The day I hit my lowest point in my marriage was the day God showed me how much he loves me. It was last May and my husband was really coming down on me harshly. It was three days and the last day I had a couple of drinks, I couldn't beleive what he was doing, there was so much hatred in him towards me I was at a loss. There I was scratching my head saying I thought he wanted to work things out cause a few months prior we were sitting in counceling together at our church saying that very thing. I was working through and trying to forgive my husband for something that had happend with him and a women that I knew at our church. And thinking to my self what gives him that right to treat me like this after all that just happened!
He came home that evening and freaked out on me, I had fallen asleep on the couch watching TV there was a movie on Cinamax that I fell asleep watching. I don't know if any of you know what happens after a certain hour on those channles, hence we dont have that channel any longer! But there he was woke me up out of a dead sleep screeming at me calling me a pervert and saying all sorts of things. I got up and walked away from went in our bedroom and closed and locked the door. He then proceeded to break down the door cause he wasnt done with his raging yet. I then got up grabbed my purse and headed for the door, I couldnt take it any more. He then proceeded to follow me out of our home talking the mose horendous things. All I wanted to do was get away from it. I tried leaving and since I had a drink earlier he said that I was drunk and I shouldnt go anywhere. I proceeded to go to my van and leave not saying a word. It was the last blow out of his mouth that was it, His words," take your (use you imagination) girls with you im tired of supporting them"! *** there was no pause I turned and hit him fist closed and did not stop. We struggled and he took the keys from me and he went back in the house. I fell down and began to cry. The words that I spoke to the Lord were how, why, did I get to this point.
. . I left my house walking and crying it was 1:00am and dark. He called me and said come home and I said no, and I said If what I did wasnt enough for you then I will call my brothers and have them finish. I didnt want to go home. A police man saw me just standing out there crying and he stopped I told him what happend and he drove me to the police station. He (my husband) at that point decided to have me arrested. I had already confessed to what I had done so there it was 33yrs old and in a police station. They let me go home with my mom but the next day I had to go to court. Boy, still in awwww and absolute shock about my behavior and still asking the Lord why I and what brought me to this point. They made me go for a drug and acohol and anger evaluation. I sat answering questions, I HAD TO PEE IN A CUP IN FRONT OF a total stranger. At the end of the evaluation the women came to me and stated I am recomending no treatment needed. Boy! Someone saw truth! The court nollied the charges against me and that was it. But that still lingering question in my heart WHY!I have to finish this at a later time. But for the meantime. God Loves me
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