Are you ready to meet your husband/wife?

[Kashina]

Yah, I feel that one for sure. It does hurt when they don't have that same investment; especially when you do invest a lot of yourself into making the relationship work, and even into the person you care about.

There definitely are folks out there who see the value you bring though, same as me; and that value deserves to be respected. If they don't got that, or they try to take more than they give, then you and I got more important things we can be doing with our time.

Yes one day we both will meet the one's for us who will see our value.

 

[Tone]

Here's what I've been hearing of late.

If one is about the business of the King, then any partner they may desire must only enhance that. Anything else would only be a distraction.

But, if you're not about that life, then there is no need for another alpha on the team, because you're it...so...

It all kind of summed up for me in this recent floem:



We Do

 

[bèlla]

I completely understand and agree. But I know myself well enough to know that I must guard my heart while getting to know someone.

Guarding our hearts is a biblical principle. We must vette their character before bringing them to our bosom.

I feel a lot. I'm extremely empathetic and have had many many bad experiences with all types of guys and am just waiting on the right one. The one that will make all the lessons learned and hurt feelings all worth it because I ended up meeting him.

It is easier to make wise decisions than hope the one you’ve made won’t exploit you. Putting yourself at another’s mercy and hoping they’ll behave accordingly will bring hurt and disappointment. Few will set aside their agenda on our behalf.

I come from a family that is lead by the women. So I'm pretty strong and stand firm in my beliefs. I want a man that loves God so much and is strong and humble and kind, that he can lead a woman like me who is used to leading. I'm currently just waiting on the Lord.

It isn’t hard to find a leader. It’s difficult to follow when you want the reins. You’ll have a power struggle. If you want to be led and won’t surrender voluntarily, he must wrest the reins from your hands. That’s going to hurt.

I’ll share something I wrote that applies to your dilemma.

Occupying the feminine space isn't contingent on perfection. I can't move into his sphere. Where will he go? And who occupies the place I've left? I must remain where I'm meant.

A hallmark of that is gentleness and softness. Remaining in that state requires intention. No matter what happens between us; I can't move away. I have to respond in kind to handle his strength. Otherwise we're like hard stones cutting against the other. One will break. I'm the weaker of the pair. It will be me.

I'm a surrendered woman. I've lived it for years and date the sort you're looking for. If he has to bring you to that point it will be painful. It's a serious undertaking. You'll require one whose will exceeds your own.

You can bring a person to heel without breaking them. But the majority don't know how or reject that approach. They'll do a take down instead. The force of his person is what causes the pain. He doesn't coax you to the place of surrender. He crushes you.

Your strength may attract the wrong type. Many love the challenge of bringing a strong woman to her knees. You don't need a steely man. You need someone who leads with love and kindness.

Because of your empathy, you need leadership in a different guise. They're usually not overt. They don't roar. He possesses a quiet strength and he'll handle you gently. In that scenario, you'll relax and be able to let go.

When you crown a man king, you're talking about power. You've got to be careful who you put on the throne. They must be benevolent leaders yielded to God. Or you'll have a tyrant.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

 

[Tone]

Also,I must remember to let Yah do the selecting, remembering Samuel's mistake. It's good that he didn't use his own reason as the final criterion to sift through the prospects.

I couldn't care one bit, what others say about any candidate of mine. Not even if the powers that be have slapped their official looking labels on her.

 

[Kashina]

Guarding our hearts is a biblical principle. We must vette their character before bringing them to our bosom.



It is easier to make wise decisions than hope the one you’ve made won’t exploit you. Putting yourself at another’s mercy and hoping they’ll behave accordingly will bring hurt and disappointment. Few will set aside their agenda on our behalf.



It isn’t hard to find a leader. It’s difficult to follow when you want the reins. You’ll have a power struggle. If you want to be led and won’t surrender voluntarily, he must wrest the reins from your hands. That’s going to hurt.

I’ll share something I wrote that applies to your dilemma.

Occupying the feminine space isn't contingent on perfection. I can't move into his sphere. Where will he go? And who occupies the place I've left? I must remain where I'm meant.

A hallmark of that is gentleness and softness. Remaining in that state requires intention. No matter what happens between us; I can't move away. I have to respond in kind to handle his strength. Otherwise we're like hard stones cutting against the other. One will break. I'm the weaker of the pair. It will be me.

I'm a surrendered woman. I've lived it for years and date the sort you're looking for. If he has to bring you to that point it will be painful. It's a serious undertaking. You'll require one whose will exceeds your own.

You can bring a person to heel without breaking them. But the majority don't know how or reject that approach. They'll do a take down instead. The force of his person is what causes the pain. He doesn't coax you to the place of surrender. He crushes you.

Your strength may attract the wrong type. Many love the challenge of bringing a strong woman to her knees. You don't need a steely man. You need someone who leads with love and kindness.

Because of your empathy, you need leadership in a different guise. They're usually not overt. They don't roar. He possesses a quiet strength and he'll handle you gently. In that scenario, you'll relax and be able to let go.

When you crown a man king, you're talking about power. You've got to be careful who you put on the throne. They must be benevolent leaders yielded to God. Or you'll have a tyrant.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

I don't have an issue with letting a man lead. It's been rare for me to come across one that knows how to. I will not submit to just anyone. I've met a lot and know a lot of horrible men, my father being one of them. Any man that wants me to submit must prove to me he can lead.

 

[bèlla]

I don't have an issue with letting a man lead. It's been rare for me to come across one that knows how to. I will not submit to just anyone. I've met a lot and know a lot of horrible men, my father being one of them. Any man that wants me to submit must prove to me he can lead.

I'm sorry you've had unpleasant encounters. I've met many good leaders. I look for evidence in their personal and professional lives. While I understand some may not be in positions of authority in the workplace, there are other avenues to gain experience. I'm not willing to be anyone's experiment.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

 

[Kashina]

I'm sorry you've had unpleasant encounters. I've met many good leaders. I look for evidence in their personal and professional lives. While I understand some may not be in positions of authority in the workplace, there are other avenues to gain experience. I'm not willing to be anyone's experiment.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

I'm glad that I've met you. I feel that you can teach me a lot and share a different perspective.

 

[bèlla]

I'm glad that I've met you. I feel that you can teach me a lot and share a different perspective.

Me too. God is good!

I appreciate your honesty. It helps to frame your comments. I don't want to see anyone mishandled. I've seen enough of that. If I can be a blessing to you in any way I'm happy to do so.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

 

[cara-mia]

You can bring a person to heel without breaking them. But the majority don't know how or reject that approach. They'll do a take down instead. The force of his person is what causes the pain. He doesn't coax you to the place of surrender. He crushes you.

Your strength may attract the wrong type. Many love the challenge of bringing a strong woman to her knees. You don't need a steely man. You need someone who leads with love and kindness.

Because of your empathy, you need leadership in a different guise. They're usually not overt. They don't roar. He possesses a quiet strength and he'll handle you gently. In that scenario, you'll relax and be able to let go.

When you crown a man king, you're talking about power. You've got to be careful who you put on the throne. They must be benevolent leaders yielded to God. Or you'll have a tyrant.

I found this to be extremely true previous to meeting my finace. Many thought to break me and he is the only one who has lead with love and kindness. It was a mutual devotion, choosing, and pairing. It didn't have to be forced or coerced.

It became an organic and divine matching.

 

[bèlla]

I found this to be extremely true previous to meeting my fiance. Many thought to break me and he is the only one who has lead with love and kindness. It was a mutual devotion, choosing, and pairing. It didn't have to be forced or coerced.

It became an organic and divine matching.

That's true. He's different from your norm. You've thrived in his presence.

There was a time when I dated firmer men. But I can't do it anymore. I've grown and the Lord impacted my surrender. My vulnerability doesn't mesh with that energy. While I love the iron, I don't need steel to sink.

My submission must be compelled. I respond naturally to its complement. His essence must match my own. I can't be five leagues ahead. We've gotta flow.

Many men like the idea of me. They're enamored with the thought of having a surrendered companion. When you move beyond the pretty words, there's a soul standing before you. What are you going to do with her?

A wise sculptor will never turn you into something you're not. They refine the surface and extract the jewels hidden from sight. His vision encompasses what it exists. He doesn't destroy your beauty. He enhances it.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

 

[bèlla]

I'm glad that I've met you. I feel that you can teach me a lot and share a different perspective.

I just saw your profile. My word! Our stories are nearly the same. Amazing.

~bella

 

[Sunshinee777]

We all can get to the point where we crave the type of connection between a husband and wife. We say that we've grown and learned and are ready to finally meet them.
But do you truly believe that you are ready to meet them?

First time of my life I am ready, but I have this feeling that it might be no time for that in many years because I think God wants me to focus on serving Him.

 

[DragonFox91]

If I'm not ready now, I never will be & God needs to take this off my heart ASAP.

 

[linux.poet]

No, I don’t have enough money for a marriage right now.

I need to have enough to provide for myself and the kids in case my husband turns out to be an abuser. In addition, it will help to have at least a small income anyway. I refuse to totally rely on my husband for money and end up helpless like my mother did.

I could probably stand to improve my cooking and sewing skills some before I get married as well. Finally, I want to travel and don’t want to be tied down with a husband and kids just yet.

 

[RileyG]

I plan to remain single, so no.

 

[revybub]

We all can get to the point where we crave the type of connection between a husband and wife. We say that we've grown and learned and are ready to finally meet them.
But do you truly believe that you are ready to meet them?

really don't see it happening at this point in my life anymore. Let alone the time we are living in. And how old I am now.

 

[revybub]

really don't see it happening at this point in my life anymore. Let alone the time we are living in. And how old I am now.

But hey who knows. I am fine with being surprised