being a young adult Christian

[butterfly33]

Hi guys,

Well I became a Christian when i was 16. I was so excited and the first year or two were so exciting and spirit-filled for me that I would not take a second look at the things of the world. When I turned 18 & with the pressure of the HSC I started going out a lot partying & I got off track with my faith. Now I'm almost 19 and im about to go to uni and I know God loves me and I have no doubt in my mind that he isnt real....but I just dont want to live as a christian. I know this is bad, ok. I have so much fun and I just love who I am and love life when I go out partying and I love the sponteneity and freedom of living as a "non-christian". When I come back to God I feel so sheltered and I cant go anywhere because there is nothing for people my age to do as Christians. everything is so restricted; every time I go out I have to be cautious that I dont drink too much, dont set a bad example, etc etc. all the christians my age do is get a boyfriend/girlfriend and get married and settle down at the approximate age of 21! I dont want to do that! I want to go to uni, make heaps of friends and not worry about whether they will be a 'bad influence' or not, go out every weekend, plan spontaneous trips, not know whats around the corner, have a career, get married late etc!! I'm just sick of this predictable life in which the only thing I have to look forward to is heaven which is probably 80 or so years away and im getting depressed finding things that will help me pass the time that will not damage my faith! I dont know who to talk to because all the women in my church didnt become christians until their late 20's early 30s and they tell me stories of their younger years of when they went out partying travelling you name it and they rave on about how good it was but then they say "but im glad im a christian NOW"......far out....is there any older women here that survived their 20s as chrisitains?? what did you do? what did you look forward to? how did you spend your weekends? I need advice!!

Thanks
butterfly

 

[BrianN]

I definitely understand where you're coming from. From what you said, I don't think there is any fundamental desire that is against Christianity, though. Drinking, partying, making friends, and being spontaneous is nothing to regret if you are always aware of your surroundings and don't get involved in compromising situations. Learn to set boundaries and you will be able to do what you want. Let me know what you think and any additional concerns.

 

[artjack]

follow what your head and mind says about following jesus, not what your heart is saying, jesus said , if you will believe me, from the heart come all evil intentions.

 

[Johnnz]

There is something radically wrong with a Christian who has been led to believe that we can't go out and have some real fun. We should see God as the source of every good thing. We don't go to some of the extremes that others might, but we shoudn't be dull wallflowers either.

John
NZ

 

[creationscrown]

Hi guys,

Well I became a Christian when i was 16. I was so excited and the first year or two were so exciting and spirit-filled for me that I would not take a second look at the things of the world. When I turned 18 & with the pressure of the HSC I started going out a lot partying & I got off track with my faith. Now I'm almost 19 and im about to go to uni and I know God loves me and I have no doubt in my mind that he isnt real....but I just dont want to live as a christian. I know this is bad, ok. I have so much fun and I just love who I am and love life when I go out partying and I love the sponteneity and freedom of living as a "non-christian". When I come back to God I feel so sheltered and I cant go anywhere because there is nothing for people my age to do as Christians. everything is so restricted; every time I go out I have to be cautious that I dont drink too much, dont set a bad example, etc etc. all the christians my age do is get a boyfriend/girlfriend and get married and settle down at the approximate age of 21! I dont want to do that! I want to go to uni, make heaps of friends and not worry about whether they will be a 'bad influence' or not, go out every weekend, plan spontaneous trips, not know whats around the corner, have a career, get married late etc!! I'm just sick of this predictable life in which the only thing I have to look forward to is heaven which is probably 80 or so years away and im getting depressed finding things that will help me pass the time that will not damage my faith! I dont know who to talk to because all the women in my church didnt become christians until their late 20's early 30s and they tell me stories of their younger years of when they went out partying travelling you name it and they rave on about how good it was but then they say "but im glad im a christian NOW"......far out....is there any older women here that survived their 20s as chrisitains?? what did you do? what did you look forward to? how did you spend your weekends? I need advice!!

Thanks
butterfly

I know that sometimes the Christian life can seem restricted and boring - but it doesn't have to be. God told us to avoid all appearances of evil, not because He wanted our lives to dull, but because He wanted us to guard our hearts from the evil of the world. Christianity doesn't mean you can't be with friends (Christians and non-Christians), or go out on weekends or even drink from time to time. It just means you need to be careful not to get yourself entagled in the world.

And who says you have to be married early and skip University if you are a Christian woman? That is sooooo not true. Be your independent self, but dedicate your life and time to becoming closer to your heavenly Father. If you make that your priority and everything else comes second, your life will be time well spent!


God Bless you!!!

 

[aldar]

drinking? partying? having tons of friends and doing crazy stuff isnt agaisnt the bible... though i do see how the general feeling of christianity can bring a sense of "should i do this.." that can be kinda depressing.

but life will always be about making sacrifices in order to get what you want and need.
especcially when you get older and have family, whether you like it or not you wont be able to do everything you want to.
the only people who do EVERYTHING they want to do are pot smokin hippies... haha... and thats just cus they live messed up lives have no real friends or family, with no money, and have nothing to take care of.

im not saying you should be a christian, but you need to start practicing discipline atleast on a moderate level because youll need it for a good job and a family in the future.

 

[heron]

And who says you have to be married early and skip University if you are a Christian woman? That is sooooo not true.

You have just summed up your personality, your dreams, and your life goals in one quick post. Hold on to those and don't let others tell you to live someone else's life. It will only be painful.

you need to start practicing discipline atleast on a moderate level because youll need it for a good job and a family in the future.

I'll agree with this. Go out and have fun, but don't allow drinking to negatively impact your life. Because it has many ways of doing this. Especially when you're trying to get through school -- you'll need a clear head to get your money's worth.

Start a list of non-alcoholic drinks that you can get at these places, and order a few when you're out (bars always have juices and sodas and mixes.) Who cares if your friends complain you're not drinking enough.

 

[MrsSagorski1611]

You should also think about in the long run what is going to matter more? Will the friends you make stay with you when the hard times come? Jesus will always stay with you, he will always be there for you, and your friends wont. The Bible says that those things are only fun for a season, but when it comes down to it, those things just don't last!

My husband and I married 1 and a half months ago, and I have had more fun since, then I have ever in my life. Marriage isn't settling down into the boring routine of life, marriage is wonderful. (I'm not saying that you should just go out and get married because it is fun, I'm just trying to correct the feeling that marriage is settling down, and the end of your fun life.)

 

[LilLamb219]

I think the church you're going to is burdening you with too much law talk (and not God's law either) so that you don't even really know that Christians can go out and have fun! A lot of the things you've listed are allowed! But as some people said, in excess will not be a good thing for you, Christian or not.

Although I can't tell you to join a new church, I'd advise you to seriously question whether that church is telling you what God wants or what they want.

 

[GideonSmythe]

It's great being young and you should never forget it. Me and my boyfriend go to loads of parties and clubs and have experimented in certain things that I would never have imagined a few years ago. It's the only way to find yourself. It hasn't changed our relationship with God but new doors of perception have been opened into our understanding of the good book. Nothing wrong with 'feeding your mind' as the Rev A. Jefferson once said.

 

[DaughterofZion63]

Wow! I am so glad you made this post and I was so happy to read the replies. I lived my high school years and first college year care free. I got drunk and partied; I didn't care what was right or wrong, bad or good. But I now want to live a true Christian life. I want to be a good person, help others, and give the gift of love through Jesus Christ. However, I have been stressed about what is right and wrong in terms of social interactions and entertainment. Can I drink? Can I party? Can I go out?

I don't think drinking in itself is wrong; I think the reasoning and excess are what become trouble. I wish people could stop being so worried about getting "wasted" and worry more about spending quality time with friends. I like mixed fruity girly drinks, but hate beer and hard liquor. I wish I could find friends, Christian and/or not, who want to go out and have fun, but not forget all reason.

Good luck, but be careful.

 

[PraiseTheLord84]

Dear butterfly,
After reading your letter, I really felt compelled to write.As a concerned brother in Christ, I need to share some important things with you from God's Word (the Holy Scriptures).What I am about to say is said in truth and it may be hard to hear but it's said in love.

You have basically said that at the young age of 16 you had a genuine Salvation experience with Jesus then about two years later while in HSC you fell into temptation, and now you want to "hang up your Christian coat" for awhile, experience the world, the flesh and the devil and later in life when you're ready to settle down, put you "spiritual coat" back on and "get right with Jesus".
God did'nt sacrifice His Beloved Son, Jesus, to suffer the agony of the cross so we could get saved, say, "Thank you Lord" and go back out into the world to satisfy the flesh.We are "bought with a price", and what a price that was paid! I Corinthians 6:19 & 20 say, "What! know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price:therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."
The Bible is very clear about how we, as Christians, should walk in order to please God.It compares "walking in the flesh" with "walking in the Spirit" many times.Please read Romans chapter 8, verses 1 to 14 for an indebt reading about what I just shared. Just a few excerpts from Romans 8. Verse 6: "For to be carnally minded is death....". Verse 13: "For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify (kill-figuratively) the deeds of the body, ye shall live." Romans 13:14 states, " But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof."
What you want to do butterfly is satisfy the lust of your flesh; be carnal. This is'nt was God created you for. He has a higher calling for all of us; remember when we accepted Christ as our Savior, the Scriptures say " We are NEW creatures in Christ, behold ALL things become new." We can't be "friends with the world" and please our Father. James 4:4 states, ".....know ye not that the friendship of the world is emnity with God? whosover therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God." 2 Corinthians 6:17 says, " Wherefore come out from among them and be ye separate....". If you associate with ungodly people they will sway your faith. The enemy will use every evil device he can to pull you away from "your first love, Jesus". I Peter 5:8 states, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion,walketh about, seeking whom he may devour."
When you go out and party in the world, what type of a witness are you? I Thessalonians 5:22 says, "Abstain from all appearance of evil." Drinking and getting drunk is not an apearance of holiness. Proverbs says "stay away from strong drink" and "wine is a mocker". Galatians 5:21 mentions that drunkeness is a sin.
Butterfly, you said that you know God loves you, and He does! But be reminded that He also "rebukes and chastens" His children when they are disobediant. God also says in Galatians 6:7 & 8, " Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man (or woman) soweth, that shall he ( or she) also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting." Another very important matter is the fact that someday "we all" MUST STAND BEFORE THE JUDGEMENT SEAT OF CHRIST.This is not the Great White Throne Judgement that is for the unsaved, but the judgement of God's children for what we did for Him while in our earthly bodies, after we got saved. Romans 14:11 & 12 says, " For it is written, as I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God." Wouldn't it be embarrasing to face God knowing that we "forsook" Him for awhile just so we could go out, have "fun" in the flesh?
You also had mentioned that "the only thing you had to look forward to is heaven which is probably 80 or so years away.." I know because you are young that death seems far away, but it is'nt. None of us are promised tomorrow (on earth) only eternally.That's one of Satan"s lies; " you're young, you have your whole life ahead of you, go out party, eat , drink and be merry...." but he does'nt finish the sentence, " for tomorrow we die"!James 4:14 states, "Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away." People die every day unexpectedly, Christian and non-Christian alike. Don't be seduced by the enemy.
Here is the good news butterfly, Hebrews 4:15 & 16 says, "For we have not a high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." Jesus loves you very much and He wants the BEST for you, nothing less.If you humble yourself before Him, repent of your carnal ways, He will forgive you.Ask Him to bring you back to your first love, which is Jesus. Ask God to give you a new excitement about His ways.If you truly seek His face, butterfly, He will lift you up and embolden your spirit.Ask Jesus to bring Christian friends into your life at the university. Look for good, clean, fun things to do with them. See if there is a Bible study or Christian fellowship at the school.
Don't be in rebellion to God. He says it is as bad as witchcraft.Repent. He loves you.God bless you my sister.

 

[heron]

I don't think drinking in itself is wrong; I think the reasoning and excess are what become trouble. I wish people could stop being so worried about getting "wasted" and worry more about spending quality time with friends. I like mixed fruity girly drinks, but hate beer and hard liquor. I wish I could find friends, Christian and/or not, who want to go out and have fun, but not forget all reason.

DaughterofZion,
You've summed up what seems to make sense to you, but might have had few backers in the past. Remember that your faith is not based on what people approve or disapprove of.

I've found that when my friends drink, I can just about forget talking to them about anything serious or personal, because they are in their own little worlds then, and will forget what I say anyway.

Butterfly (and DaughterofZion),
Your faith is not based on what people approve or disapprove of. (Yup, I repeated myself.) It's between you and God.

There are times when the conclusions are surprising, what we hear from God when we keep reading various angles on a topic. Getting a go-ahead is not about getting away with things, or free license, or finally getting Christian approval. You need to find what will enrich your life in Him.

Because whatever you build as your life's foundation now, helps sustain you later.

Catch yourself when you find yourself in an us/them mode with God. A legalistic church can reinforce that mindset, but it's one that will pull you away from true devotion to Him.

Spending time with friends is not a bad thing. Pay attention to how much time you spend....it could be as many hours as you're working! Make sure you're not avoiding moving the rest of your life forward.

De-stressing is a healthy thing, as long as you're not saying and encouraging destructive things that will add more stress to your life.

It's the only way to find yourself.

????? Gideon, ???? Erm, welcome here... I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

 

[JPPT1974]

You know that you can party but
You can do it with the drinking, drugs,
Or doing things that will get you in jail
But do it rather responsibly and not
Go against God's morals aka compromising
His will for your life!

 

[houstonsandra]

Hi my name is Valerie Im new to this forum. I love Jesus and what some other believers to talk to .

 

[hazeleyes80]

Butterfly, I know that drinking and partying can be fun. About 3.5 years ago (before I joined this site), I went through a bit of a phase like that. I can honestly tell you that I am enjoying my life A LOT more now that I have accepted Jesus into my heart and have really begun my walk with Him. You can have fun without drinking to excess (if that's what you're doing). Enjoying food, faith, and fellowship with others can be enjoyable. As for getting married - if you're not ready, don't do it. Nobody's saying that you have to marry young. If the partying and fun that you are having are not "Christian" or "Biblical," then I pray that the Lord touches your heart and brings you back to a closer fellowship with Him. Walking with Jesus when you see others not doing that can be hard. I am a person who does care about what others think, so it's something that I struggle with. The thing is though, the Bible tells us not to be conformed to this world (Romans 12:2). I'm still working on that one myself, though (ways other than partying), so I know how you might be feeling. I pray that God leads you in the direction that He wants you to go.

Hi my name is Valerie Im new to this forum. I love Jesus and what some other believers to talk to .

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