Christian boudaries concerning entertainment.

[shahnaz]

Hi!

I would like to get some advice concerning boundaries in music and entertainment: what is ok for a Christian? I’m having problems in deciding what’s wrong and what’s right. One factor related to this is that I have obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), which makes me extra careful in choosing my music etc, since I feel guilty if I don’t follow my boundaries.

I’m interested in music, singing, celebrities, movies…I’m quite a good singer…Because of ocd and not being able to get into university, I’m still living at home (i'm 23), in a small town, without friends…so entertainment (my hobbies) is very important for me. I’m a born again believer and want to do things according to God’s Word.

Here are some specific things I’m having difficulties with:

1. I would like to sing secular hits, such as Alone – Celine Dion; I drove All night (Celine Dion);
I have nothing (Whitney Houston); Listen (Beyonce Knowles); But I feel that if I sing them I’m sinning, since they all contain things which are not right:

Alone: a depressed man or women, finds no way to tell to his/her love that he/she loves him/her;

I drove all night: hint about premarital sex;

I have nothing: exaggerates the relationship between man and a woman; ‘I have nothing if I don’t have you’; it’s wrong from a Christian perspective.

Listen: emphasises a ‘wrong’ attitude towards somebody ? (i’m not sure about that….)


2. I want to see celebrity interviews on You Tube, such as singers and actors:

many of them are probably very nice people, but they do wrong things, and that’s why I feel I should not concentrate on them…listen or watch them:

For example: Beyonce’s image: see has very bad clothes (or almost non at all)

3. Christian music: rock:

Natalie Grant’s song Our hope Endures: I like the sound, but he words seem to be a bit too deppressive: are they? If they are, it’s probably wrong…

Her music video: I will not be moved: I feel that there’s something wrong about it…


One may ask why I’m interested in secular stuff: because they make musically great songs! And Christian artist do not have many songs which I like….I mean, they have wonderful songs (Orphans of God: Avalon; Natalie Grant: Held) but it seems that Christian artist do not have so much money to do things as secular artist: therefore there are fewer Christian songs out there.

I need your help on this!
Thanks in advance!
Have a nice day!

shahnaz

 

[alfrodull]

The biggest thing that jumps out at me is that you need to realize that "depressing" songs are hardly unbiblical. You need look no further than the book of Psalms to find that the Bible is full of laments. Sadness is a valid human emotion.

I also think you need to learn to separate expression from promoting a certain behavior. Pretty much everyone, non-Christians included, would say it's wrong to tell someone you no longer value them or to make your significant other the totality of your existence (although I think you're taking "I Have Nothing" a bit too literally... ) However, people do these things anyway, and listening to songs about it can ease the pain or help put your emotions in order.

Finally, mot human beings are very nice people, but they do wrong things. I'm not saying you should let celebrities be your role models from whom you draw your worldview, but listening to a singer's opinions is no different from listening to a politician's, or a reporter's, or anyone else's. If someone being interviewed is not a glowing beacon of morality, just keep that in mind before taking their advice.

 

[peanutbutter12]

Boundaries are a very personal issue. What is ok for one person may not be ok for another. What it boils down to is how these things effect you spiritually.

For instance, I would probably be seen as heretic by a lot of Christians. I listen to music like Marilyn Manson, whom a lot of Christians ignorantly mark as Satanic, I might add. I have no problem watching R rated films with questionable content such as nudity, and I play videogames with violence and magic in them... another topic a lot of Christians rally against from time to time.

However, I can do these things without them effecting my faith where as some people can't do that. What truly matters is not what someone tells you how it will effect you, what matters is how you feel it effects you.

Also, when it comes to music, you will find that most of these Christian artists you listen to also listen to secular music. In fact, how many of these Christian bands end up remaking secular songs and putting them on their own album? A great example is on Red's new album where they have redone the song Ordinary World by Duran Duran.

 

[shahnaz]

Hi alfrodull! Thanks for your thoughts!

I agree that songs can help people, however, don't you think that dwelling on sad thoughts is unnecessary...I mean, it does not promote anything positive...

 

[shahnaz]

Thanks for posting your ideas TerraSin!

I think it makes some sense to check how do things influence oneself before rejecting everything...and to me it seems that if I feel that a song such as Listen, brings me more joy than negative influence, then I should sing it...

shahnaz

 

[alfrodull]

Hi alfrodull! Thanks for your thoughts!

I agree that songs can help people, however, don't you think that dwelling on sad thoughts is unnecessary...I mean, it does not promote anything positive...

Of course spending time with sad thoughts is necessary. How else are we to learn from them? What would Easter be without Good Friday?

I do agree with everything TerraSin posted, though. You have to go with your own conscience on these things.

 

[stephanieamber]

Hey sister.

One thing that is important to remember is that your OCD is going to have a hand in a lot of various things you do. As someone who struggles with OCD, I know all about the inner prison.

Everybody pointed out a really big thing for you to remember: the Lord did not make us all the same, and therefore does not have the same relationships with all of us, and we in turn are not convicted of the same things in the same way.

A few months ago I randomly started watching a movie that was rated R. There was a lot of sex and f-bombs and I thought "this is absolutely stupid.. I don't need all of these images adn words in my head." So I spoke with the Lord and decided upon not watching rated R movies. Is this something that every Christian in the world needs to follow? No. Personally, it's what I was convicted of.

You wrote also about music. I find myself VERY influenced by music. it is okay and healthy and acceptable to be sad. This isn't to say that living in an extremely sad state all the time is good, because that's not. If you are influenced by music (which I am going to assume you are, since the content of the songs is at question) then I would suggest you are very deliberate about what music you choose to listen to. There was a Christina Aguilera CD that I owned and loved - except one song reminded me of my childhood so strongly that I found myself in a permanent state of depression. I withdrew from everyone, put the song on repeat, and ended up opening old emotional wounds. After realizing the song was what did it for me, I gave the CD away and have never listened to the song since then, five years ago.

I gave you examples of myself not to set a standard, but to instead show you ways that I have had to build boundaries in my life to not allow Satan a foot hold. When you listen or watch something, if you are struggling with feeling okay watching it or listening to it, think about this: Would I have to explain myself to Jesus if he was sitting next to me? Try that for awhile and see how you feel.

Another solution, and while this doesn't DIRECTLY affect the problem, but will influence it as time goes on.. spend a lot of time seeking out the Lord. The better you know him and hear his voice, the easier it is to recognize when the Holy Spirit is convicting you.

 

[shahnaz]

I find that your thoughts, stephanieamber, make sense:

"and we in turn are not convicted of the same things in the same way."

"if you are struggling with feeling okay watching it or listening to it, think about this: Would I have to explain myself to Jesus if he was sitting next to me? Try that for awhile and see how you feel. "

I actually am able to categorize those four songs: I feel right now that I drove all night would not be right for me; the rest perhaps could be! Anyway, I probably have to try and sing them, and then deside . Thanks for advice!

It's my ocd, perhaps, what's bothering me with this stuff...I would not watch a PG 13 movie, or sing a song with lots of profanity, that's clear to me...but it's the stuff in between ok and not ok, which makes me confused... and ocd added to it makes it more confusing...

This is the first time I'm getting advice on this that makes sense! Thanks to you all!

My conclusion is: I have to listen to my feelings and conscience, not ocd!
I welcome any other advice, and even true stories if people feel like writing about this more...

shahnaz

 

[stephanieamber]

Hey darlin!!

If you ever want any specific advice, encouragement or help or anything, feel free to send me a message. The OCD aspect is probably a lot bigger part than you realize. I'm blessed to have finally gotten a small handle on it and to be able to recognize it. So I am here for you, sister!!

 

[Lyle]

Boundaries tell alot about a person. Despite what the world thinks they are healthy and needed for people. We, as Christians, have to approach them properly; that they are not us asking how close we can get to something without being hurt.

When you choose your music, be careful how it impacts your heart. If you listen to sad songs because you are sad, happy songs because you are happy, doesn't mean they are wrong. Music is the feelings of one person that are easily relate able to another person. When the music starts to control your mood you need to be careful. You see patterns in your life that change with the music; you are not controlling it but it is controlling you.

I enjoy heavier music when I am running. As a guy it gets my blood pumping. But if I find that it is harboring in my moods then I need to break away from it till I can align my intentions with God's word.

God's word is the goal that we strive after. We have to be careful what we do and do not choose and listen greatly to our conscience. Boundaries are lines that, in the end, we have to establish ourselves to stand firm.

 

[shahnaz]

Thanks Lyle!

So your saying the same thing as others...one should watch for the impact of entertainment on oneself...So...I'll have to start trying things!

Perhaps you emphasised the following: one has to create the boundaries for oneself and nobody else ca do it for you. Am I right? Of course, ocd makes it difficult...but with some help from others, one can do it!

shahnaz

 

[shahnaz]

Stephanieamber, thanks a lot!

You might be getting some PMs from me after I've posted my 15 posts (as that's required here in the Forums). 6 posts left after this!

shahnaz

 

[Lyle]

OCD makes it more of a challenge. Boundaries are rules and guidelines. Your grammar is very good. How you structure sentences is, in a sense, the same thing. It is a little more defined, but it is about guidelines and boundaries.

Boundaries are safeguard sin our lives. God has rules for our lives to help keep us from those things that can be harmful to us. We don't want boundaries because this is what other people do or how they do things. We need to be sensitive to our conscience. I'm saying we should never intentionally press the line so we find out what offends and what doesn't. God has placed a mind to think and discern in us and we ought to use it.

I am pretty thick skinned when it comes to many things. I worked for several years with men who were anything but Godly, so I had to make sure to maintain my witness as a Christian. This would be a bit akward at times because I would have to make choices to do the opposite of what they were doing.
A good example of how sin can numb your senses is me and profanity. It would only start with a simple word here and there. it grew, I didn't mind it. Where it used to bother me it didn't anymore, coming from my own mouth. I never swore alot, but even a little is too much.

The Bible says we are to shun what is evil and cling to what is good. We are to put unprofitable things away from us. Always ask yourself honestly, How profitable is this?

 

[CCinoklahoma87]

^^well said there dude!
I would say stick to your senses and listen to the spirit, it will tell you as well as simple common knowledge in choosing wholesome Godly enterntainment, and as long as the movies, music, tv dont influence u personally or change your views on certain subject matter, then it shouldnt pose a threat to your spiritual life.

 

[frenzy]

It often seems to me that many Christians use boundaries as a way of sheltering themselves unnecessarily, rather than to avoid sin. If you watch a movie with a sex scene and consequently have a dirty thought but do nothing to act upon it, I don't think you are sinning. Sinning is an action, it isn't in fleeting thoughts. Sure, if you dwell on killing someone, that is a different story, but we often have thoughts that we don't control and I don't think you should worry about that. It isn't a sin to sing about having random one-night-stands, but if you actually take action and do that, it is a sin. Just my opinions here.

 

[CCinoklahoma87]

^^well said frenzy!!!!^^
I admit even the most spirit-controlled christians can have sinful thoughts, and that's always going to be a battle due to we're born in sin, as this world is dead in sin as well. I have sinful thoughts at times..i confess, and sometimes theyre difficult to control but thats what continuing to fight and stay strong is for, God will present tempting situtaions to test our resistance.

 

[shahnaz]

Lyle: "Always ask yourself honestly, How profitable is this?"

CCinoklahoma87: "and as long as the movies, music, tv dont influence u personally or change your views on certain subject matter, then it shouldnt pose a threat to your spiritual life."

Frenzy: "we often have thoughts that we don't control and I don't think you should worry about that. "

Nice! I like your ideas! Lyle's idea makes me think that many songs actually profit me more than harm me...

CCinoklahoma87's idea: try and look for the influence! Very practical, nice!

Frency's helps me with the ocd thing!

Thanks!

shahnaz

 

[stephanieamber]

Stephanieamber, thanks a lot!

You might be getting some PMs from me after I've posted my 15 posts (as that's required here in the Forums). 6 posts left after this!

shahnaz

Well get to it darlin

 

[Briseis]

I think it totally depends on what a person feels comfortable with. What affects you or might give you negative thoughts. Or what you simply feel uncomfortable with.

You are focusing on music but I am more of a movie person, so I will work with that. An example that comes to mind, for me, is A Clockwork Orange. A lot of non-christians find it a very difficult movie to watch. But I didnt. Of course there is a lot of horrible things in it. But I just took it in thoughtfully. I did not feel uncomfortable watching it, and it didnt make me want to do anything that was portrayed in the movie.

Although there are movies such as Saw that have some ppl saying the same thing. That it was thought provoking, but they could stand back from the horrible things portrayed. I know I couldnt. Not that I would want to hack ppl after. But I have had experiences from watching other horror movies that I really regret. Images that wont leave my mind. Being scared all the time and nightmares.

So, I watch A Clockwork Orange, but not Saw. And for some ppl it might be the other way around.

 

[shahnaz]

Thanks Briseis!

That's right!: feeling comfortable, uncomfortable, having thoughts...Thoughts can be really annoying if one has OCD!

shahnaz