Can a Protestant date a non-Christian?

[Alexandra Chris TD]

Hey everyone!

I have a serious problem that I'd like to discuss.
I'm a freshman in college and I met a guy who's a Protestant. We've fallen in love. But I'm not a Protestant. In fact, my parents aren't Christians though my dad was baptized, they're not believers. As a result I wasn't baptized nor taught much about religion. Actually I don't know if I believe in God or not. But this boy I love and who loves me has a very strong faith in God. He goes to church every Sunday, goes to youth club and is very involved in his church community. And so is his family.
He knew I wasn't a Christian from the beginning but we were spending a lot of time together and enjoying it so I thought we were gonna date. But when we finally talked about it, he said he couldn't date me even though he had feelings for me because I'm not a Protestant.
I think it takes a lot of courage to make such decision but it causes me a lot of pain (and I know it also hurts him a lot) and I find this situation unfair. I mean there's a lot of people who are obviously not meant to be together and yet they stick together. Plus can I be blamed for being raised in a family who doesn't believe in God?
This whole situation got me wondering what my beliefs were. Turns out I have no idea so I started reading the Bible. I find it really interesting. I even went to church and it made me feel better. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to become a Christian for him. I've always wanted to read the Bible. This situation is just what made me realize that it was about time to do it.

Anyway, my point is: if you were this boy, would you date me? I mean I respect his beliefs, I'm even impressed. I would never do or say anything that could weaken his faith. I'm even willing to go to church with him. I would never do anything to threat his abstinence vow (and I'm still a virgin) and I can assure you that our relationship is only based on true and pure feelings. And I'm getting more and more attracted to religion thanks to the Bible. I mean this isn't how average non-Christians are, right?

So yeah, what would you if you were him? And if there something in the Bible that says Christians can only be with Christians (on a dating level! cause I know Christians can't marry non-Christians)?

I hope I might myself clear and that you guys can help me with this issue

 

[Sailorgirl13]

Hey Alexandra,

The bible doesn't say anything prohibiting relationships between Christian and non-Christian as long as they are kept pure and moral. It does however, raise the point of what do Christians have in common with non believers on a spiritual level. (2 Corinthians 6:15)
And seeing as a relationship is meant to support and help both members, this would leave one partner lacking in opportunity to engage their spiritual journey with the other.

That's the only objection the bible has to marrying non Christians.

From experience, my mum is a Christian but my dad isn't and let's just say we don't have the happiest of households. For me that proves how hard a cross-religion relationships are.

You never know though, I've known people who have dated and brought their girlfriend/boyfriend to Christ. But Christians generally don't date unless they believe there's a future with this person I.e. they are going to marry them.
So dating a non christian is almost the same as marrying one.
My pastor likes to say "remember you are dating someone else's future husband or wife" and to respect that.

In your situation, I think it's great that you are enjoying reading the bible and learning more about God.
In a way it's a good thing that you are in the position you are now because if you didn't know this boy, you might never have been prompted to start a journey with Christ.

I would talk to him about God and show interest in listening to his views. Maybe you can go along to his youth group or church. But I'd tell him that you aren't doing this just because you want to date him. Tell him how sincerely you want to know Jesus and ask for is help.

Even if your parents aren't baptised, that doesn't stop you choosing to be. You can't be blamed for growing up without religion but take this opportunity now.

I wouldn't mention dating to him yet, just work on the spiritual part first

If I've missed anything or you have any questions feel free to ask away. I'll try to answer. Hopefully that helped (I don't think I explain things very well) and good luck.
I'm praying for you

 

[Girder of Loins]

Honestly, dating for me is to find a wife. Not to find what i like in a wife. So, from that viewpoint, anybody non-Christian is already scratched off my list.

But from another side, it could be family stresses. His family might not approve(there are a lot of biggotted people out in the Christian world), and they may even disown him(extremety... but hey). It could also be that he feels convicted about dating non-Christians. I'm sure this guy has feelings for you, and wishes he could be with you forever and ever, but he may feel convicted about what would happen if you both got really serious and having to dump you. I know I would! In that case, he is looking out for you, and thats pretty cool. Stick around, and keep reading that Bible! If you two love eachother truly, you both will take the time to settle the differences! Best of wishes to the both of you!

 

[Alexandra Chris TD]

Hey Alexandra,

The bible doesn't say anything prohibiting relationships between Christian and non-Christian as long as they are kept pure and moral. It does however, raise the point of what do Christians have in common with non believers on a spiritual level. (2 Corinthians 6:15)
And seeing as a relationship is meant to support and help both members, this would leave one partner lacking in opportunity to engage their spiritual journey with the other.

That's the only objection the bible has to marrying non Christians.

From experience, my mum is a Christian but my dad isn't and let's just say we don't have the happiest of households. For me that proves how hard a cross-religion relationships are.

You never know though, I've known people who have dated and brought their girlfriend/boyfriend to Christ. But Christians generally don't date unless they believe there's a future with this person I.e. they are going to marry them.
So dating a non christian is almost the same as marrying one.
My pastor likes to say "remember you are dating someone else's future husband or wife" and to respect that.

In your situation, I think it's great that you are enjoying reading the bible and learning more about God.
In a way it's a good thing that you are in the position you are now because if you didn't know this boy, you might never have been prompted to start a journey with Christ.

I would talk to him about God and show interest in listening to his views. Maybe you can go along to his youth group or church. But I'd tell him that you aren't doing this just because you want to date him. Tell him how sincerely you want to know Jesus and ask for is help.

Even if your parents aren't baptised, that doesn't stop you choosing to be. You can't be blamed for growing up without religion but take this opportunity now.

I wouldn't mention dating to him yet, just work on the spiritual part first

If I've missed anything or you have any questions feel free to ask away. I'll try to answer. Hopefully that helped (I don't think I explain things very well) and good luck.
I'm praying for you

I'm working a lot on the spiritual part, on my own. Does it seem weird to turn myself to God when the only thing that seems to keep me away from being happy is God?
Your answer is very kind and really helped me a lot! And you did answer all my questions! Thank you very much!! and I truly hope things better for you and your parents!! If I ever convert, I'll pray for you

Honestly, dating for me is to find a wife. Not to find what i like in a wife. So, from that viewpoint, anybody non-Christian is already scratched off my list.

I totally understand. It makes perfect sense to me now. But I feel like it must be very hard for you so I'm impressed

I'm sure this guy has feelings for you, and wishes he could be with you forever and ever, but he may feel convicted about what would happen if you both got really serious and having to dump you.

I had never thought of that. When I read your message, I realized it was best for both us not to date until I was sure of my own beliefs. And this thing is actually very thoughtful and sweet. Oh and I don't think there's any family pressure.

Stick around, and keep reading that Bible! If you two love eachother truly, you both will take the time to settle the differences! Best of wishes to the both of you!

Thank you very much! I hope things get better and if God wants us to be together, we'll end up together eventually, right?

 

[Precisely]

Hey Alexandra,

The bible doesn't say anything prohibiting relationships between Christian and non-Christian as long as they are kept pure and moral.

This is very wrong.

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? " -2 Corinthians 6:14

"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" -Amos 3:3

Alexandra, if you enter a relationship with a Christian, the only thing you will accomplish is draining him of zeal for God and conviction of sin. You will draw him AWAY from God, instead of toward God. He is going in one direction, and you are going in the other direction. HOW could that work out? It can't. A relationship is a spiritual bond between two people. To bond hot water with cold water, all you have is luke warm. Unless you actually get saved and live for Jesus Christ, that relationship will never be blessed of God.

 

[Alexandra Chris TD]

Alexandra, if you enter a relationship with a Christian, the only thing you will accomplish is draining him of zeal for God and conviction of sin. You will draw him AWAY from God, instead of toward God. He is going in one direction, and you are going in the other direction. HOW could that work out? It can't. A relationship is a spiritual bond between two people. To bond hot water with cold water, all you have is luke warm. Unless you actually get saved and live for Jesus Christ, that relationship will never be blessed of God.

That's... harsh and kinda offensive. But it's ok, I asked for people's opinion; you're giving me yours.
Don't worry anyway, I've never tried to draw him away from God. I'm too respectful for that. And I've turned myself to God in the meantime. We're still not dating though cause I wanna strenghten my faith in God and Jesus before getting into any relationship.

 

[Precisely]

That's... harsh and kinda offensive. But it's ok, I asked for people's opinion; you're giving me yours.
Don't worry anyway, I've never tried to draw him away from God. I'm too respectful for that. And I've turned myself to God in the meantime. We're still not dating though cause I wanna strenghten my faith in God and Jesus before getting into any relationship.

I don't mean to sound harsh, I'm just honest. I'm not going to water down the truth, I want to be clear. Sacrificing dating to develop a relationship with Jesus is the smartest thing you could ever do. The more you grow in your relationship with God, the more attractive you'll be to a Christian man wanting to live for God. However, it needs to be out of love for God, not because you want to be with some guy. You need to be in a position where you can say "Even if I don't get to be with the guy I like, I will still love and follow Jesus." If that's your heart, God will definitely honor that.

 

[Alexandra Chris TD]

I understand, it's okay

However, it needs to be out of love for God, not because you want to be with some guy. You need to be in a position where you can say "Even if I don't get to be with the guy I like, I will still love and follow Jesus." If that's your heart, God will definitely honor that.

Believe me that's exactly what I want to avoid! This is something personal! If God wants me to be with this guy, it'll happen. If not, it'll be for the best since it's God decision. I just don't wanna realize someday that I started believing in God for the wrong reasons, that's why I'm giving up dating for now.

 

[Chilaha]

This is very wrong.

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? " -2 Corinthians 6:14

"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" -Amos 3:3

Alexandra, if you enter a relationship with a Christian, the only thing you will accomplish is draining him of zeal for God and conviction of sin. You will draw him AWAY from God, instead of toward God. He is going in one direction, and you are going in the other direction. HOW could that work out? It can't. A relationship is a spiritual bond between two people. To bond hot water with cold water, all you have is luke warm. Unless you actually get saved and live for Jesus Christ, that relationship will never be blessed of God.

Agreed.

But, if she decides to become a Christian I see no problem with you guys dating. Which I have seen you are considering.

 

[mentalkitty789]

Unless the faith says specifically not to have romantic relationships with people outside of your own faith. I don't see why not.
If he cares about you, he would love you regardless of your own beliefs.

 

[s24jorge]

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14

Um...lemme jus say this. My sister has a boyfriend that isnt a christian, but does go to a Lutheran church. I am 100% ok with this, for there is a possibility that through my sister, he can become a Christian. But when it comes to decide on dating a non christian or not, It would be hard. Thats when i would come and ask God, jus keep in mind, respect his decision, for he is just trying to follow Christ fully. As for you, reading the Bible or something because of him won't cut it. You need to think to yourself. What am I doing wrong in life and what am i missing? Then whenever you realize it, don't call out to God in desperate attempts to get a boyfriend. Call out cause you NEED him.

 

[Gath]

I see no problem with it. After all, if God loves all of his people equally, why would he be opposed? In my view, if you love somebody but refuse to be with them because somebody else told you to, well...you should make your own choices, to say the least.

 

[HollyVB]

He can date you, but it will be difficult. If you don't convert, the two of you will always have different mind sets. His eyes and heart should be on Christ. If you aren't a Christian, it will be difficult. I wouldn't date a non-Christian. I couldn't do it to myself.

 

[shabbo148]

I reckon its fine