times, how they maintain their home, etc.. It isn't rocket science.

Also for me, I know how I operate. Bad enough I'm a naturally playful person. If I lived with a man I'm dating or engaged to, I know the temptation is there. I wouldn't want to make it even more convenient for us to go against our convictions (ideally, this would be someone who doesn't require a sexual relationship prior to marriage, but would have a compatible enough sex drive).


Sexual experience, abilities, etc.. again, all those fears are all bullplop. What needs to be discussed prior to marriage to ensure that a sexual compatibility exists will hint at the right match-up or the wrong one. Love, open honesty and communication are the abilities one needs to master in order to ensure a healthy and amazing sex life with one's spouse. Good lovers are not just born that way. So, when I hear people being afraid that they won't satisfy their husband or wife, I feel saddened because people truly believe that the more experience = better sex. So wrong. The only reason I add this is because it's on-par with people saying one must "try the horse before they put on the bit." Or whatever.

 

[sampa]

against, hoping that I won't but never know what a future relationship will bring me too. From what I understand of the bible, it seems like a situation that doesn't witness well to others or can be playing with fire if two are wanting to avoid premaritial sex. Gods the original designer of us and I want to trust that His plan and design for the man and woman works better within the marriage context living together. Although traveling together and sharing hotel rooms or crashing on their floor for long distance relationships, I've done many times with friends, but not sure about someone I'm attracted to.

 

[Sunset2009]

I LOLed at my older sister, who would have a baby with a man, but was firm that she wouldn't move in with them until they were married!! Dude... you just had a kid with the dude. That's... kind of a big deal... it's like saying, I like you enough to CARRY ON YOUR LINEAGE?! Ohmyword.

Cohabitation before marriage, lol no way, why would I do that. It's all part of the marriage package. It's exclusive and comes with lots of goodies. Living together under a sacred union is one of them. And I don't need to live with someone to know if they're the one. If I'd break up with someone because I find out just before we get married that he leaves the cap off of the toothpaste...ohmyword, sound the alarms.

p.s. is currently sleep drunk at 1:14am.

 

[Blank123]

well hey leaving the cap off the toothpaste *is* serious business. I mean its only a slippery slope from there. What if you found out that he always left the toilet seat up? Or what if you discovered that he burns the toast in the morning??

 

[Sunset2009]

well hey leaving the cap off the toothpaste *is* serious business. I mean its only a slippery slope from there. What if you found out that he always left the toilet seat up? Or what if you discovered that he burns the toast in the morning??

Oh my word!! Soooooo unfit to marry!!!!!

 

[kevlite2020]

Oh my word!! Soooooo unfit to marry!!!!!

You laugh, but many marriages have fallen apart from burnt toast!

 

[ampbelle3130]

as i have the "been there, done that" mentality as well, i can say that i will never cohabitate before marriage again. i'm not a virgin and i know my boundaries. i'm not only to avoid the outcome of sexual encounters but i also feel that i (just me specifically) need to also avoid the temptation. i've lived with someone for 3 years and it was a great experience. we got along well, we had fun, we shared chores, he put the toilet seat down... but in all seriousness, it's just that i've tried it one way and i'd like to try the other.
i dont want others to feel that i am doing something immoral that i plainly state i am against. so i'm going to avoid that situation altogether. no cohabitating. it's just not a good choice for me anymore.

 

[Italianguy]

well hey leaving the cap off the toothpaste *is* serious business. I mean its only a slippery slope from there. What if you found out that he always left the toilet seat up? Or what if you discovered that he burns the toast in the morning??

Tell me about it! I left the toilet seat down and the cap off the toothpaste, my wifewas not so happy. After she, as she says, "trained me" things got better. I can't say I have ever burnt the toast....I am not allowed in my wifes kitchen, it's not ours, it's HER"S. ....Acationaly i sneak in there to take a somosa or someting but i usually get caught...how is it after you put the ring on the finger that women get a sixth sense? She even knows I am sneaking in the kitchen when she's not even home???? Weirrrrdddddd

One time......AND DON"T TELL ANYONE! ......I ran out of toilet paper and didn't tell her.....

God be with you fellas!

 

[ampbelle3130]

Tell me about it! I left the toilet seat down and the cap off the toothpaste, my wifewas not so happy. After she, as she says, "trained me" things got better.

One time......AND DON"T TELL ANYONE! ......I ran out of toilet paper and didn't tell her.....

God be with you fellas!

 

[Blank123]

Tell me about it! I left the toilet seat down and the cap off the toothpaste, my wifewas not so happy. After she, as she says, "trained me" things got better. I can't say I have ever burnt the toast....I am not allowed in my wifes kitchen, it's not ours, it's HER"S. ....Acationaly i sneak in there to take a somosa or someting but i usually get caught...how is it after you put the ring on the finger that women get a sixth sense? She even knows I am sneaking in the kitchen when she's not even home???? Weirrrrdddddd

One time......AND DON"T TELL ANYONE! ......I ran out of toilet paper and didn't tell her.....

God be with you fellas!

dear Lord... and your marriage survived all that???

 

[Italianguy]

dear Lord... and your marriage survived all that???

As God as my witness! I am still married.

I just had to lay down the law and tell her how it was going to be!.......yeah right, I just said that because i am on a computer....i couldn't say it aloud even if she wasn't around.lol You ever seen a little 5'2'' tall(short) 97 pound Indian woman get mad?.......

You will see a 6'2'' tall , 240 pound Italian man RUN LIKE THE DICKENS!

 

[kevlite2020]

As God as my witness! I am still married.

I just had to lay down the law and tell her how it was going to be!.......yeah right, I just said that because i am on a computer....i couldn't say it aloud even if she wasn't around.lol You ever seen a little 5'2'' tall(short) 97 pound Indian woman get mad?.......

You will see a 6'2'' tall , 240 pound Italian man RUN LIKE THE DICKENS!

tiny women are the scariest! An 8 foot tall amazon woman like little_tigress, she's just cute and harmless. But get a 90 pound 5 foot girl mad, and it might result in nuclear explosions that take out city blocks.

 

[ampbelle3130]

As God as my witness! I am still married.

I just had to lay down the law and tell her how it was going to be!.......yeah right, I just said that because i am on a computer....i couldn't say it aloud even if she wasn't around.lol You ever seen a little 5'2'' tall(short) 97 pound Indian woman get mad?.......

You will see a 6'2'' tall , 240 pound Italian man RUN LIKE THE DICKENS!

ahahahahahahahahaha!

 

[Italianguy]

tiny women are the scariest! An 8 foot tall amazon woman like little_tigress, she's just cute and harmless. But get a 90 pound 5 foot girl mad, and it might result in nuclear explosions that take out city blocks.

LOL, dude, your tellin me! i don't know what it is? Maybe the napolean complex or something? All that comming out of such a small woman, BUT, if she sees a spider....WATCH OUT! she will run up me like she saw a ghost!:o She is so small she can actually hide behind me.

I love her though she's my queen! The most beautiful , sweet woman in the world. Even when she is yelling at me in Tamil, or Hindi, or Urdu, or .....oh what ever.

 

[Blank123]

As God as my witness! I am still married.

I just had to lay down the law and tell her how it was going to be!.......yeah right, I just said that because i am on a computer....i couldn't say it aloud even if she wasn't around.lol You ever seen a little 5'2'' tall(short) 97 pound Indian woman get mad?.......

You will see a 6'2'' tall , 240 pound Italian man RUN LIKE THE DICKENS!

that reminds me of The Cake Boss who thinks he's an angry Italian and will yell and fight with anyone - except women. Its funny any time a woman on his show gets angry with him suddenly he has nothing to say

 

[Italianguy]

that reminds me of The Cake Boss who thinks he's an angry Italian and will yell and fight with anyone - except women. Its funny any time a woman on his show gets angry with him suddenly he has nothing to say

LOL, I met Buddy, He's a cool dude. I am from Astoria Queens in NYC. We used to get stuff from them. They're in Jersey, so we didn't get to see them that often.

I am the same way. I try to keep women happy....especially mia madre (Momma) I am nearly 2 feet taller than my mother and she still scares me. I would never talk back to her! She would come after me with one of those giant wooden salad spoons you would see in peoples house that hang on the wall......I am sure his madre did it too. You notice how he bows down to his mother. MADRE IS ALWAYS RIGHT! even when she's wrong.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

For some reason women are never like that to me. Haha.