Author: More teens becoming 'fake' Christians

[Yusuf Evans]

How about school? Do you think parents should let their children decide whether or not they want to go to school?

Apples and Oranges, period. Isn't Christianity supposed to be a choice, according to doctrine? Going to school is another area altogether, as you need school to do anything as an adult.

 

[Ar Cosc]

As long as my children live under my roof, they WILL go to church, no ifs ands or butts and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

As a young adult, the only times I didn't attend church included me being sick or if I had to work. Otherwise, I was expected to go. And I did. And that habit has continued into my adulthood...of course there were times I didn't want to go or times where I tried to rebel against the system...but the fact that I kept going and kept strengthening my faith made a HUGE difference in the end.

Those parents who let their children decide do them a huge disservice. That is where we start out with watered down gospel. The bible tells us that we should train a child up in the way he should go. Allowing the child to make the decisions (and by child I mean young adults as well) isn't training him up in the way he should go. Almost every parent/family I know who did this now have children who do not attend church and it's not important for those children's families to attend church.

Well surely it's important to let them make their own choice. You believe God gives you the choice whether or not to believe in him, so why not give your children that same option?

It was probably the fact that I did not go to church that kept me nominally christian for so long. I stopped going regularly when I was about 14, but still did the Christmas and Easter thing, and if people asked me, I'd say I believed in God without thinking about it. Ironically, it was when I became close friends with an evangelical Christian aged about 16 or 17, that I actually was forced to think more about christianity, and realise that I just couldn't swallow it.

 

[Auburn88]

Apples and Oranges, period.

How so?

Isn't Christianity supposed to be a choice, according to doctrine?

Whether one chooses to become a Christian or not is a choice. For children, being exposed to your family's customs and beliefs and being raised according to them is not.

Going to school is another area altogether, as you need school to do anything as an adult.

And don't you need to be exposed to religious belief and moral teaching to be able to practice them as an adult?

 

[Auburn88]

The poster mentioned young adults as well. While I feel it's fine to 'force' young children to do things they don't want to do, it's not a good idea to force young adults to do anything without working out the reason for their resistance.

How about school? Do you think they should be forced to go to school?

Young adults have the mental capacity to reason and they are beginning to form their opinions.

So what if they come up with very good ideas why they shouldn't have to go to school?

Like most adults, they will not react positively to stringent controls of their lives. Once they are of age to leave parental supervision, the ones who feel most deeply slightly by their strict upbringing will also rebel most spectacularly.

And that is their choice. But while they're children, Christian parents still have an obligation to raise their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord.

 

[Exiledoomsayer]

How about school? Do you think they should be forced to go to school?

Far as I know, going to school is the law.

And that is their choice. But while they're children, Christian parents still have an obligation to raise their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord.

Get em while their young before they can think this stuf through and scare em with hell fire. Got it.

Really though its a complicated issue as far as where is the line between what nonsense a parent is allowed to make a child believe (santa, easterbunny) And where it becomes harmfull (babies come from plants in a field? A big bird brings you one?) and when its time to intervene. On one hand you have a defenseless child depending on their parents for the tools to deal with the world. On the other hand you have the parents personal believes which they consider very important but might not be accurate (christianity islam, satanism) but they certainly feel they got the right answer and do not want their kids to get it wrong.

Still with regards to the OP article. Seriously so another version of christianity appears who on earth are you to say theirs is wrong?

 

[Charlie Milles]

Mutant Christianity! Oh no!

 

[PreachersWife2004]

Not saying I disagree, but what's the connection between dragging them to church like it or not and them becoming good (as opposed to "watered down") Christians?

People who are not edified in their faith become weak Christians and then usually transform into non-Christians.

I would really advice you not to do this if you want to maintain a relationship with your children after they leave your house.

Most of the members in my family as well as my husband's family were raised like this and we're all very well adjusted and doing just fine and we maintain very healthy relationships with our parents.

Most of the more vocal atheists that I know grew up in houses like this. They almost all deconverted in their late teens or early twenties.

And it probably had nothing to do with having to go to church every Sunday. It probably had more to do with what was being preached or how the parents handled their faith outside of Sunday morning. Being a Christian is actually more than attending church once a week for an hour. Our faith was continually edified in the home as well.

My dad was dragged to church every Sunday by grandma and it left a bad taste in his mouth. It's one thing to require young adults to do something distasteful, but if the child feels forced to, and does not understand why, they will not continue to so as adults. After all, one of the perks of adulthood is not being beholden to parents.

We're not talking about kids who are now adults, we're talking kids in their young to older teen years. Plus, you do actually bring up a good point. Kids should understand why they're going to church. It should never be a "because I said do" attitude. My parents never did this, nor did my husband's parents, nor do we do it with our 14 year old.

The poster mentioned young adults as well. While I feel it's fine to 'force' young children to do things they don't want to do, it's not a good idea to force young adults to do anything without working out the reason for their resistance.

Of course! Like above, I'm not advocating that you just tell your kids "you're going and that's that." But my teenager isn't going to tell me "no, I'm not" and then not go. Nope, he can raise his objections but he's still going to church because especially in the young adult stages, it is imperative that they maintain their faith.

It's hard to reason with a three year old why it's important to not have ice cream for supper, but if a 16 year old feels the same way, forcing them to eat their carrots won't make them healthier eaters as adults. Once you reach a certain age, merely forcing children to do something teaches nothing, solves nothing. Young adults have the mental capacity to reason and they are beginning to form their opinions. Like most adults, they will not react positively to stringent controls of their lives. Once they are of age to leave parental supervision, the ones who feel most deeply slightly by their strict upbringing will also rebel most spectacularly.

There was a lot of stuff my parents made me do as a teenager that I did not quite understand at the time, or that I severely disliked. However, looking back now, I see why they did what they did. Generally, it's not until a person becomes a parent that they understand some of the choices their parents made for them.

I was raised in a very strict household and my rebellious period had nothing to with how strict they were...it was an emotional response to being date raped. Looking back, while I do not need to be as strict with my children, I can see why they were strict with me.

Well surely it's important to let them make their own choice. You believe God gives you the choice whether or not to believe in him, so why not give your children that same option?

They don't get to choose whether they attend church. At some point in time, if my child feels that it's time for him to leave the faith, we'll obviously counsel him against it and then take the proper steps as outlined by Matthew 18, but as a teenager he doesn't suddenly get to go "well, I don't believe any more so I'm not going to church". When parents let their children make that decision, they effectively shut down any evangelism work that the church could do.

It was probably the fact that I did not go to church that kept me nominally christian for so long. I stopped going regularly when I was about 14, but still did the Christmas and Easter thing, and if people asked me, I'd say I believed in God without thinking about it. Ironically, it was when I became close friends with an evangelical Christian aged about 16 or 17, that I actually was forced to think more about christianity, and realise that I just couldn't swallow it.

No offense, but it seems as though your parents failed in a huge way in training you up as the bible tells them to. You say you can't swallow Christianity, so your reasons to leave had nothing to do with not believing in God, it was more because of what you thought Christianity was, which was probably incorrect given that you were not a regular church attender.

 

[Auburn88]

Most of the members in my family as well as my husband's family were raised like this and we're all very well adjusted and doing just fine and we maintain very healthy relationships with our parents.

Same here. My grandparents founded the church I grew up in, so I was dragged there every Sunday without fail (and most Wednesdays, too), whether I wanted to or not. Although I pretty much stopped going as soon as I moved out of the house and didn't become a Christian until my mid-twenties, I never held anything against my parents because I understood that church was a valuable thing, both spiritually, socially, and an important part of my upbringing.

To this day, I still have a very close relationship with my mother and grandparents, and did with my dad, too, right up until the day he died.

And it probably had nothing to do with having to go to church every Sunday. It probably had more to do with what was being preached or how the parents handled their faith outside of Sunday morning. Being a Christian is actually more than attending church once a week for an hour. Our faith was continually edified in the home as well.

That would be my guess, as well. All too often, what children rebel against isn't church or Christianity or even their parents, but the moralism that so many churches today insist on pushing on children in place of the Gospel.

 

[Ar Cosc]

No offense, but it seems as though your parents failed in a huge way in training you up as the bible tells them to. You say you can't swallow Christianity, so your reasons to leave had nothing to do with not believing in God, it was more because of what you thought Christianity was, which was probably incorrect given that you were not a regular church attender.

How could I take offence to something put so tactfully?!

I'm fairly clear on what christianity is, I've read the Bible, and I've discussed it at length both on the internet, and with my friends and the local priest. If you want to discuss it further with me, feel free to PM me, I don't want to derail this thread too much.

I am eternally grateful to my parents for being kind enough to let me make my own choice about religion. They made me go to church until they thought I was old enough to make my own decision, and although they disagree with the decision I eventually made, they respect my right to make my own choices.

 

[Jase]

As long as my children live under my roof, they WILL go to church, no ifs ands or butts and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

As a young adult, the only times I didn't attend church included me being sick or if I had to work. Otherwise, I was expected to go. And I did. And that habit has continued into my adulthood...of course there were times I didn't want to go or times where I tried to rebel against the system...but the fact that I kept going and kept strengthening my faith made a HUGE difference in the end.

Those parents who let their children decide do them a huge disservice. That is where we start out with watered down gospel. The bible tells us that we should train a child up in the way he should go. Allowing the child to make the decisions (and by child I mean young adults as well) isn't training him up in the way he should go. Almost every parent/family I know who did this now have children who do not attend church and it's not important for those children's families to attend church.

This is the exact mentality that leads so many people towards the path of atheism. Forcing children to believe like you do will inevitably lead them to reject all of Christianity.

 

[Jase]

How about school? Do you think parents should let their children decide whether or not they want to go to school?

Public school is required by law (unless they have an alternative like home school or private). However, public school is not in the same league as forcing children to attend religious services that they don't agree with.

 

[Jase]

And don't you need to be exposed to religious belief and moral teaching to be able to practice them as an adult?

Nope, since morality is not dependent on religion as the millions of moral atheists can attest to.

 

[Auburn88]

public school is not in the same league as forcing children to attend religious services that they don't agree with.

Why not?

Nope, since morality is not dependent on religion as the millions of moral atheists can attest to.

The ones who all base their morality on Judeo-Christian morality.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

This is the exact mentality that leads so many people towards the path of atheism. Forcing children to believe like you do will inevitably lead them to reject all of Christianity.

Wrong. I haven't rejected any part of Christianity, my parents haven't rejected it. Neither has my husband, his parents or the rest of his family.

We were ALL raised that way. We all are still faithful church attenders.

Please come up with a better argument than "you're making atheists this way" because it's bunk. What makes atheists out of Christians is a weak foundation. When you build your house on sand, the house will eventually wash away.

 

[Awesome_Frog]

Why not?

Because we need the ability to communicate, read, do basic math, do research, critical thinking, and understand history in order to function as a society.

The ones who all base their morality on Judeo-Christian morality.

You mean the morality that discourages - Independance, questioning, race mixing, and bans multiple practices of academia, certain food consumption, and certain types of clothing?

But endorses - Slavery, genocide, human/blood sacrifice, the killing of others that disagree with you, the destruction of academia, Marying rapists to the rape victim, Misogyny, and scapegoating.


All this talk about Judeo-Christian morals shows how much people cherry pick from the Bible. For all those that are against Fake Christianity, how many of you still fallow the old laws that Jesus himself claimed he didn't come to change. You know, the food laws, the clothing laws, the worship laws, the laws on work, the laws on cleanliness, menstruation, money, goat/ cattle herding, etc? How many of you are living in poverty and communes? How many of you have severed your party and government ties?

Did any of you actually read your Bible? Or just the parts you like?

 

[PreachersWife2004]

Because we need the ability to communicate, read, do basic math, do research, critical thinking, and understand history in order to function as a society.

You mean the morality that discourages - Independance, questioning, race mixing, and bans multiple practices of academia, certain food consumption, and certain types of clothing?

But endorses - Slavery, genocide, human/blood sacrifice, the killing of others that disagree with you, the destruction of academia, Marying rapists to the rape victim, Misogyny, and scapegoating.

All this talk about Judeo-Christian morals shows how much people cherry pick from the Bible. For all those that are against Fake Christianity, how many of you still fallow the old laws that Jesus himself claimed he didn't come to change. You know, the food laws, the clothing laws, the worship laws, the laws on work, the laws on cleanliness, menstruation, money, goat/ cattle herding, etc? How many of you are living in poverty and communes? How many of you have severed your party and government ties?

Did any of you actually read your Bible? Or just the parts you like?

When was the last time you cracked open a bible instead of parroting tired old rhetoric?

 

[Awesome_Frog]

Wrong. I haven't rejected any part of Christianity, my parents haven't rejected it. Neither has my husband, his parents or the rest of his family.

Do you live in complete poverty, Severed all your political affiliations, give all your spare money to the poor, and stone your children when they act up? If you don't follow any of those then you are rejecting those aspects of Christianity.

We were ALL raised that way. We all are still faithful church attenders.

Same question as above.

Please come up with a better argument than "you're making atheists this way" because it's bunk.

No, I don't think understand why so many look at the Bible and Christianity the way they do.

What makes atheists out of Christians is a weak foundation.

False, and this shows you don't actually understand their position.

When you build your house on sand, the house will eventually wash away.

Or, when you religion embraces Genocide, rape, murder, and Slavery, people tend to avoid it.

 

[Awesome_Frog]

When was the last time you cracked open a bible instead of parroting tired old rhetoric?

This moring, I have 4 differn't bibles and I've read them cover to cover. Its not rhetoric when the second half of Genesis is almost nothing but how this tribe destoryed this tribe and accounts of genocide.

Leviticus, Numbers, and the later half of Exodus are the rules of society. Which include what to do with a raped daughter ( sell her), what to do with non virgins, those that work on the Sabbath, how to treat slaves, how to prepare food, what foods we can and can't eat, what to do when we use the bathroom and menstrual cycles, and how to execute people that disagree.

I ask, when the last time you opened a Bible and just read it cover to cover? Not select passages, the whole thing?

 

[GigageiTsula]

May I ask, Awesome Frog, were you once a Christian? I ask because your posts seem to be very bitter. I'm also asking. I meant no offense.

 

[Awesome_Frog]

May I ask, Awesome Frog, were you once a Christian? I ask because your posts seem to be very bitter. I'm also asking. I meant no offense.

Yeah I was, I didn't leave the faith because of this though. I read these incidents and didn't comprehend what they where saying until years later when I reread them outside of the bias I had built for myself while a Christian.

I'm actually not bitter at Christianity and My best friends are indeed CHristians and we can poke fun at each others beliefs and laugh about it. I only get bitter when I see people that where in the state I was once in. willful ignorance and talking about the beliefs of others.

It angers me because its those that seriously haven't taken the time to comprehend these rules or even talk deeply with people outside their religion, because it dose more damage then recognizing the belief.

The article basically is complaining about something that every generation dose, it/ they absorb the good of their ancestors and throw away the outdated/ bad behavior of their elders.

We've abandoned Genocide, Slavery, and some of the Old testament laws and festivals because their meaning no longer holds water. To Christians of old, the preacher railing against the new generation would be a weak/ Fake Christian.

Understand my position?