Okay, I am blond and I still think the jokes are funny, so no hate maill please :0
GEOGRAPHY
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench
talking........ and one blonde says to the other, "Which do
you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see
Florida...?????!"
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells
the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is
idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do
that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks
her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get
your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today
you expect me to show it to you!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a
river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she
shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river
then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office
and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast
and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more She
pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and
screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream! .
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead,
are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a
blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is
broken."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on
the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the
blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious
to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window,
turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A
SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one
day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on
the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and
shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll
burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid,
you know. We're going to wait until night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was
her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her
question was,
"If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name,
can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked,
"Is it on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had
acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded
by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming
dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO!.....," answered the blond.
"They're watch dogs!"
GEOGRAPHY
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench
talking........ and one blonde says to the other, "Which do
you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see
Florida...?????!"
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells
the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is
idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do
that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks
her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get
your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today
you expect me to show it to you!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a
river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she
shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river
then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office
and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast
and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more She
pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and
screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream! .
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead,
are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a
blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is
broken."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on
the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the
blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious
to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window,
turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A
SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one
day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on
the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and
shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll
burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid,
you know. We're going to wait until night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was
her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her
question was,
"If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name,
can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked,
"Is it on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had
acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded
by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming
dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO!.....," answered the blond.
"They're watch dogs!"
