- Feb 5, 2002
- 166,616
- 56,253
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- United States
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- Catholic
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- Married
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Catholic weddings per year plummeted about 69% between 1970 and 2021, according to the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate. Countless factors contribute to this decline, but one is intra-Catholic tribalism.
“Trads” (or devotees of the traditional Latin Mass), charismatic Catholics (or those who emphasize the charismatic gifts of the Holy Spirit in life and worship), conservative Catholics, liberal Catholics—we live in a time of great division between Catholics who think the Church should ideally look, act, and worship in different ways, and often have antagonism toward those who disagree.
As I’ve written before, this tribalism can be a huge obstacle to finding a devout Catholic spouse. Catholic weddings per year plummeted about 69% between 1970 and 2021, according to the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate. Countless factors contribute to this decline, but one is this intra-Catholic tribalism. Many single Catholics look for dates not just among fellow Catholics, but among fellow Catholics of their own tribe, which tends to limit the dating pool severely.
I believe single Catholics who desire marriage should set aside this limitation, at least for the initial steps of meeting and dating. This is one step among many to achieving more happy, holy, Catholic marriages.
First, I want to validate the desire for a spouse from one’s own tribe. It is important for spouses to agree on what Mass they will attend and anything else that practically affects their lives. For instance, Catholics at different points on the traditional-to-liberal spectrum might have different understandings of when (if ever) it’s okay to use fertility awareness methods (Natural Family Planning or NFP) to space or avoid pregnancies, something that would certainly impact married life. It’s also probably a good idea to have some shared devotions so that you can pray together more easily (e.g., you both love the Rosary, or you both love praise-and-worship).
However, it’s also very important not to refuse to datesomeone just because he or she appears to fall into a different tribe. There are two main reasons for this.
The numbers won’t work
Continued below.
www.catholicworldreport.com
“Trads” (or devotees of the traditional Latin Mass), charismatic Catholics (or those who emphasize the charismatic gifts of the Holy Spirit in life and worship), conservative Catholics, liberal Catholics—we live in a time of great division between Catholics who think the Church should ideally look, act, and worship in different ways, and often have antagonism toward those who disagree.
As I’ve written before, this tribalism can be a huge obstacle to finding a devout Catholic spouse. Catholic weddings per year plummeted about 69% between 1970 and 2021, according to the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate. Countless factors contribute to this decline, but one is this intra-Catholic tribalism. Many single Catholics look for dates not just among fellow Catholics, but among fellow Catholics of their own tribe, which tends to limit the dating pool severely.
I believe single Catholics who desire marriage should set aside this limitation, at least for the initial steps of meeting and dating. This is one step among many to achieving more happy, holy, Catholic marriages.
First, I want to validate the desire for a spouse from one’s own tribe. It is important for spouses to agree on what Mass they will attend and anything else that practically affects their lives. For instance, Catholics at different points on the traditional-to-liberal spectrum might have different understandings of when (if ever) it’s okay to use fertility awareness methods (Natural Family Planning or NFP) to space or avoid pregnancies, something that would certainly impact married life. It’s also probably a good idea to have some shared devotions so that you can pray together more easily (e.g., you both love the Rosary, or you both love praise-and-worship).
However, it’s also very important not to refuse to datesomeone just because he or she appears to fall into a different tribe. There are two main reasons for this.
The numbers won’t work
Continued below.
Catholic tribalism and the decline of marriage
www.catholicworldreport.com
