Ok I hate to make this so long but I really need some advice from non-biased people.
I am 25 and married to the most wonderful man. He is so ggod to me and kind... however he doesnt stick up for me and is starting to do things I never imagined.
I was abused physically and verbally and mentally for the majority of my life by my dad. My parents came to visit 3 months ago and stirred things up. Now I am facing all these abuse issues I never dealt with... this is problem #1.
SO... I am really struggling with my temper and emotions from this. Then problem #2. I have 4 kids. 3 of which are 1 yr apart. So I now have a whole slew of medical problems. My bladder, uterus and cervix are falling out as well as my rectum. I cannot control bowel movements and I have excessive rectal bleeding from pre-cancerous polyps.
So here again I am in emotional wreckage.....problem #3. I have not alot of support so I take alot out on my husband and from how I was raised I am a big yeller. And am starting to curse excessively. Sometimes I dont even remember what I say and the littlest thing sets me off.
Problem #4 is my in laws. My husbadn finds no issue but I am struglling BIG TIME. My mother in law isnt a witch but she just makes me feel like dirt. I cant figure out if I am being overly critical or I have valid reason to be concernted. This is the major issue right now. I really need advice on this topic most. I try to be respectful and sometimes to the point were it is fake. SHe came over for my husband's birthday and our daughter was crying. We were about to blow out candles and she wanted me to hold the baby so everyone else could sing to him. It really hurt me because he is my husband and I provided this whole party for him. I couldnt take the baby in the room with the cake because she was screamming from being scared of one of our guests. I just think this was disrespectful
Also she calls and asks my husband if he is going to work and asks details and such. He says it is ok because it doesnt bother him but it does me. I feel it would be ok to ask how he likes his job or how it is going but to blatenly ask if he is going is like he is 10 yrs old. He got fired a yr ago and ever since she is always on top of where he works. I feel if anyone it should be me asking and even then I dont feel it neccessary to ask my grown husband if he is going to work.
I know she knows better and I feel like she does it because he allows her like he is still a boy. She called the other day to take our children somewhere and said to dress them nice. Well it would have been one thing if she meant dressing up but she meant casually. Well that makles me feel like they arent dressed nice any other time she sees them. They dont even visit that much yet she has new clothing for them at her house to change them inot. Then I dresses the kids as I found appropriate and she went and bought an outfit to change our daughter into. Now I know it is cool for her to buy our kids clothes and I appreciate it however to buy her an outfit to go somewhere with her and change her from what I put her in hurts my feelings.
Then today really boggled me. As I said I have been very hurtful to my husband verbally for no reason. Today I finnally set him off and he now is divorcing me. So he called his best friend, and nrother to tell them. I think this is awful and unfair. So his brother called the rest of his family and they came after church. My father in law did try to talk him out of it which I appreciate.
Anyways we had a babysitter when they came and we were getting ready to leave. BUT THEY STAYED????? Is that noraml? They stayed in our house with our babysitter? They are more than welcome here but is it normal for them to stay after we leave? Then my son had on a shirt that was dirty from a cholcolate he had just ate so my in laws took him with them without telling us and said they were taking him to give him a bath and change his clothes? My husband thinks they were trying to helpful but frankly I finds this rude! Now I feel like I have to be the lookout and have my kids spic and span every moment. We have 4 kids and it is hard to buy them all really nice clothes. I just dont get this behavior. They also commented how my baby had on the same shirt she went over there house in the previous morning. It wasnt that I dont bathe my kids but we were busy all morning then started fighting.
Am I being overly critical. Is any of this wrong. I do not want to be a driopping faucet and a constant nag. It is just so much to take with everything else. We go to their house every single holiday and she never lets me help with dinner. It just goes on and on. Am I taking this all the wrong way. I just wanted a family of my own and this is not happening. Even with my sickness she will say she cares and then not call. I have to get another colonoscopy and I called her to tell her so she might watch the kids and she didnt ask me what was wrong or even if I was ok.
Please someone give me any advice. I am now losing my husband. I dont know how I am supposed to act with all this going on. Even my mom wont send our children anyhting for Christmas because she feels I am wrong for not letting go what my dad did. I feel like God is trying to drown me right now.
The worst is my husband. Our checking account is in his name and we have never ever fought over money ever! well today i asked him for the card so i could pay our sitter and because I was supposed to go to the ER tonight because my bleeding has changed ... and he said I wasnt spending any of HIS MONEY! I just deposited 603 dollars in it? I just dont get it. I have never spent anything other than groceries or clothes and bills. Why is he being so mean. He listens to everything his parents tell him and I am really scared they told him I would empty the account. Our insurance ran out on the 30 of nov and I know I am going to have to get a prescription filled. I cannot believe he sunk thi slow. I am really really scared I am going to hurt myself and go to hell. Then he laughed about me calling my boss alot to lean on her but it is OK for him to involve his whole family? I cant believe he cant see this. I feel like he wants me to have no one. I cant call my parents or anyone and she is the closest person I have. He laughs. But everything he does right now is ok. He thinks everything his mom does is fine. His exact words were " that is just the way she is she disrespects everyone you just have to deal with it"?????? But then turns around and tells me he keeps his mouth shut because he doesnt want to disrespect his mom! What about respaecting me!
I am 25 and married to the most wonderful man. He is so ggod to me and kind... however he doesnt stick up for me and is starting to do things I never imagined.
I was abused physically and verbally and mentally for the majority of my life by my dad. My parents came to visit 3 months ago and stirred things up. Now I am facing all these abuse issues I never dealt with... this is problem #1.
SO... I am really struggling with my temper and emotions from this. Then problem #2. I have 4 kids. 3 of which are 1 yr apart. So I now have a whole slew of medical problems. My bladder, uterus and cervix are falling out as well as my rectum. I cannot control bowel movements and I have excessive rectal bleeding from pre-cancerous polyps.
So here again I am in emotional wreckage.....problem #3. I have not alot of support so I take alot out on my husband and from how I was raised I am a big yeller. And am starting to curse excessively. Sometimes I dont even remember what I say and the littlest thing sets me off.
Problem #4 is my in laws. My husbadn finds no issue but I am struglling BIG TIME. My mother in law isnt a witch but she just makes me feel like dirt. I cant figure out if I am being overly critical or I have valid reason to be concernted. This is the major issue right now. I really need advice on this topic most. I try to be respectful and sometimes to the point were it is fake. SHe came over for my husband's birthday and our daughter was crying. We were about to blow out candles and she wanted me to hold the baby so everyone else could sing to him. It really hurt me because he is my husband and I provided this whole party for him. I couldnt take the baby in the room with the cake because she was screamming from being scared of one of our guests. I just think this was disrespectful
Also she calls and asks my husband if he is going to work and asks details and such. He says it is ok because it doesnt bother him but it does me. I feel it would be ok to ask how he likes his job or how it is going but to blatenly ask if he is going is like he is 10 yrs old. He got fired a yr ago and ever since she is always on top of where he works. I feel if anyone it should be me asking and even then I dont feel it neccessary to ask my grown husband if he is going to work.
I know she knows better and I feel like she does it because he allows her like he is still a boy. She called the other day to take our children somewhere and said to dress them nice. Well it would have been one thing if she meant dressing up but she meant casually. Well that makles me feel like they arent dressed nice any other time she sees them. They dont even visit that much yet she has new clothing for them at her house to change them inot. Then I dresses the kids as I found appropriate and she went and bought an outfit to change our daughter into. Now I know it is cool for her to buy our kids clothes and I appreciate it however to buy her an outfit to go somewhere with her and change her from what I put her in hurts my feelings.
Then today really boggled me. As I said I have been very hurtful to my husband verbally for no reason. Today I finnally set him off and he now is divorcing me. So he called his best friend, and nrother to tell them. I think this is awful and unfair. So his brother called the rest of his family and they came after church. My father in law did try to talk him out of it which I appreciate.
Anyways we had a babysitter when they came and we were getting ready to leave. BUT THEY STAYED????? Is that noraml? They stayed in our house with our babysitter? They are more than welcome here but is it normal for them to stay after we leave? Then my son had on a shirt that was dirty from a cholcolate he had just ate so my in laws took him with them without telling us and said they were taking him to give him a bath and change his clothes? My husband thinks they were trying to helpful but frankly I finds this rude! Now I feel like I have to be the lookout and have my kids spic and span every moment. We have 4 kids and it is hard to buy them all really nice clothes. I just dont get this behavior. They also commented how my baby had on the same shirt she went over there house in the previous morning. It wasnt that I dont bathe my kids but we were busy all morning then started fighting.
Am I being overly critical. Is any of this wrong. I do not want to be a driopping faucet and a constant nag. It is just so much to take with everything else. We go to their house every single holiday and she never lets me help with dinner. It just goes on and on. Am I taking this all the wrong way. I just wanted a family of my own and this is not happening. Even with my sickness she will say she cares and then not call. I have to get another colonoscopy and I called her to tell her so she might watch the kids and she didnt ask me what was wrong or even if I was ok.
Please someone give me any advice. I am now losing my husband. I dont know how I am supposed to act with all this going on. Even my mom wont send our children anyhting for Christmas because she feels I am wrong for not letting go what my dad did. I feel like God is trying to drown me right now.
The worst is my husband. Our checking account is in his name and we have never ever fought over money ever! well today i asked him for the card so i could pay our sitter and because I was supposed to go to the ER tonight because my bleeding has changed ... and he said I wasnt spending any of HIS MONEY! I just deposited 603 dollars in it? I just dont get it. I have never spent anything other than groceries or clothes and bills. Why is he being so mean. He listens to everything his parents tell him and I am really scared they told him I would empty the account. Our insurance ran out on the 30 of nov and I know I am going to have to get a prescription filled. I cannot believe he sunk thi slow. I am really really scared I am going to hurt myself and go to hell. Then he laughed about me calling my boss alot to lean on her but it is OK for him to involve his whole family? I cant believe he cant see this. I feel like he wants me to have no one. I cant call my parents or anyone and she is the closest person I have. He laughs. But everything he does right now is ok. He thinks everything his mom does is fine. His exact words were " that is just the way she is she disrespects everyone you just have to deal with it"?????? But then turns around and tells me he keeps his mouth shut because he doesnt want to disrespect his mom! What about respaecting me!
